Need inspiration for my SIL....UPDATED!!

My SIL is 43...she got pregnant with her first on the first try...amazing right? Well, she opted to do the "integrated test" first before deciding to do an amnio. The Integrated test consists of the Ultrascreen at 12 weeks and then the AFP at 16 weeks...

She got the results back last night and called me hysterically crying. She has a low risk of Down's, a low risk of Spina Bifida, but a 1/20 risk of Trisomy 18. She is scheduled for an amnio next Thursday.

I tried to tell her that it was just a screening and means that she needs more testing, BUT it does not mean that the baby has Trisomy 18...she is having a hard time dealing with this and says she has a bad feeling that she's going to have to terminate.

I feel terrible for her and tried to offer support. Does anyone have any stories of False positives or words of inspiration? I'd love to pass on some good words.

PS. Hopefully this will stop her closet smoking and make her realize that 2 watered down glasses of wine this weekend are not OK. I know that they have nothing to do with the chromosome disorder, but she needs to realize what she is doing to her unborn child.

UPDATE: She had the amnio on Tuesday morning and they called her with the preliminary results and the baby is fine and healthy! No Trisomy 18!! YAY!

Message edited 6/9/2005 10:48:59 AM.

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

I was told I had a 1/5 risk for Down's and I suffered for nearly a week until the amnio appt.--the whole thing turned out to be a TYPO! Strange things happen!

Also, make sure to tell her you can have quick amnio results now--something like 2 days. Hopefully, the agony will be shorter.

I know what a difficult time this is and I wish her and your family all the best!

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

I don't know if there is anything you can say to make her feel better. I know that I would be a mess. I think just being there to listen and support her through this is the best you can do.

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

I had a false postitve with my son, they thought there was a good chance he could have Downs. However, I just couldn't go through with the amnio, I wasn't going to abort and the risk that goes along with an amnio scared me. Needless to say, it was exactly that, a false positive. My son was born healthy, absolutely nothing wrong.

Message edited 6/3/2005 11:47:33 AM.

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

Honestly...if she is smoking and drinking wine then the baby's health cannot be her most important priority.

Screening are often scary because they give you all sorts of "maybe this will happen". The amnio is the only test that will tell you "it is happening". I pray that these experience puts things into perspective for her and she begins to consider her baby's health very seriously before she picks up a smoke or feels that a glass of wine is just fine.

I pray your niece or nephew is okay!!! I am sure you are just as worried!

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

There are a bunch of other test they can run to see if that is in fact her percent. I went through genetic counseling because they said my child might have Trisomy 18 because they found a cyst on the baby's brain (which now went away). After two sonos and blood work they found out that my child has a 1/1200 chance of having it. Tell her to go for a second screening and the follow up test. Most of the time the test either give a false positive or some times they mix up the results. Tell her she is in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted. If you need the name of a group of great doctors or the genetic councilor FM.

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....

Additional screening tests are not the answer. Those tests (AFP, ultrascreen, etc.) can only estimate a person's RISK factors...and they are not always accurate.

The *ONLY* diagnostic test available while the baby is in utero is the amnio. Please tell your SIL to have her doctor schedule the amnio to put her mind at ease. If she is closet smoking and drinking wine then she's obviously not going to be able to live through the rest of her pregnancy without knowing for sure.

Plus, if she is certain about terminating IF in fact, there is a problem w/the child, then she has a limited window of opportunity to legally proceed with that option.

I am sorry your family is dealing with this. I know it is not easy...but I pray the tests are just wrong and everything is fine!

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....UPDATED!!

Updated!!!

Re: Need inspiration for my SIL....UPDATED!!

Yeah - that is great!