Steps all around - just want to vent...

I'm a stepdaughter, as well as a stepmother.

Which means I have a stepsister who I really dislike (she is not a nice person), a step-aunt to 2 kids who have been fed by their mom to dislike me and htink I'm "mean."

My dad is a step-grandfather. I have step-family, and then DH's family.

Cailen is surrounded by stepfamily for the most part. None of which we are close with - he loves his big sisters (we always refer to them as sisters, not half-sisters), but they are so much older and they have their own life. They also spend more time with their aunt and grandparents (DH's sister and parents) than Cailen ever will because he is too young....

I don't talk to my mom's side of the family. i am not that close with my dad's side of the family. I dislike most of the stepside of my family. And DH's family aren't warm, fuzzy people, so I really don't havemuch of a relationship with them. And I feel my stepdaughters want little to do with me.

It makes me sad sometimes. I know Cailen has us and he loves us to pieces. He is the happiest little boy I know.

Its hard for me to not stop and think, HMM - maybe it's ME that is the difficult one, but honestly, I promise, I'm not. I love people, and crave family so much I would really do anything to be close with anyone. But these are all people who are hard to connect with, or who just do not want to connect with me....

I don't know what i'm looking for, but some days, it just really gets to me.

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Thought you could use those. I know how you feel. It is rough.

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Some times you have to "make" your family. Surround yourself with those people whom you really love...who cares if they are blood/marriage related or not...

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Posted by hbugal



Some times you have to "make" your family. Surround yourself with those people whom you really love...who cares if they are blood/marriage related or not...

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Lots of

I know that a lot of people would disagree with me on this, and DH used to until I explained the exact same circumstances to him. We refer to SS as a half brother - not b/c he doesn't mean anything to DD - but the relationship is different than that she will have with her full sibs 1- b/c of the serious age difference and all that comes with having a teenage half sib that doesn't live with you compared to the fact we plan on having 2 more kids within the next 2-3 years so they'll all be close in age, and 2- b/c his mom does the PAS thing and it's not fair to her to have her heart broken b/c his mom is mean. It's okay if people think I'm not right for saying this - as long as DH agrees and even SS feels this way. He has even said - she's a half sister, granted that may have been his mother's input, but consistency is best for the kids. The way he said it wasn't harboring resentment - it was very matter of fact. Kind of like when one time someone asked him if I was his mother - he said "no, she's my step-mother".

I'm sure your DS will know he's loved by you and your DH - that's what is most important. Embrace the love in your home. That's what I do.

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Posted by anjerandunder

Posted by hbugal



Some times you have to "make" your family. Surround yourself with those people whom you really love...who cares if they are blood/marriage related or not...

i totally agree with this!! love is all around you and it doesn't matter who cailen gets it from!!!

Re: Steps all around - just want to vent...

Maybe it's a phase the kids are in............Hopefully, with time and effort things will become better