Dilemma with my boss

I work for a very senior person and have worked for her for 5 years. She knows very personal things about me, my health issues, some financial issues..etc. In turn she has shared a lot of personal stuff with me. We have a good relationship.

She went to the doc yesterday and I have a feeling she had something wrong but she hasn't said anything. She immediately went into her office, closed the door and called her husband. She was in a crappy mood.

I want to sit down with her and ask her about it but I don't want to pry. Eventually, if there's some follow up with her doctor, I will have to make her appts, clear her calendar..etc. I guess I could just wait and see but I am close to her and want to lend an ear if she wants to talk or to just let her know I'm here if she needs something.

She's a very stoic person and doesn't let her emotions show. One part of me says to mind my own business and the other makes me want to reach out.

WWYD?

Re: Dilemma with my boss

If you feel the need to say something I would just mention that you sensed something was wrong and let her know you are there if she needs to talk/vent. If she doesn't seem open to talking about it, I wouldn't push the subject.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

I agree with the above poster. I recently found out some devastating news about someone I am an aquaintance with and want to offer her support since I know a lot of resources for what she is going through but don't think it's my place to put it out there just yet.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

I wouldn't say anything unless you get some preliminary information, either from her directly (as her mentioning something), or indirectly (like scheduling a doctor's appointment).

If you two are as close as you say you are, I am sure she understand you have her back if she needs it.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

Re: Dilemma with my boss

Re: Dilemma with my boss

I know slightly different but...
A friend of mine recently became my boss and we both also know some VERY personal things about one another. For you it started out as your boss and you shared this info for us we shared it prior to having this new relationship. Anyhow, in the current relationship, I wouldnt touch any personal issues with a 10 ft pole unless they offered that info. My only suggestion is that you could ask her if everything is ok and let her direct where the conversation goes. It sux that the positions involved are so touchy. ya never know whats crossing the line. In my situation i lost a very good friend.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

If you guys get along, she will come to you when she is ready.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

she hasn't said a word yet.

I've asked her a few times if she was ok and she said yes and that was it.

Ok, if there is something going on I will find out eventually.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

If she wants to tell you, she will tell you -- in her own time and on her own terms. For now, I would just go about business as usual. Just because you happen to already know a lot of personal things about each other does not mean that she wants you to know whatever is going on now. Everyone has different boundaries. I would just go on as usual and if she wants to share, she will. For all you know, whatever is bothering her could be completely unrelated to the doctor's appointment.

I would honestly also stop asking her if she is okay. When I am going through something and don't want to talk about it, that question always comes off as nosey to me. I KNOW you're not trying to be nosey, but when I'm emotional about something, that's how asking that question (more than once) comes off sometimes.

I hope everything is okay for her.

Message edited 4/27/2009 11:14:49 AM.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

thanks Kara. I've only asked her a few times about being ok. I'm not harping on it.

I know my dwelling tendencies and I'm reining them in!

Re: Dilemma with my boss

I would not out right ask. I feel that she will tell you when she is ready.

Re: Dilemma with my boss

I wouldn't say anything yet. Let her approach you about it! she may not feel comfortable talking about it right now..Give her time