Upset over test results...

Sorry that this is long, but I have been upset about something related to my m/c and needed to vent.

I had a D&C 4 weeks ago and received the results back from the testing they were able to do.

The embryo had an entire extra set of X chromosomes and was 69 XXY instead of 46 XX or 46 XY

This was caused by either the egg being fertizlied by 2 sperm or the egg was diploid (46 XX) instead of haploid (23 X). Both indicate that there was an egg issue. This is not all that surprising because I have been dealing with IF and my RE suspects that I have egg quality issues.

What I am most upset about is that I feel like the baby was not really boy or girl. I know that technically it was a boy because it had a Y chromosome, but the egg could have been fertilized by an X sperm, then a Y or the opposite, or it was an XX egg fertilized by an Y sperm.

DH tells me that I am overthinking things and that I am just making things harder on myself. He sees this as proof that it wasn't meant to be and that we need to think of the baby in "spirit" now.

I just feel cheated. From the day I found out I was PG, I was dying to know if it was a girl or a boy. I kept telling DH that the sex is determined at conception. Now, I feel like I didn't even get to find that out.

I'm sorry for the ramble and maybe my feelings are abnormal, but it has just really upset me.

Re: Upset over test results...

i am so sorry ... i know exactly how you feel about this..

that was one of the toughest things i had dealt with too.. is the not knowing the gender.. it sounds dumb to others.. but for me.. i wanted to know!
and i could have known in my situation but everything went so fast and it was taken away before i knew it..

again, i am so sorry for your loss.. its so hard for other people to understand how hard all of this is unless they went through it themselves..

Re: Upset over test results...

I can understand your feelings...totally valid.

Unfortunately, we'll never have the answers to these kinds of questions...it is very frustrating.

As MetsGirl said, most people just don't get it unless they've been through it. Its very isolating. You can vent to us any time.

Re: Upset over test results...

Posted by KrisT

I just feel cheated. From the day I found out I was PG, I was dying to know if it was a girl or a boy. I kept telling DH that the sex is determined at conception. Now, I feel like I didn't even get to find that out.

I'm sorry for the ramble and maybe my feelings are abnormal, but it has just really upset me.

Re: Upset over test results...

Your feelings are not abnormal at all. I know exactly how you feel.

My second mc they did tests and I found out it was a girl. I made it so hard b/c I could actually picture it in my mind- it was su ch a wierd feeling. But it actually made me feel worse b/c I didn't have tests the first time around, and now I'll never know the sex of that baby.

Re: Upset over test results...

Awww Kristen....you have every right to be upset. Its completely understandable. I'd feel the same way

Re: Upset over test results...

Thanks so much for everyone's responses