getting really sad again today...

and I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow, I'm starting to panic about that as well.

Re: getting really sad again today...

it's totally normal to get sad and then feel better and then get sad again.

I'll tell you my story, I had a party to go to a few days after my miscarriage and there was a pregnant woman there and a few people actually congratulated me on my pregnancy, people who werent even supposed to know I was pregnant to begin with. I was devastated, I stepped out of the place, went outside to get some air, shed a few tears, then went to the bathroom to pick myself up and went back in there.

Don't think you're crazy for being upset about having to go to a baby shower, just think of it as another day. Get yourself through it and when you get home if you need to cry then cry and get it all out. That's what I would do, I would hold it in til I got home and then I would let the river of tears flow until I felt better.

Good Luck sweetie, It does get easier with time

Re: getting really sad again today...

i'm sorry you are feeling sad but as the PP said, it's totally normal. my loss was 6 months ago and i had the sadest week of all this week. i literally cried everyday day until yesterday. then yesterday i finally felt like i was going to be ok (again) and i had a lovely day with DH. you will have happy times in the coming months and you will have sad times too.....you just have to let yourself feel all the emotions.

i think you are very strong for going to a baby shower this soon after your loss.....i honestly don't think i could've done it. if it becomes too hard for you or you can't bring yourself to go, i think you should give yourself permission to skip it and your friends will understand.

sending lots of hugs your way

Re: getting really sad again today...

Awww I know it's such a sad time. And for you it was sooo soon ago.

Truthfully.... in all honesty if you aren't up for it... then i say do not go. send a gift to do the right thing... maybe even explain why. But if it were me and it was right after I don't know that I'd go. even now I have issues with that stuff. Don't be afraid to not go. You have a VERY VALID REASON.

If you do go... take time for yourself. remember that you might have moments where you need to go leave the room for a minute to gather yourself. it's a difficult thing to go through and there's no time line on how long it should take you to never feel upset about it... because truth is... you will probably always have part of you that's devastated by it.

I have a coworker who has been on almost identical timelines with me. We got engaged a few months apart... married in the same year... then both became pregnant shortly after our weddings..... she just gave birth to a little girl a few days ago. And I'm soooo happy for her.... but at the same time it does break my heart a little. It's hard to see the pics and hear all the congratulations.

Re: getting really sad again today...

Its totally normal to feel that way...I m/c last July and still get sad...but I think that's natural.

I think your friend will appreciate that you are going to the shower. As sad as I got/get I don't want it to interfere w/ my friendships, and although I'm sad for mysefl I want to be happy for them...I mean I want people to be happy for me when my time comes...no matter waht is going on in their lives, so I always try to do the same for them...

but it's totally normal to feel sad for yourself...I hope it goes well.

Re: getting really sad again today...

I hope it wasn't too bad if you decided to go.

Re: getting really sad again today...

I just realized that i was invited to a baby shower... and I'm not going. I will send a gift though. It didn't even click when I got the invite... I literally opened it, saw it, and thought... OK I send a gift. It never dawned on me that I don't want to go and why I don't want to go. it was like a natural oblivious response. Strange.

But I'm not going becuase it's too much for me to be around. And it's not somoene who I'm close to at all. It's DH cousins ex husbands new girlfriend. The guy was in the bridal party... so I do know him a little bit.. but I don't know the girl at all.. other than her first name.

Re: getting really sad again today...

when my twin sister M/C one of our friends at the time was having a baby shower the following week. She didn't attend and I felt she shouldn't. I knew she wouldn't of been able to sit there and not get emotional. My heart really went out to her. It was her first pregnacy at the time.

Re: getting really sad again today...

I did end up going and I actually held up really well. I kept to myself and really didn't speak much at all...but I got through it! of course...I had a breakdown and couldn't stop crying the night before...but the fact that I could sit through a baby shower just one week after I lost my baby gave me hope that things will deff get easier with some time.

I must say though ...waiting for first AF is HARD! my hubby has been so supportive and loving and tonight was my first night out and with drinks and he was lookin sooo cute...but I know that to be safe I should wait for AF before possibly making another baby. (I don't believe in any contraceptives)

Re: getting really sad again today...

Re: getting really sad again today...

You deserve a lot of credit. That must have been really hard so I think you are really brave.