Went to dr last night... (LONG)

and after that my DH and I had a BIG fight. He just doesn't get it! He has one view and I have one completely different. My OB/GYN has also agreed with the Radiologist and says I have Endometriosis. It's at least a stage 2 because it's on my ovary. She's referring me to an RE at Duke. She wants me to be in the best hands possible and give me the best chance of having more kids. There is still a chance I could lose an ovary though. Basically what it comes down to is that I'm definitely going to need surgery (LAP) but she doesn't want me to have surgery until we're ready to start TTC#2. I've been ready, but my DH just keeps on talking on how we're not financially ready for another with daycare costs. He keeps saying how he wants another one, but we just can't do it financially right now. To me a baby doesn't come right away and I might not even get PG right away, and things financially will hopefully be better. But he can go on the "what if's". He says we can't just hope something has to change. This is what our fight was mostly about last night. My doctor gave us another option so we can "hold off" on TTC until our finances get better. I am against both of them. She said I can go on Lupron for 6 months. She said she doesn't hardly give out a prescription for this, or I can go on Birth control and hopefully it would shrink the cysts. She doesn't think it would help much, but it could help "preserve" my fertility until he's ready. She concerned about controlling the disease and preserving my fertility. I want that too of course, but I have never subjected my body to birth control pills before in my life. I HATE them. Besides the side affects it screws up your system and the Lupron... NO WAY!!! He doesn't think that taking birth control is a big deal. To me it is! I know millions of women take them, but it's not for me. I'm not being given a choice. Why does something that has to do with my body end up being in my DH control??? That's not right. Why doesn't he understand? He says I don't have to take the hormones, but then I must not want more children! How could he say that? I know he must be upset too, but he said some mean things to me last night. I don't think I've cried that much since I was a teenager. I just don't need this right now. Why can't he work with me? Why, Why Why??? We still haven't talked since the fight. This whole situation is just breaking my heart. I am so depressed today you have no idea. I would like to talk to him and ask him if he could meet me halfway. If I could wait on having the surgery for a couple of months and hope that things won't progress too much, and then start TTC. He seemed ok with her plan of being on hormones for 6 months then having the surgery and TTC. She just suggested that if we're not going to TTC in the next 6 months then we should go on the hormones. I know it's not what he wants, but going on the meds isn't what I want. He should compromise and start TTC in 3 months. To me I don't know how 3 or 6 months makes a difference, but maybe to him it does. I'm just hurting so much inside. By not doing anything is just lowering my chances to have a baby, and by taking meds will just screw up my body and it's not guaranteed to help. I don't know how to get through to my DH. I need him to understand and listen to me. I know EXACTLY where he's coming from about the finances, but my heart says it'll be ok. We'll find a way.

I don't want to ask for prayers since there are women on here going through worse things than me, but if I could ask for some hugs I'd appreciate it. I don't even feel like I'd make it through the day.

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I'm sorry.

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I hope you and your hubby are able to get on the same page soon. Sounds like you are both very worried about very meaningful issues!! How hard!

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Maybe after things blow over you and DH can sit down and come up with a plan that you are both happy with. Your DH does have a point that adding more financial stress may not be a good idea right now so maybe you can come up with a shorter time frame to start trying like 3 months instead of 6 and work together to get to a place where he feels more financially secure.
I hope everything works out. I am sure you are both acting out of frustration and he didn't mean to upset you so much.

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Everything will work out in the end, try to stay positive.

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

i'm sorry

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I am sorry you have to go through this but on a brighter note my girlfriend has this as well. She had it a few years ago and her dr. told her that the only way to get rid of it completely would be to get PG but she wasn't dating anyone so she wound up going on the Lupron and she was fine on it then she had to do the birth control for a period of time and then she came off it. Just recently it came back and her boyfriend isn't ready to have kids so she had no choice but to go back on the Lupron. She is fine with it and hasn't had any major sideeffects except hot flashes.

I know its not for everyone but I thoguht I would share her story with you

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

I am so sorry.

I hope he calms down and will be able to talk to you about this in a rational way--after all, this is YOUR body you are talking about.

Many and

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)

my mom had to get one ovary removed and she went on to have 2 healthy children my brother and I. best of luck to you.

Re: Went to dr last night... (LONG)