At what Age....

I was just having this conversation with my ex, he wants to know when it would be ok for our DS who is 10 to be able to come off the school bus and into an empty house by himself.

I work FT and don't get home until 5:30, the school that my son goes to has a childcare program which he goes to.

I had just submitted the bill to my ex and this is why the topic came up. He asked me at what age do I think that it is ok for our son to come home by himself. I couldn't give an answer, to me honestly I don't know if I would ever feel comfortable with DS being home by himself.

Its always a money issue with my ex...

I was just curious as to what other parents think?

Re: At what Age....

I 'think' the legal age for a child to babysit is 13, so with that said, I would use 13 as a guideline to let my child stay home by alone.

I think 10 is still too young. I think back, and when I was 12, in 6th grade, my mom let me stay home alone for short periods of time. But at 11, in 5th grade, I don't think I would have wanted to be home alone.

Not sure if that helps.

Re: At what Age....

I'm not a parent, but I think it depends on the child. I started this, once in awhile when I was 12 or 13. That seems really young to me now.
However, isn't there also a law about what age a child can be in the house alone? I always thought it was 14 for some reason.

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I would say 12 or 13 depending on how responsible the child was.

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10 seems to young for me. I agree with PP!

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I would Def say 13.... 10 is still too young for me.

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I realize it all depends upon the child's maturity level...my biggest fear would be having him walk home from the bus alone..the bus would drop him off around the corner from the house. I would be afraid of lurkers.

My EX can complain all he wants, but until I feel comfortable he will have to stay at school.

Re: At what Age....

I'm not a parent but 10 seems very young, especially since it's more than just an hour on his own. I don't know that there's a magic number though- you just have to know your kid and how mature they are. At 13 I started commuting on the subway to school so at that point they figured I was ready to be on my own at home. Though that rarely happened since I have younger siblings.

Re: At what Age....

I started allowing my son to come home alone at 11. He was very responsible so I trusted him and the after school program he was in only went through 5th grade. This year, at 13, I allow him to babysit for my daughter who is 9 after school. I as so nervous at first and would call and check up a lot but I soon realized he was fine. I rarely check up on him now. I still won't leave him home alone at night though. Just makes me nervous to leave him in the dark...

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I was left home alone a lot as a kid, responsible for my younger brother and sister. It seemed normal to me then, because it was what I was used to, and I was VERY mature for my age, but as I've gotten older I've realized that it was NOT ok. They probably started leaving me in charge when i was 8ish (with a 6 year old brother and 3 year old sister!)

My DS is 10, and is very immature. I would not leave him home alone until he shows some maturity... at this rate, he could very well be 17 with a babysitter

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I think 12-13 sounds good!

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I remember distinctly that as a gift for my 10th birthday was a key to the house. I don't think it's too young, but you know your kid better than we all do. Would he comfortable being at home alone or would rather stay in the after school program? Then you have to set a list of ground rules for him if he stays home.

Re: At what Age....

Times are just so different now.

I was probably allowed be go home by myself around that age. But I lived in a small, friendly town and there were tons of parents/kids on my block at all times. I wasn't sitting inside on the computer or watching TV, we were playing.

I guess it depends on the maturity level of the child. I can absolutely see my niece, when she's around 11/12, being allowed to come home by herself. She is very mature and responsible.

Re: At what Age....

I totally agree that it is all about maturity...I feel my son is too immature however his father thinks its all about the age and the money of course.

I was just curious about other people's opinions, until I feel comfortable, my son will be going to childcare, regardless of what his father feels.

Re: At what Age....

Posted by lisa0807

I totally agree that it is all about maturity...I feel my son is too immature however his father thinks its all about the age and the money of course.

I was just curious about other people's opinions, until I feel comfortable, my son will be going to childcare, regardless of what his father feels.

Message edited 12/3/2010 1:47:48 PM.

Re: At what Age....

Posted by familyoffive

I started allowing my son to come home alone at 11. He was very responsible so I trusted him and the after school program he was in only went through 5th grade. This year, at 13, I allow him to babysit for my daughter who is 9 after school. I as so nervous at first and would call and check up a lot but I soon realized he was fine. I rarely check up on him now. I still won't leave him home alone at night though. Just makes me nervous to leave him in the dark...

Re: At what Age....

I was allowed to stay alone after school at 13 (9th grade).

After school, I would have to immediately go home and turn on the porch light. If the light wasn't on by 3pm (I normally got home at 245ish), then my neighbor would call/come over to check on me.

Re: At what Age....

I agree that it depends on the kid.. and the parent.

I'm a nut so my kids will probably need supervision for a good long time. I'd honestly say 15 years old. If they are SUPER mature - then maybe 13-14 with the caveat that it can't be for longer than 2 hours and that they will need to check in multiple times, lock the door, not have any guests, not cook and not answer the door, etc..

Re: At what Age....

Re: At what Age....

both my parents worked FT... and i used to walk home from elem school (about 4 blocks) and into my house alone... maybe 5th grade on... so starting at 9 yrs old... i had to call her when i got in the door.

somehow if i walked in the door and didnt call within 10 min, she always knew!!!!

but i found out when i was about 18 that my mom had friends (spys) along my route that would check in with her at work as i walked past....

i do believe it gives a sense of pride and responsibility which are important things to learn...

Re: At what Age....

I think it's something you grow into when you start seeing that they are somewhat mature & responsible. I can't imagine it now (aged 9). I suspect it's going to be 12-13ish.

I remember thinking I would never let my child on a playdate without me - that is until I was presented with it & it seemed ok.

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Once my child went to middle school as there is no after-care at middle school. She was 11.

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I would say 13. I stayed home much younger, I was babysitting by the time I was 12. But now, it just seems too young.

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My DD started 5th grade at 9. 5th grade in our school does not have b4 and aftercare. At the orientation, the principal actually addressed this and kids having keys to their houses. She said that she realized that alot of kids have keys and the keys should be left in their backpacks and not broadcast to the world that you will be home alone.

Me personally we haven't let my DD come home without someone being here. I think maybe 1 out of 6 of her friends comes home 2 no-one being home. I have changed my hours so i can be here when she gets off the bus. We do have a key though that she knows where it is,, just in case since i do get home about 5 minutes b4 the bus does. So far she hasnt had to use it.

Re: At what Age....

I agree with 12-13.

Funny, I was just thinking of this last night when ET was on. The mom left Gerty alone in the house and she was like 5 or 6. How times have changed!