I finally blew my lid this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have officially HAD IT with DH's parenting skills...HAD IT!!!! I love my SS and SD to death, I would do anything for them and I HATE how everyone neglects to teach them basic life skills like picking up after yourself and being aware and responsible. Therefore, in my house, they have to pick up their own socks from the floor, their dishes, actually take a towel they use and not throw it on the floor but put it in the hamper (I know, real tough right?!?!). My SK would literally forget their head if it wasn't screwed onto their body. They lose cell phones, jump into pools with ipods in their pockets, forget their books at our house, we are forever mailing stuff home to them *(they live 2 hours away but visit every other weekend). We are very close.

Anyway, so DH and I went to church this morning and their mom was late picking them up so they stayed home to wait for her and we left. They are 14 and 15 so they are old enough to be left alone, one would think. They get picked up about 20 minutes later and DH and I proceed to go furniture shopping andthen food shopping. We come home.......and my front door is open. I'm not talking unlocked or slightly ajar..........WIDE OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart sunk and I ran inside to see if we had been robbed when I remembered that SK were the last to leave. Every light was on in the house and my blood pressure just hit the roof. I went BANANAS. I told DH to either call them and yell at them or I would do it and there would be a MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of our jewelry is out because we're packing, flat screen TV's, everything!!!!!!!!!!

DH gets onthe phone with SD, says two words and I hear her yelling over him that she locked the door and shut it and checked it and he proceeds to go...oh..ok...ok yea ok, uh huh. I started screaming, ARE YOU KIDDING ME>!>!>!>!>>!>!

we got into a screaming match, he hung up the phone and we got into a huge blowout. His philosophy is...well you know they are irresponsible, what do you want me to do?????

It's only a matter of time before one of htem does something REALLY STUPID and gets hurt. They've even cooked food in the toaster and left plastic stuff on there and almost burned it down. Sorry this is long but I either vent here or continue screaming at DH! Is he insane to take this kind of approach?? Is it so difficult to take an interest in your kids and be a parent?? He says I should call them and yell at them if i'm mad b/c there's nothing he can do. Lemme tell you, it will be a COLD DAY IN HELL before they're left home alone again.

Re: I finally blew my lid this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh boy I would have lost it too!! Big Time!!

I know where you are coming from, my SD does not pick up after herself at all, is irresponsible (DH's fault) and when I tried to enforce some responsiblility he accused me of setting her up for failure. So it got nowhere.

At their ages there is no reason why they should not be spoken to about what happened and what could have happened....you could have been robbed and they need to know that. What would DH have done if you were robbed? If they don't learn now about responsibility it is not just going to suddenly happen at 18 or 20 or 21.

I definately think if he doesn't address that issue then you should...only because you could have lost personal belongings had someone decided to walk into your home.

Re: I finally blew my lid this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been in this situation many of times and it's very frustrating. SS would leave the house and not lock the door, leave the TV on, his stero etc. I've tried to let DH handle it but, he has the same excuse as your's. "He's irresponsible" I'm thinking....OK so just let him be irresponsible, let's not correct it????? NO! I cut out the middle man and go direct to SS and explain to him that someone could enter the house, take my stuff, we would loose the dogs, etc.
It took a bit for it to sink in but, I show him that I appreciate him helping me out. Then we went through the bit when he lost his keys, it's always something!

In your case, SK are claiming they shut the door. Obviously they didn't. So, You are doing the right thing by not leaving them alone in your home. It's going to be inconvienient for you at times but, how else r they going to learn? It seems as if BM isn't teaching them any responsibility either.

Re: I finally blew my lid this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would totally flip out too. And not so much about the door situation but the lack of dad teaching his kids responsibility. It's ridiculous! I go through the same thing. Believe me, I understand your frustration.

Re: I finally blew my lid this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree, you get to the point where you are more angry with DH for not doing anything about it then the SK b/c in some cases, they weren't taught properly in the first place.