Suicide

I posted in June that I lost my best friend to unknown causes. She was found in her bedroom and no one knew what happened to her. Months later, the cause of death has been determined to be suicide. I have been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions ever since I found out tonight, I am riddled with guilt over not instinctively knowing to call her that day and somehow pull her out of what she was feeling, distraught in knowing that her final moments were filled with such emptiness, loneliness and despair... and just a million other terrible feelings. It feels like I just found out she died all over again.

One thing I don't feel is anger toward her. I view her only as a victim to her unrelenting depression who couldn't see beyond that through, bearing no fault for losing her battle the way she did. She was such a kind and loving person and didn't deserve to die like this.

Has anyone else dealt with suicide? I am finding it to be an entirely unique type of loss and pain right now and would love to talk to someone who's been through it.

Re: Suicide

I'm sorry I dont really have any experience with this...though I do know of people that have committed suicide. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am you're going through this. I know you said you feel guilty for not doing something that but this is not your fault. I do think it is normal however to have these feelings of "I should have done something." But how were you to know she would do something so drastic? Know what I mean?
Again I'm so sorry for your loss

Re: Suicide

I have no personal experience, but I do believe that the guilt you feel is common and normal, and I think that if its an option for you, you might want to seek some kind of counseling to deal with the emotions you feel.

I'm so sorry that this happened to someone so close to you and that you are dealing with the aftermath. Depression is a horrible, crippling disease that I don't feel people take seriously enough.

Re: Suicide

I lost my best friend at 14 to suicide. She actually shot herself in the head with her dads hunting rifle. To this day her death haunts me....all these years later. The anger goes away but it takes some time. I am very sorry for your loss

Re: Suicide

I am so sorry for your loss. My aunt committed suicide when I was 16 and it was such a roller coaster of emotions, different than an accidental death or one from natural causes. Time does heal all wounds. Now when I think of her, I remember her and not the problems she had or the way in which she died. My good friend's father also committed suicide when we were 21. It is a very difficult thing to deal with.