Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

DH and I have been very much dead set against having children anytime soon... We want to travel freely enjoy us, etc... But one day DH brought up something about having kids and ever since then, I've been thinking about it more and more... We discuss it more openly now... And the more we discuss, the more I get excited about it... Basically, when DH and I had that first inital discussion, it all just seemed to "click" ... I feel like I'm at that point where Im ready to give our all to a child, even if that means putting "us" on the back burner for while... KWIM? To sacrifice to feel that love and joy that a child brings... (Sorry for the sappiness, it must be the holidays... or PMS LOL)

For those TTC or thinking about it, did you have this type of realization as well?

Message edited 12/23/2010 12:44:32 PM.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

I had EXACTLY what you are talking about. We always said at least a year of US- travelling, spending money (saving too), great restaurants essentially enjoying the freedom of being 2.

THEN, it happened. We were on vacay in Hawaii and watching the sunset the topic came up. We were so at peace with the thought of creating a party of 3.

We decided to wait a bit to make sure this is what we wanted and it wasnt' a romantic moment gone bad lol. We are now TTC 3 months after our 1 year anni. I would do nothing different, I'm glad we waiting for that light to go off.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

For me it was a light bulb moment. We knew we wanted kids, and then it went from just not talking about it, to being ok to talk, thinking etc... I also saw people with children traveling and having fun.. so I knew it was definetly doable.

IMO, there is no ideal time because there always a million things you want to do and try.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

I never had a lightbulb moment --- though I think my DH had one a long time ago.

We'd talk about it -- but I was waaaaay too paranoid and apprehensive about what it would mean, and how it would change us.

Part of me knew it was just me being a control freak and hating the idea of change. So the closest thing I could do was tell DH that we could just stop using birth control, and if it happened, then fine. He would always talk about kids and how he wanted one, and I knew I could never do the whole charting, tempting, OPKs, etc. like people who actively TTC.

But part of me thought I was giving him a little something, that wouldn't really happen anyway since docs had told me that me conceiving naturally would probably never happen.

Well many months later, lo and behold, I was pregnant. It was a huge surprise, and once it happened, I was very much happy about it.

It's awesome and scary at the same time, but now that it's happened, I'm very very happy.

Message edited 12/25/2010 11:54:34 PM.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

We have always known we wanted children but later, down the road...

Recently I feel like I got smacked with such an urge, like you describe.

We started trying this month and we are both so excited and feel READY...which I have never felt.

For me it was lightbulb...now I just hope we can get preggo and soon

Message edited 12/23/2010 5:08:55 PM.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

For me it was not a light bulb moment at all. We talked about it well before we got engaged. There is a 7 years difference btw us (Im older) and I know we didnt have the luxury of waiting too long. We agreed on a time frame whether or not we felt ready knowing that if we didnt get started we might wait too long and not be able to.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

Hmm interesting question for the CF board... DH and I are not TTC nor plan to anytime soon...and neither of us ever had a "lighbulb" moment..I guess we def don't have that kind of radar built into us.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

DH was always the one who wanted kids asap. I always thought I wanted kids, but it took me a little time to warm up to it and when I was ready. DH wanted to start trying before we were even married.

I literally woke up one morning, and I had this feeling that it was time. It really was a lightbulb moment! I told DH, and he was very excited, and I went off the pill a few weeks later and we started trying.

I dont really know what changed, but we werent getting any younger, we were married for a year and a half, had a house, jobs, etc. everything was 'in order'

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

We never had the light bulb moment. We knew that we wanted kids & felt that we'd try 2 years into marriage & didn't want to wait very long due to our ages (31 btw)

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

I think for some people, yes it's a sudden realization, but for other people, it's more gradual.
I kinda wish the light bulb would go off for me either YES or NO because I am on the fence & feel like I'll be on the fence forever.

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

I think I gradually have warmed up to it. I never had a lightbulb moment. I'm on the last 3 months of my BC so ask me again in March

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

light bulb moment for me as well... it's been brought up in passing over our years together, but for many reasons it was never the right time. this october we were on a vacation and it got brought up, and it stuck. just like you said, it kept getting brought up, discussed seriously, getting excited about it. i just came off birth control this month. we shall see...

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

gradual/lightbulb combo.

DH and I always wanted kids but always thought of it as some far-off thing that would happen years down the road. I was just talking to DH about how in fall 2009 I was "late" one day (I was always regular down to the hour on the pill) and nearly had a panic attack. I was convinced my life would be over if we got pregnant and we were NOT ready whatsoever. I was so relieved when AF showed. I also used to text DH "you're not a daddy!" every time AF showed.

Over the course of the year to follow baby fever started creeping up - it hit DH first, but eventually hit me a little harder - and we had a talk about TTC. I proposed that I go off the pill a few months into 2011 and start trying in the spring. After our chat we decided I'd go off the pill in January 2011.

Well.. all of a sudden I didn't want to wait anymore so we pushed things up and I went off the pill mid-Oct 2010. Was excited about being off the pill and OK with the idea that a BFP might take a while - we were just winging it. My cycle was super long (with tons of BFN) and I convinced myself I wasn't ovulating and that we had a long road ahead of us and set up a dr appt to take provera to bring on AF. We were utterly shocked when I got a BFP on cd56, first cycle off the pill. We are still shocked to be honest

it's scary how different things are just one year later! you never know, it may hit you and you may move up your start date. (or push it off). you're welcome to FM me if you want to chat

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

DH has baby fever BADLY. I have it too, but the deciding factor of whether to start a family hasn't been a light bulb moment for us. It's more about financial reasons and me trying to get to a certain place in my career that's holding us back from actively trying.

On the other hand, I'm not on BC and we're not actively trying to "prevent" a baby, so we shall see what the future holds since we're somewhere in the middle. LOL

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

Posted by MaZz

Posted by MrsKelly

light bulb moment for me as well... it's been brought up in passing over our years together, but for many reasons it was never the right time. this october we were on a vacation and it got brought up, and it stuck. just like you said, it kept getting brought up, discussed seriously, getting excited about it. i just came off birth control this month. we shall see...

Im so jealous... we decided that we'll start trying in 1 yr... this is going to be the longest yr ever

Re: Do you think making the decision to start a family is a "light bulb moment"?

Posted by jasmine

We were utterly shocked when I got a BFP on cd56, first cycle off the pill. We are still shocked to be honest