Very personal thoughts here..

Was anyone else depressed after finding out they were pregnant?

I dont mean for this to sound bad because I am ecstatic we are pregnant and I am so excited about it. But at the same time, I am experiencing such a weird feeling of depression and am thinking about everything all at once that I feel like it is driving me crazy. My mom says its normal but my dh is getting a little annoyed with me because he thinks I am second guessing everything. Its not that..I truly am elated and I feel so blessed but I never thought I would feel so down and scared all at the same time. Did anyone else feel this way?

This is very personal and I realize I maybe shouldnt post it on an open site but I get so much wonderful feedback from you wonderful ladies that I needed to just vent.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I think what are feeling is totally normal even if you want this baby more than anything in the world. Everyone gets scared once that 2nd line appears because it becomes real. I have thoughts all the time, what if i can't give this baby everything, is it going to change my wonderful marriage, will the baby cause family and IL problems. will i be a good mom, am i doing everything right to nourish and give this baby the best start possible.

It's really good that you do tell DH your feelings, cause keeping them in could do more harm than good.

Just take it one day and a time, and we're here for you

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I don't know if I was depressed, but there were times when I was afraid of becoming a mother, afraid of how our lives were going to change. I was sad to let my oldself and life go but I was ecstastic to be starting on a new path too. I think you have such a wide range of emotions when becoming pg, add to that hormonal changes and that is one heck of a curve. So I think your feelings are normal.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I was very depressed when I was pregnant with twins - I did loss both of them at 9 weeks however I think I just knew it was never good

With this pregnancy I was also sad I dont know if I wre sad or scared of another miss. Anyway, dont worry its normal to feel like this there is alot going on with you now

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

It's funny..I have felt the SAME way at times. We were ecstatic to find out we were pregnant, and still am. I am amazed everyday that this blessing is happening to us.

HOWEVER...you are human!! Its hard to always be completely joyous! I get nervous about being a great parent, and this may sound selfish..but i think the thing that made me most worried was the pending loss of "freedom". Just meaning that the things DH and i do all the time..running out for beers, going to a movie or even just laying around all day and doing nothing..will all change. Its a little scary!

But with that being said..i always remind myself that it's a wonderful new change and life experience...and we can still do "couple" things after the baby...even if it means taking the baby with us :) Don't worry too much and know you are 100% normal!!

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I too have mixed feelings and the baby is almost here..
I guess sometimes when my friends plan to do something or my husband goes out and gets drunk it makes me think why now..
But I know when the baby comes it will be the happiest and greatest thing ever..
We are emotional messes during this time so don't let it bother you..

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I have definite times when I am depressed. I am truly blessed to be having a baby, but I feel like I'm too young some days, I feel like I wanted to enjoy married life some more with just JT, I wanted a house first. But I think it's normal. I felt this same way right before my wedding. I think of it as mourning a way of life that you are so acustomed to that is passing. Change is good, but it's sad, too.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

You are definitely not alone. I had responded to another post about pregnancy & depression (link )

I'll repost what I wrote back then:
Being pregnant is a tough thing to go through. Not only is your body going through changes that no one is really thrilled about, your hormones are in a state of frenzy, worrying about how to handle a newborn, thinking you're going to forget to feed him/her, finances combined with the fact that you realize that you are now truly tied to your husband for life.

There is one thing, I do need to add about pregnancy. In all of my life, I've never known one person that regretted having their baby.

Message edited 1/6/2006 11:25:09 PM.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I certainly was. It wasn't planned at all. DH and I had just finished finalizing everything for our upcoming wedding and it was a huge shock. For the first couple of weeks after finding out, all we did was discuss how hard it would be. We came to our senses of course and it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Now when Christopher looks into my eyes and smiles, it's hard to believe I was ever upset about being pregnant with him.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

Even though mine was planned and I was SO happy to finally be pg., I was sad and felt depressed b/c I was so sick for 6 months. Everyone I knew that was pg. said they felt great and loved being pg. I couldn't understand why I was feeling so crappy especially since this is supposed to be such a happy time for you! I wanted to scream that I hated being pg, but felt like people would think I was a horrible person for feeling that way. Now I'm not as sick, but still having a tough time with this pregnancy. I can't wait until it's over and I can have my normal body back- that is, not tired, sick, vomiting etc- I can't wait to meet the little one who has made me feel this way for 9 months- I do feel blessed that there is a happy ending to all this.

What you are going through is totally normal like everyone else said. Hang in there!

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I wouldn't say I was depressed but there were some thoughts of misgivings like "what did I do???". I think it all stems from our lives completely changing. Everything we did in the past was usually about us and now it's not. For me at least, I don't come first anymore...it's all about the baby.

I think your feelings are completely normal. Don't beat yourself up. You also have to remember that our hormones are running wild and that may have something to do with it too.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

When I was preggo with baby #1 I was elated.. and the more I thought about it the more I freaked out.. Once the baby started moving I felt elated 24/7 again.

Normal ups and downs are to be expected, your hormones are all outta whack, you have NO idea what life is gonna throw out at you and you have no idea what kind of havok this lil person is going to throw in your direction. The good and the bad, it becomes AWESOME.

----The second time around as posted in the link above.. I was seriously starting to feel HORRIFICALLY depressed.. crying all the time, couldnt eat or sleep cuz of anxeity, etc. I had my Dr. give me meds, and I took them for about a month, and they helped me through it. He took me off of them, and its like I am a new person.. Still get normal ups and downs, but it was (I guess) a lower dose, so it was helping "justenough".. If you think you are truly depressed, its not a shameful thing to ask your dr. about receiving some sort of help.. counselling, pills, whatever to help you through. I also met a great group o preggo ladies down here(I live in FL) that I could talk to and vent when my 2y/o fingerpainted with chocolate syrup on our ivory carpets.. and not feel like a bad mommy for feeling the way I felt.

As someone who has been through TERRIBLE peaks and valleys, if you need to ask you Dr. for suggestions.. ask. Thats what they are there for!

And if you ever need to vent, vent away!

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

i have gone through a range of emotions with the predominant one being scared shitless . i am so glad to finally get pregnant but constantly worry about health and money to the point that it does sometimes make me depressed...

Message edited 1/7/2006 3:34:21 PM.

Re: Very personal thoughts here..

I think it is perfectly normal since although you have a wondeful new life in you it is also the end of a chapter in your life where it is just you and DH and can do what you want all the time. Don't get me wrong...having Jack is the most amazing thing, but I would be lying if I said I didn't sometimes long for my pre baby life every now and then.