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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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the WHY ME question
ANyone going through this?
I just stupidly read the PG board poll of how long did it take you to get PG and I think the majority of people got PG within a month or two of trying. This has upset me to NO end tonight.
That is how it SHOULD BE! So why not us?? I just wish I had some answers ya know? Why we were choosen to have to wait and wait.
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Posted 6/7/06 7:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: the WHY ME question
Absolutely...every day 
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| Posted 6/7/06 7:38 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: the WHY ME question
I am with ya. Yesterday I admitted a man whose wife was PG with their FIFTH, and the four were ages 5,3,2,1.
I am starting to brace myself for my BFN soon. I have no idea how I will react cause no matter what I think its always different.
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| Posted 6/7/06 7:47 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: the WHY ME question
I often ask this question. 
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| Posted 6/7/06 8:01 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: the WHY ME question
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| Posted 6/7/06 8:12 PM |
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tjspidur1
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 339 total posts
Name:
Trish
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Re: the WHY ME question
I am just new to the board and going through this. All I keep saying is "I didn't smoke, do drugs, I drink..whoopee....I didn't sleep around, I got good grades, have a great job, a wonderful DH, etc"
My family recently went thru some VERY hard times and all I keep reminding myself is of that book "when bad things happen to good people" - ugh....
i really want to believe there is some master plan we will all understand later on but d*a*m*n this is frustrating!
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| Posted 6/7/06 8:44 PM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: the WHY ME question
I was shocked too when I saw the thread about howw long it took - its been so long (well only 2 years) that it seems like I think it every day now
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| Posted 6/7/06 9:09 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: the WHY ME question
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| Posted 6/7/06 9:14 PM |
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chris
LIF Adult
Member since 10/05 1042 total posts
Name:
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Re: the WHY ME question
I just keep believing there is a reason for everything
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| Posted 6/7/06 9:43 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by tjspidur1
I am just new to the board and going through this. All I keep saying is "I didn't smoke, do drugs, I drink..whoopee....I didn't sleep around, I got good grades, have a great job, a wonderful DH, etc"
My family recently went thru some VERY hard times and all I keep reminding myself is of that book "when bad things happen to good people" - ugh....
i really want to believe there is some master plan we will all understand later on but d*a*m*n this is frustrating!
your so right. I mean, I SURE dont need or want symapthy , I just want answers and a little change of luck ya know?
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| Posted 6/7/06 9:44 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by dm24angel
ANyone going through this?
I just stupidly read the PG board poll of how long did it take you to get PG and I think the majority of people got PG within a month or two of trying. This has upset me to NO end tonight.
That is how it SHOULD BE! So why not us?? I just wish I had some answers ya know? Why we were choosen to have to wait and wait.
I did the exact same thing yesterday. WHY did I read that post?
I'm not looking for a pity party but my aunt said to me the other day something along the lones of "Well, maybe this is just God's plan or your cross you have to bear." As if my mom dying when I was eight, Dad's two remarriages and divorces, his stroke when he was 57, me moving back in to care for him for 7 years, and not meeeting DH until I was 33... oh yeah, no other "crosses" to bear in life. Why can't God have "thrown me a bone" on this one? I mean most would agree I should I gotten a honeymoon baby as payback.
My DH and I are educated, financially secure and have a great house in a great school district. Meanwhile, I have a cousin who has 8 kids, doesn't have a dime to his name, I strongly suspect his parents help him out financially as well as watching the kids daily and doing all of the laundry Oh, and his wife was told by her ob-gyn, because of severe complications with #4, that she should have stopped at 4.
Sorry about the rant but I'm mad today about it.
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| Posted 6/8/06 5:25 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: the WHY ME question
Donna....I know, I felt like crap when I posted 2 1/2 years, and many were so much shorter
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| Posted 6/8/06 7:31 AM |
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robcoll1002
My Beautiful Babies
Member since 5/05 2073 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: the WHY ME question
I ask myself that very same question every minute of every day. Yesterday I had a patient that was having her blood drawn and passed out. She was an older lady and her husband was waiting in the hallway for her, pacing back and forth waiting to make sure everything was ok. Well, I walked past him and started to cry. Why, you might ask! Because I instantly thought about the day I am in the hospital giving birth and my DH pacing back and forth---that's when the "WHY ME" came into play. I feel like I have gone off the deep end.
So no Donna, you are not alone, glad to see I'm not either. I looked at the pregnancy board last night also and saw that post and wanted to cry again.
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| Posted 6/8/06 8:31 AM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: the WHY ME question
Donna, I feel the same way, I have found reading this every once in awhile helps me. Sorry if it's a repost-
---------------------------------------------------
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."
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| Posted 6/8/06 9:09 AM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: the WHY ME question
I'm sorry that thread was upsetting to you....even though I posted on it, it upset me also. I posted 19 months...and I was one of the longer ones....and I even cringed reading the thread that said all the 1st tries.
My point is...although I'm happy to be a part of that board now...I remember not long ago, I was here on this board and met some really wonderful ladies here, who I hope will join me very soon as "graduates". So...I know it's probably easy for me to say now, there is hope that one day you will all get your turn to feel comfortable posting over there with your good news.
I hope I didn't offend anyone here...I feel weird posting here sometimes because I'm not sure if you guys think of me as a traitor 
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| Posted 6/8/06 9:12 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by luvsun27
I hope I didn't offend anyone here...I feel weird posting here sometimes because I'm not sure if you guys think of me as a traitor
You aren't a traitor at all! I think it's nice when those of you who struggled and graduated come back over to check on us and our progress.
I would rather that then you ignore us altogether and pretend you were never here! 
Donna, I read through that post too and I had an immediate why me reaction too. 18 months of trying now with nothing to show for it?? Makes me mad. 
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| Posted 6/8/06 9:23 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: the WHY ME question
Kim you are a lifesaver.... so post away I would say! It is encouraging to see people who have "graduated" especially since it has been a while now since anyone has.
I get the same way Donna -- I have a few friends who have been through IUI and IVF and did NO research at ALL and yet - they have been successful! What is the deal??
I am trying to focus more on how lucky I am to have had a second chance at love and a wonderful marriage -- and everything after is gravy. We will have a child, one day, one way or another, and that is what will keep me hopeful.
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| Posted 6/8/06 10:16 AM |
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Sandra
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1185 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: the WHY ME question
Infertility and why ME?
I am in menopause...not peri, but full blown (2yrs ) with hot flashes, mood swings, rounder body, sleepless nights, and no opportunity to even try to get a BFP.
Living through my parents divorce, an alcoholic parent, cancer at 27, l& iving through 9/11......I can't even let myself think the 'why me', because this infertility is making me stronger (again....) and god has a bigger plan. I am sad I won't be conceiving my own biological child, but our adoption of a baby is giving life to a child who needs a home with love, and the chance for us to be parents --I am thrilled we are adopting and happy we will be parents regardless of not able to get a BFP on our own becaise this baby from China is our BFP....and it will take almost 2 yrs+ between paperwork and waiting---
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| Posted 6/8/06 10:34 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by Sandra
Infertility and why ME?
I am in menopause...not peri, but full blown (2yrs ) with hot flashes, mood swings, rounder body, sleepless nights, and no opportunity to even try to get a BFP.
Living through my parents divorce, an alcoholic parent, cancer at 27, l& iving through 9/11......I can't even let myself think the 'why me', because this infertility is making me stronger (again....) and god has a bigger plan. I am sad I won't be conceiving my own biological child, but our adoption of a baby is giving life to a child who needs a home with love, and the chance for us to be parents --I am thrilled we are adopting and happy we will be parents regardless of not able to get a BFP on our own becaise this baby from China is our BFP....and it will take almost 2 yrs+ between paperwork and waiting---
Sandra....
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| Posted 6/8/06 2:45 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: the WHY ME question
My stomach sank a bit when reading thru that thread too. I have said this before to Donna but just because I am pregnant now does not mean that I am completly healed from the scars of IF. In all honesty, I don't think I ever will be. (sorry random babble)
I hope you all know that I tihnk of youall daily and I hope and pray that there will be quite a few graduates from here next month
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| Posted 6/8/06 3:59 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by DebG
My stomach sank a bit when reading thru that thread too. I have said this before to Donna but just because I am pregnant now does not mean that I am completly healed from the scars of IF. In all honesty, I don't think I ever will be. (sorry random babble)
I hope you all know that I tihnk of youall daily and I hope and pray that there will be quite a few graduates from here next month
Deb I am sure you have asked yourself this question many times..... I think of you often too, and hope you are doing well.
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| Posted 6/8/06 4:34 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by dm24angel
ANyone going through this?
I just stupidly read the PG board poll of how long did it take you to get PG and I think the majority of people got PG within a month or two of trying. This has upset me to NO end tonight.
That is how it SHOULD BE! So why not us?? I just wish I had some answers ya know? Why we were choosen to have to wait and wait.
I read this post too. 
And Yes, I ask myself that question all the time. I have an answer now, or at least one that helps me heal. It's, "Because I was meant to adopt." Sorry all of you have to suffer from infertility. It's not fun at all. I can't wait until all of you have your babies. I think of you all the time.
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| Posted 6/8/06 8:23 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: the WHY ME question
Posted by Donna
Donna, I feel the same way, I have found reading this every once in awhile helps me. Sorry if it's a repost-
---------------------------------------------------
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is GREAT!!! Thank you so much for posting that. I TRULY needed to hear and read just that tonight!
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| Posted 6/8/06 8:54 PM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: the WHY ME question
You're welcome Donna!
And Deb, Kim, Diane, I love that you still post on this board, we've all shared a lot and it's good to share in the good and bad times.
I am so happy for you and I do lurk on PG so I can follow your journey to motherhood 
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| Posted 6/9/06 9:26 AM |
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tjspidur1
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 339 total posts
Name:
Trish
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Re: the WHY ME question
Dear Lord - I am crying at 10am on a Sunday for good reasons I really needed to read that poem and really put life in perspective. I am only at the first stages of IF and I know this is only a means to an end, but sometimes the journey isn't as fun as the destination. :)
Girls - I say go toast tonight with your DH and celebrate what you have learned from one another during this time. While it may seem like a losing fight, I know all I have gained from my DH in my short time here. That and who said that all this extra BD is a bad thing!
Message edited 6/11/2006 10:03:49 AM.
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| Posted 6/11/06 10:00 AM |
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