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How do we grieve??

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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

How do we grieve??

I posted on Saturday that a very close friend who was an extended part of our family was in a tragic plane crash this weeked. We are all having such a hard time processing what has happened, especially my brother, who was best friends, joined at the hip with this person. We are all traveling to Florida to attend his Funeral, or rather Memorial service on Friday, but how can one grieve when there are no remains? The coast Guard has called off the search for the aircraft because the water is too deep to retrieve it. There is no closure.... but is there ever closure, even when there is a physical body to mourn?

How do we deal with this, and futhermore how do we help my brother to come to closure and terms with the fact he will never see or speak to his "brother" again?

TIA....

Posted 4/24/07 12:23 PM
 
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon

Member since 1/07

3991 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: How do we grieve??

Not sure how to grieve that kind of loss.
i'm so very sorry for your loss and you brothers. It must be hard on you to see your brother hurting so.

your in my thoughts

Message edited 4/25/2007 9:13:46 AM.

Posted 4/24/07 3:03 PM
 

Jenziba
?

Member since 5/05

6265 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: How do we grieve??

I'm sorry that I don't have any answers...just wanted to offer you some hugs...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/24/07 5:19 PM
 

dooodles
When you wish upon a star

Member since 5/05

11997 total posts

Name:
Because 2 people fell in love

Re: How do we grieve??

The grieving process does go on, it is different though when there are no remains. I always felt like there was no "final closure". I am so sorry for your families loss and I hope you find some peace this weekend Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/26/07 9:56 AM
 

Jenhos
Maeve

Member since 6/05

3273 total posts

Name:

Re: How do we grieve??

There are no direct answers. everyone grieves differently. Unfortunately you can just be there for your brother. I know it seems helpless.

Posted 4/26/07 1:45 PM
 

Ali1
Mommy

Member since 8/05

3116 total posts

Name:

Re: How do we grieve??

DH cousin died in 9.11 and when the memorial sevice came it was weird to cry when all you have is a huge picture up front, but it was no different then being at a funeral i felt. I think actually the worst part was when they found her "remains" and we found out that was her lower jaw. That was a lot harder. Everyone grieves differently (i tend to cry a lot) but while not having remains makes it a little "weird" I still found the grieving process for me and DH"s family to be the same.

Maybe if she was my immediate family it would of been weird not having something to bury or cremate at the end, but the actual memorial service is the same thing as a funeral would be I thought.

Hang in there. It's tough no matter what and everyone deals with it in there own way. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/26/2007 10:04:50 PM.

Posted 4/26/07 10:03 PM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: How do we grieve??

Posted by Ali1

DH cousin died in 9.11 and when the memorial sevice came it was weird to cry when all you have is a huge picture up front, but it was no different then being at a funeral i felt. I think actually the worst part was when they found her "remains" and we found out that was her lower jaw. That was a lot harder. Everyone grieves differently (i tend to cry a lot) but while not having remains makes it a little "weird" I still found the grieving process for me and DH"s family to be the same.

Maybe if she was my immediate family it would of been weird not having something to bury or cremate at the end, but the actual memorial service is the same thing as a funeral would be I thought.

Hang in there. It's tough no matter what and everyone deals with it in there own way. Chat Icon Chat Icon




Chat Icon Chat Icon

Thank you everyone. Yesterday was the Memorial service in Florida, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to sit through. One of the pictures they had was a blow up collage, and there were so many pictures that included my family and my brother. My brother gave one of the ulugies, he did well, but cut it real short because he just couldn't speak. That was painful to watch. I've dealt with death before, but for some reason, this was so much different and harder to deal with.

Posted 4/28/07 7:12 PM
 

anjerandunder
Positive thoughts worked!!!

Member since 6/06

1909 total posts

Name:
J

Re: How do we grieve??

i'm sorry for your loss. just be there for your brother. you are in an even more difficult situation because there is no closure. Chat Icon

Posted 5/3/07 4:33 PM
 
 
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