You know when friends say things......

So my friend calls me today, and she's been my friend for about 5 years - all thru the TTC, she is usually really understanding. I have another 2 buddies here from Australia & NZ so I have been a tad busy and didn't call her back from Wednesday till today, so she gave me a bit of an attitude -which isn't like her.

SO then she tells me she is 21 weeks pregnant, I congratulate her etc. like you do and I ask her when is she due, is she puking, has she a bump , you know, the usual, does she know the sex of the baby, she then says' to me that she does and she is TOTALLY gutted as she is having a boy (already has one of those) and starts to go on about wishing she was having a girl - I by this time have zoned out. Like now it's not fair she is out numbered etc.

Then she commits the cardinal sin of friends that fall "naturally" - "Oh. just watch you'll be next" - Yeah right, you said that with your last pregnancy 2 years ago.

I don't know, just another friend falling pregnant easily & bitching about it, it just brings me down.

Seems every time I post these days I am on a downer & bitching about something. Sorry, it's just 5 years of this wears you down I suppose, you just hope that your "best" friends would be a bit kinder.

Off to bed now - got to be up with the Aussie & NZ to take them into NYC!

Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving (I did!) Let's hope we all have good news soon!

Cathie

PS - My buddy Trudi - the Aussie thought that maybe my friend was nervous to tell me she was pregnant and that was why she reacted the way she did? Who knows - so your having another boy, wind your neck in and deal with it, like I would be upset with THAT problem!

Message edited 11/27/2006 1:45:34 AM.

Re: You know when friends say things......

I totally understand how you feel. I just went through the same sort of thing with a friend of mine. As much as it's frustrating to us, I think it's hard for our friends sometimes too. They don't know what the right thing is to say after a while and as in your friends case, may feel that bi%$hing will make it easier for us to take.
I hope you reach the end of your journey soon and maybe can share a pregnancy with your friend.

Re: You know when friends say things......

I am so sorry, like Gerty said - maybe she was nervous. Her attitude stinks all the same, there is no need to tell us how upset you are because you aren;t happy with the sex of the baby - totally inconsiderate

Put the conversation behind you, enjoy having the girls there with you and focus on the future....

Re: You know when friends say things......

I would have freaked...you are right to feel like you do and are being more diplomatic then I could be. she should have been a thousand times more sensitive in my book.

HANG IN THERE

Re: You know when friends say things......

I have to say that I do this too - try to downplay what I have as not being "great" - I think it's a way of trying to relate to you. Just my two cents but she may have been coming from that point of view.

Re: You know when friends say things......

Sorry you had to listen to her.

Re: You know when friends say things......

WOW- how insensitive. Maybe she was worried to tell you and hurt your feelings but come on. How could you complain that you are not happy that you are having a boy to someone who is struggling to get pregnant in the first place?

You deserve better- I am sorry you have to have that conversation

Re: You know when friends say things......

First of all, it is okay to whine. We all go through it.

Second of all, your friend is insensitive. I'm sorry she upset you and I know how you feel. I know someone who is complaining of morning sickness, when I would KILL to have morning sickness.

When we get there (and we WILL get there) we are going to be the best pregnant women ever. I plan to treasure every moment of my eventual pregnancy. Hang in there!

Re: You know when friends say things......

It amazes me sometimes how insensitive some people can be. I think it's just because they haven't been what you have and it's hard for them to relate.

You are very nice. I probably would have said something blunt to her to make her realize what she was saying.

I had a friend who everytime I called her would complain about the morning sickness and being tired..blah blah blah. I just told her to enjoy it, I would love to be sick right now. Eventually she got the hint and stopped complaining to me.

Hang in there. Just make sure you surround yourself with people who are supportive of you!

Re: You know when friends say things......

Thank you everyone for all your support. I am feeling better about it now, still not quite ready to talk to her yet.
I suppose she felt awkward about it and maybe her pregnant hormonal brain isn't functioning as normal!

Thanks again it is so nice to have somewhere to rant and everyone gets you!