Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

Message edited 1/30/2009 10:47:27 AM.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

There is nothing wrong with keeping what your Mom gave you. I lost both of my parents (my Dad 10yrs this coming Aug. & My Mom 2 yrs this coming Feb.) I have held on to many things that they have given me through the years. For me all of what they gave me has special meaning to me. To part with them would be like parting with both of my parents again, I know that it is not an easy thing to do. Letting go, you don't have to let go anything your Mom gave you.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

don't feel like you have to give anything away just because its old. i have many things that my mom got me and i refuse to give it up. there is no reason to. if it makes you happy keep it. and there is nothing wrong with you for not being able to part with it.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

Posted by anjerandunder

don't feel like you have to give anything away just because its old. i have many things that my mom got me and i refuse to give it up. there is no reason to. if it makes you happy keep it. and there is nothing wrong with you for not being able to part with it.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

I also have gone thru this. I think it is completely normal. I just found some jewelry she had hidden in a drawer for me and my sister- I was hysterically crying. I own the house I grew up in and both parents have passed away. I kept the china closet the way it was becuase I liked the way the china was displayed and then opened a drawer when going thru some stuff and there it was. It is so hard.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

My mom passed away 1 1/2 years ago and I can not part with things that she gave me.

Message edited 9/17/2009 1:28:16 PM.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

I have felt this way about many objects since my mom died when I was ten. It seemed to get more intense after my dad died when I was 24. When I was a kid, my dad couldn't understand why I used to line up my shoes along a wall in my room. He was arguing with me about putting them in my closet... he opened my closet door and found the entire floor covered in my mom's shoes. He thought he had gotten rid of them, but I confiscated them and needed them to stay with me. There are so many things like this. In fact, I cried the other day because my DH accidentally broke an old juice glass that belonged to my parents. Sometimes it seems irrational, but it is normal for me. Having my parents' possessions around me makes me feel comforted.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

Message edited 11/15/2011 7:25:12 PM.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

I have an attic full of things that my mom or dad bought for me that I just can't part with.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

I think that however you grieve is what is best for you. These are all "normal" feelings. It's all you have from her - you don't have her but you have her things that represent her. I kept business cards of my dads, a resume (because I feel it outlines his life) and articles that he had cut out and he passed away 6 years ago. I also have a flannel that I still wear around the house and wear to bed sometimes.

Message edited 12/23/2007 8:48:38 PM.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

Posted by RandJ0806

Posted by anjerandunder

don't feel like you have to give anything away just because its old. i have many things that my mom got me and i refuse to give it up. there is no reason to. if it makes you happy keep it. and there is nothing wrong with you for not being able to part with it.

ITA with this. I've saved things that my mom has bought me or even things that have a special memory attached.

My mom died of breast cancer and when she was in the hospital after her surgery, i was trying to cheer her up and said we'll go shopping tomorrow. she said "robyn, i don't think i'm in any condition to shop." well, the next day I walked in with the jcrew catalog, curled up in bed with her and we shopped and phoned in our order. one of the things i got was a bathing suit. i NEVER wear it and actually think its kinda ugly now but I'll never throw it away. I'm too attached to the memory that comes with it.

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

WOW totally. I have such a hard time letting go of things that either my mom gave me, were my moms or reminded me of her in some way. For example I just remodled my kitchen and really need a new tabe to go with everything but Im usuing my moms tabe still and am having a hard time thinking about a new one.

Antoher thing that I have a hard time getting rid of and havent are those mass card things that people give at the funerals. I have 2 huge boxes filled of themand cant seem to part with them...

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

I lost my Mom 8 years ago today and my dad about 2-1/2 years ago in September.

I still have many things they have given me.....and i do not see that i'm ready to give them up yet.

I figure when i'm ready that i will!

Re: Odd behavior question - for those who lost a parent

This may sound odd, but my sis and I both knew the longer we held on to our moms stuff the harder it would be to part from it. So the day she passed we went through her stuff and decided what to keep and what to donate. I know it sounds like we are horrible daughters but if we didnt do this we would have kept everything.. We figured since her memory was strong at that moment it would be easier to part with things. Plus we felt it would be easier for my father if we did it right away. Its been 6 years now and i really think that was the best decision we ever made, especially for the sake of my father.

I have alot of stuff that was my moms or things she gave me that are soo worn and need to be tossed, that i just cant part with.