Feeling pressure

My brother died 3 years ago suddently. He was my only sibling. My mom has said to me that if it wasn't for me she would be dead- meaning she has no reason to live. My aunt and grandma said that she tells them that too. I feel so much pressure from that statement. I feel like everything is on my shoulders, all this responsibility. I have to be perfect now, and I have to take care of them. I am only 22, I am just learning to take care of myself! (and husband). I guess its just a lot to handle and I am venting. I usually just try and not think about my brother cause it will get me upset, so I have a lot of unresolved feelings I guess....

Thanks for listening.

Re: Feeling pressure

First I want to say that I am so so sorry for your loss. I am currently going through the same issues. My sister was diagnosed in Oct with Stage 4 Melanoma and it is really hard on all of us. Last week when I was talking with my mom she said that she feels bad for me because not only will I be losing a sister I will be losing the support of my parents because they feel they will never get passed this. They also told me that they will never smile again. Not that I want to be putting my issues on you but I guess it is a way for our parents to vent and maybe they really dont mean what they say at this time. I am sure your parents dont want to put extra pressure on you, and I totally understand the feeling, but they are are unaware of it.

I think as a child you begin to feel the guilt because when the other sibling could step in to help out and now you have to one to be the buffer. I am having a hard time imagining it yet alone living with it. I really do wish you the best and I hope that I can follow my own advice.

If you ever want to talk please feel free to FM me.

Melissa

Re: Feeling pressure

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hug and kiss your sister and tell her you love her every single day. I was on vacation when my brother passed away. I was fortunate enough to call him a few days before to say hi. He died from an overdose, so it was very unexpected. At least I talked to him, I made that call. I miss him everyday, some days more than others. I miss him a lot at holidays, at our wedding, things like that. I miss just seeing him on the couch playing his guitar, or watching South Park.

Please FM me too.

Also, compasionate friends is a group counseling for those who lost children and siblings.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Re: Feeling pressure