WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

Posted By

Message

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

Name:

WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

Took down in case of lurkers.

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate your input. I think I was unclear that the mom and my relationship exists because we are neighbors with kids the same age. They became good friends first and then we became better friends. Also the bf is not ALWAYS mean to him and my son certainly has times when he is a PITA too.

Not that it matters that much I think the advice is still good. My problem is that my son asks to play with his bf everyday. I think this is going to be so hard for him.

Chat Icon

Thanks again!

Message edited 12/1/2010 8:52:05 AM.

Posted 11/30/10 9:24 PM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

OffWithHerHead23
Keep passing the open windows

Member since 10/06

3627 total posts

Name:
Meaghan

Re: WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

I haven't been in a similar situation, but from my perspective, your first priority is to your child. If his feelings are being hurt by this kid, then the friendship should be over unless the kid's behavior changes. I understand you have a close relationship with the mom, but it seems like because of the fact that you live near each other, your son is getting thrown into situations where he would not choose to be (i.e. carpooling, playing after school, etc) with a kid who is consistently mean to him.

Honestly, I think that if you take a total hiatus from this kid, the two boys will be able to repair their friendship on their own terms, eventually.

Posted 11/30/10 11:18 PM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I think I will have them take a break...but honestly it will be hard because my son always wants to play with him afterschool.

I don't know if I should tell the mother or just let her figure it out.

Posted 12/1/10 12:04 AM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

Posted by twicethefun

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I think I will have them take a break...but honestly it will be hard because my son always wants to play with him afterschool.

I don't know if I should tell the mother or just let her figure it out.

I dont think you have to say a word to mom. Think about your own life. Do u confront every person thats mean to you, no. You let them fade as you probably will with this kid. By bringing up the drama of it and how YOU describe mom, I would save the energy. Use the situation as needed. She is helping you in certain aspects of your life anyhow. Dont break a friendship with her just bc of 2 kids. Like I said YOU branch him out. Take him to diff places. Initiate playdates with other kids.
_i cant believe last nite i wrote you a whole response and its not here...Ugggghhhh my computer probably went down. basically i said that its up to you to help your son and not worry about the other childs feelings. I have plenty of friends where our children might have drifted but I am very good friends with their moms. It wont matter later on...he will move on.

Message edited 12/1/2010 5:20:11 AM.

Posted 12/1/10 5:17 AM

Forum Mail Edit Post Print Quote Reply

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD? friend trouble..sorry so long, but advice really needed. Please help

Posted by PrincessP

Posted by twicethefun

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I think I will have them take a break...but honestly it will be hard because my son always wants to play with him afterschool.

I don't know if I should tell the mother or just let her figure it out.

I dont think you have to say a word to mom. Think about your own life. Do u confront every person thats mean to you, no. You let them fade as you probably will with this kid. By bringing up the drama of it and how YOU describe mom, I would save the energy. Use the situation as needed. She is helping you in certain aspects of your life anyhow. Dont break a friendship with her just bc of 2 kids. Like I said YOU branch him out. Take him to diff places. Initiate playdates with other kids.
_i cant believe last nite i wrote you a whole response and its not here...Ugggghhhh my computer probably went down. basically i said that its up to you to help your son and not worry about the other childs feelings. I have plenty of friends where our children might have drifted but I am very good friends with their moms. It wont matter later on...he will move on.

I completely agree with this. Growing up there were friends, friends of my parents' friends, kids I carpooled with. I didn't love everyone.

I would take a page from her book & find some other friends for your son. Friendships change - and they change often in elementary school.

I would set up some playdates with other kids (one on one since your son is a little shy). Ask him who else he wants to play with & then encourage him. I often take the kids to something first as an ice breaker (movie, lasertag, etc.) then they can play the rest of the playdate on their own.

My kids aren't athletic which is why I have him in afterschool actiivites geared towards activities they do like.

I've said it before - I think growing pains are what the parents experience. I remember being hurt over friendships before but it never hurt so much as seeing your child hurt over a friendship. Chat Icon