Delayed Separation Anxiety?

Let me preface this by saying that my 4yo DD has been in daycare since she was under a year, and went to 3yo PreK 5 half days a week last year. She has NEVER cried when I left her, either at daycare or at school last year, before last week. The 4yo program is the same amount of time (5 half days a week) and roughly the same schedule.

Last week, after going to school just fine for the first week, she started freaking out when I left her, and it gets worse and worse each day. Today, it took 2 teachers holding her back for me to get out of the classroom, as she screamed, "Please don't leave me Mommy! I love you! Don't do this to me!" My heart is broken. I could hear her all the way down the hall, even after they closed the door.

This is just not my child... Becky is the little social butterfly, who delights in getting all dolled up, going to school, playing with her friends, making new friends, etc. This is NOT her personality... plus the fact that, to be honest, she is really not all that attached to me... not a Mommy's girls whatsoever.

I know there are a lot of mommies who have separation anxiety experience. Does anyone have any experience for a heartbroken mom?

Re: Delayed Separation Anxiety?

Robbie went through something similar in Kindergarten. He's a Daycare kid since 2 years old and he started Kindergarten just fine... and then in April he just REFUSED to get on the bus one day. I couldn't force him on, so I drove him and almost had to force him in. He sobbed in school at his desk that day and the subsequent 2 days saying he missed me. The school was concerned and asked what might be happening at home that triggered this. He hadn't lost a pet or family member and we could NOT figure it out. I talked to him and reassured him that it was only a little while each day and I'd always be there for him after work. I gave him a picture of me and Rob to take to school and that seemed to cure it for us.

I'd look to see if there is anything that might be causing her anxiety (did she recently hear about a death, were you sick?) and also at school (does she have problems with a classmate? does she dislike her teacher?).

It may just be a phase - talk to her and reassure her and I'm sure she'll get through ti quickly.

Re: Delayed Separation Anxiety?

I just went thru something similar with my DS.....

He just started kindergarten ( has been in pre-k for 2 years)....The first 7 days of school he LOVED it (so much that he was asking to go as soon as he woke up in the morning) ...Suddenly this past Friday he freaked out...Crying from the minute he woke up that he didnt want to go, saying he missed me etc...Outright refused to get on the bus, so he drove him and he was crying hysterical when I brought him in
Cried all week-end long that he didnt want to go back, had the same issue this past Mon & Tues (he got on the bus but was a mess)

I called the teacher thinking "maybe" something happened ( maybe got in trouble etc..) She said nothing at all happened This behavior was completely out of character for my DS...

Now this morning, he got up happy as can be and hopped right on the bus



I still have no idea what happened ( I'm thinking maybe there was a bad dream or something even he can't wrap his head around )

Maybe after a few times of her seeing that you always come back is what she needs to ease her...unfortunately you have to just keep on it as heartbreaking as it is

Re: Delayed Separation Anxiety?

I went through this with DD too this year but she is 3. She was used to the gym daycare since she was 15 months and even went to the same preschool last year.

What worked for me is I put a bracelet on her and told her to look at it if she got so she could remember me (I stole that idea from CathyB..thanks Cathy) and so far it is has worked. She still cries when I leave but the teacher takes her and immediately gets her distracted and it seems to be working. She went from crying for an hour straight down to 2 minutes.