Re: Friends with kids

Re: Friends with kids

Message edited 1/12/2010 2:13:54 AM.

Re: Friends with kids

Re: Friends with kids

Posted by AlmondJoy

Posted by Nifheim

Yet again parents, preggers etc reason why many people avoid this board is because non CF keep popping on. I answered on the families parking spot/pregnant parking because it was on the NF- general discussion board. GENERAL discussion not CF or parenting, etc.

This may be true but I don't read this board because it's boring
Page 1 still has replies from December 15 2009.
It also has 24 threads 15 of which are completely unrelated to anything about a "childfree lifestyle". The 9 remaining threads are basically reiterative posts on very limited themes.

Before me and Mounds had our Baby Ruth we had a fantastic childfree life, we had time, we had money, we had ADVENTURES. We had friends who annoyed the ever living nougat out of us. If we were "welcome" to post here we might empathize with your plight(s) regarding inlaws, friends, jobs, etc. Holy HEATH we might have even picked up a solution or two along the way. Having a baby makes you a parent, not a moron. So it's a pity the common ground cannot be found and such an antagonistic dynamic exists on here.
I'll check back in a month, this thread will likely still be on page 1.

Re: Friends with kids

Message edited 1/12/2010 9:08:27 AM.

Re: Friends with kids

Re: Friends with kids

Re: Friends with kids

And I'm officially done.

This is the same exact bullsh!t that has been going on forever and it's not going to end. There's absolutely NO reason why this board can't exist peacefully, yet certain groups of people on both sides just cannot allow it to happen. So I'm done. This board will just be another Parenting-type forum for me, one I will skip because I just CANNOT take the incessant drama anymore. It's no longer worth it.

I have lots of CF friends and lots of friends who are parents. I've never in my life experienced this type of petty, over-dramatic crap over something as small as a group of CF women wanting a small corner of a BB to be a judgment-free zone where they can discuss things amongst themselves. It's a very small group of people who have made this forum utterly unbearable, too, and that's really sad.

To the *majority* of parents who popped in sometimes to give non-judgmental, non-threatening advice on neutral threads, I don't think anyone ever had a problem with that. If that's how things had continued, this all out drama wouldn't be going on. NO ONE disputes that you probably have very insightful things to say and lots of experience that would be helpful ()as do we CF ladies). We know that -- and we know where to find you if that is what we are looking for.

To the very small group of parents who have been sitting around defensively waiting for drama to ensue, jumping on anytime someone tries to VENT to similarly-situated people, taking GENERAL vents personally, I hope you realize how disgustingly petty it is to be monitoring these boards. We're adults here and we can take care of ourselves. If we wanted your opinion, we would have posted these threads on a different board. Not really sure how many different ways we can say that - tried being nice, tried being blunt, but clearly you feel it's your need to monitor these boards for whatever reason. We're really over it and over you taking everything personally and butting in here in the name of "it's a free world, this is the Internet, and I can post wherever I want." We get that. We've always gotten that. We don't need you to preach to us about the freedoms of the Internet, especially while in the same breath you are complaining that we are posting our opinions here (and that includes saying we really can't stand the constant, defensive posts from parents). If that were the kind of insight we were looking for, we'd post on another board here. There are several options. We don't get why you WANT to post here. We don't get why you internalize and personalize everything that is posted here. We don't get why you won't just let us be and ignore us. Unless there is some influx of CF ladies infiltrating the Parenting board (which would really be lame, I might add), I don't get why you don't just post your issues with us over there. CLEARLY you think you know better than the people on this board. Whether you do or you don't, I really don't care. You have basically made it clear to everyone that you won't be happy unless and until this board consists only of threads that don't "bother" you.

You'll note that the vast majority of CF ladies on LIF do not post here regularly anymore. That's not a coincidence. We're sick and tired and the never-ending drama. So what you've basically accomplished here is driving away many of the CF ladies who aren't going to post just vents and angry threads you'll take personally. And, BTW, people here should be allowed to vent and no one here should feel bad about doing that. I'm sure you have plenty to vent about your CF friends who don't understand you. Go ahead. Sometimes you need to get it out without be attacked for you feelings when you post in the heat of the moment. Clearly plenty of people don't get that and think everything is some type of cover personal attack against them. IT'S NOT.

People are going to say things over here that offend you. If you don't like it, IGNORE IT. Unless it's a personal attack against you, move on. If you don't like getting upset by what is posted here, don't read this board.

And, finally, to the small group of CF ladies who are actively engaging in this war against the parents on this board, give it a rest. NO ONE should feel they have to censor themselves here, unless it's a personal attack -- but intentionally posting inflammatory things just to get a response, rolling your eyes at every single post by a parent (even the innocent ones), reading the Parenting forum only to b!tch over here about their topic of the day, and generally inciting drama the same way some parents do makes nothing any better.

This COULD have been a really nice, supportive place. Somewhere we could vent (yes, we're allowed to do that), find support, and just discuss things that matter to us among people who are in the same boat as us. Many people on both sides of this argument have allowed that not to happen.

It's no coincidence that this board isn't active. The people I feel could contribute most to this board don't post here for a really, really obvious reason. The drama and arguing is out of control.

So a giant, sarcastic THANK YOU *to all the people who ruined what should have been a really great board here.

Re: Friends with kids

you know what i am deleting what i just posted because it was childish and would be adding fuel to the fire.

i just want to say for those who give amazing advice parent, non parent thank you. For those who have to scrutinize everything anyone else says outside of your opinion, good luck in life

Message edited 1/12/2010 9:42:35 AM.

Re: Friends with kids

Message edited 1/12/2010 10:23:03 AM.

Re: Friends with kids

I have to be honest. MOST of the threads I have seen on here are CFers bashing kids. A LOT of times it's bashing the parent. Some of the posters here exude a hate from them like no other to parents and children. You can taste it OVER THE NET. I realize a lot of things can be misconstrued by the net, but when it is a constant it can't help but be noticed. It is the same people over and over. That is why I don't post over here.

I posted a thread on relationships about my nephew breaking a vase of mine. I very easily could have posted it here, but I KNEW it would have turned into a hate fest. I just wanted to vent. I didn't want anyone calling him a spawn or devil or declaring how oblivious my brother was as a parent. (I reserve that right for me.)

For the record, I have a ton of time on my hands and I lurk/post on parenting. You know what? They hate on themselves too. Their board isn't drama free. NO board is drama free. Pets had their share, celebrities all the time. It's part of partaking in a chat board. Any internet forum is open and going to have a few loons, myself included.

Re: Friends with kids

back to the OP, as i said before and might of not been read i think it really is the lack of freindship. Kids or no kids if people want to take the time to talk to you they will. My sister in law with twins manage to call me back every time i leave a vm.

And for the other part "you will see when you have kids" yes perhaps and perhaps not. I find that when people make statements like that its meant to be mean and spiteful or perhaps they really dislike their own choices in life.

It was like the one time i went out to dinner with a friend with her 6 month old at a coffee house and her kid spit up she goes "awe its so cute" i said honestly no i find it repulsive when I am eating. She got angry at me and said i was a ***** and i will see when i have kids. Walked out - she called me two days later to apologize because she said she hates the fact she can't go out with out her kid and have a normal conversation, i said i can comply understand and get where you are coming from but next time let's meet with out the kid and now every month or so we do that. She truly needs the break and I find now she doesn't say stupid b/s like you will see when you have kids, she normally vents and we move on to better topics such as politics/sex and our youth of clubbing and partying. Maybe you can ask your friend if you truly want her friendship if she would like to do something with you and see how she reacts. If she pulls "i am too busy" b/s then i would end the relationship for now.

Re: Friends with kids

I think the part of the story that the OP is venting about is the part where her friend said "you will see when you have kids". The statement would have rubbed me the wrong way as well. It comes across as kind of condescending. For the OP's friend to suggest that she will need to have kids before she could possibly understand what its like to have a busy, hectic life is ridiculous.

FTR, my sister has three kids and still finds the time to call me - and in many cases she calls me more frequently than I call her. So I don't really think it has much to do with having kids.

Re: Friends with kids

Message edited 1/12/2010 12:38:25 PM.

Re: Friends with kids

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by AlmondJoy

This may be true but I don't read this board because it's boring
Page 1 still has replies from December 15 2009.
It also has 24 threads 15 of which are completely unrelated to anything about a "childfree lifestyle". The 9 remaining threads are basically reiterative posts on very limited themes.

Before me and Mounds had our Baby Ruth we had a fantastic childfree life, we had time, we had money, we had ADVENTURES. We had friends who annoyed the ever living nougat out of us. If we were "welcome" to post here we might empathize with your plight(s) regarding inlaws, friends, jobs, etc. Holy HEATH we might have even picked up a solution or two along the way. Having a baby makes you a parent, not a moron. So it's a pity the common ground cannot be found and such an antagonistic dynamic exists on here.
I'll check back in a month, this thread will likely still be on page 1.

Re: Friends with kids

Posted by BJandDan

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by AlmondJoy

This may be true but I don't read this board because it's boring
Page 1 still has replies from December 15 2009.
It also has 24 threads 15 of which are completely unrelated to anything about a "childfree lifestyle". The 9 remaining threads are basically reiterative posts on very limited themes.

Before me and Mounds had our Baby Ruth we had a fantastic childfree life, we had time, we had money, we had ADVENTURES. We had friends who annoyed the ever living nougat out of us. If we were "welcome" to post here we might empathize with your plight(s) regarding inlaws, friends, jobs, etc. Holy HEATH we might have even picked up a solution or two along the way. Having a baby makes you a parent, not a moron. So it's a pity the common ground cannot be found and such an antagonistic dynamic exists on here.
I'll check back in a month, this thread will likely still be on page 1.

Totally uneccessary.

You make a name to belittle people?

That is really cruel

Message edited 1/12/2010 1:07:10 PM.

Re: Friends with kids

Message edited 1/12/2010 6:05:12 PM.