Really need help with this strange behavior!

My son constantly touches his privates. When I say constantly, I don't just exaggerate to make a point. It's CONSTANT! He does it when he is thinking about something, when he is nervous, anxious, excited, concentrating on his homework... Basically, whenever there is a strong emotion at hand, which is pretty much all the time... It's crazy!

I used to just joke it off by asking him what he is looking for in there, if he wants to pee. Then I started asking him to stop and he would just to start all over again in a few seconds. I asked him why he does it and he just says "Because I like it" I told him many times that it's OK if he wants to do it IN PRIVATE but never in public, however that argument doesn't work either.

I thought there is something bothering him there, but there is nothing! He actually had a rash there a few months ago but he complained about that very specifically. We went to the doctor, got a cream, everything went away, except for the touching habit.

I don't know what to do. He does it at school, at home, during play dates, during walks... Like I said, any time there is some kind of strong emotion at play his hand immediately goes right there!! I am starting to think that he needs some kind of help...

Anyone dealing with this and has any ideas or advices? I am really rather upset about it and have been for a while. I though it would go away with time but it's not...

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

How old is he?

I think most kids have something they do when they're nervous, bored, tired. For some it is thumbsucking (hello dd), others it could be rubbing their neck (ds), flipping their hair, etc.

Maybe speak to the teacher or the school counselor to see if they have some insight. Unfortunately, I'd say it's pretty common. Maybe you can devise a signal to him as a reminder not to do it (if he's older) & just impress upon him that if he wants to touch his own privates, he needs to do it in the privacy of his own room.

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

He is 5 and a half and in Kindergarden. I am concerned about going to anyone with this, actually. I feel like it could cause issues... I don't even knwo what kind but just because it's his privates it could turn into something...

I keep on telling myself it's pretty common and my friend tells me that her son, my DS's classmate and friend also does it pretty often, but I have NEVER seen anyone do it as often as my son...

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

As a teacher, I can tell you with much certainty that MANY MANY kids have behaviors like this around his age up till about 2nd grade. I see it all the time. I do agree that there should be some sign that can be used with him to call his attention to it and make him stop. But do not feel like there is something wrong with him or that he's doing something totally out of the norm. My guess is he doesn't even realize that he's doing it.

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

I teach 1st grade and I have boys in my class who pretty much do the same that you describe with your DS. They don't even seem to be aware of it most of the time! I usually just say "Hands in your lap" to redirect (I say this all the time, for a variety of reasons!). I realize as a mother it is much more upsetting, but I'm pretty sure it's "normal" and will pass with time.

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

My DS use to do this. To the point of irritating himself. I thought at first it was just the male preoccupation but he is not the type (meaning he has never been obsessed with grabbing it even as a baby unlike my younger son ). I asked him and he actually said it helps him concentrate. It seems to have started in school and then he was doing in other situations, as almost a habit. We got him a gel filled ball that he can squeeze in school if he needs it to concentrate. His teacher said it was OK as long as he was not throwing it around. He is the type to play with his school supplies and such as well and it made sense based on his personality & behaviors over time that he needed some phyical outlet to calm him or help him focus. It's a sensory thing, at least it was for us. He doesn't do it anymore but he was in K & 1st grade at the time this was occurring.

HTH

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

Posted by BaroqueMama

As a teacher, I can tell you with much certainty that MANY MANY kids have behaviors like this around his age up till about 2nd grade. I see it all the time. I do agree that there should be some sign that can be used with him to call his attention to it and make him stop. But do not feel like there is something wrong with him or that he's doing something totally out of the norm. My guess is he doesn't even realize that he's doing it.

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

Thank you so much, girls! I can't tell you how much better I feel reading that as teachers, you see this all the time in your classroom. I was really very concerned, but now, after reading all the replies, I feel like it's not as much of an issue...

Elizabeth, I feel that much like with your son, touching himself helps him concentrate. That's why he always does it when he is thinking about something or trying to figure out a solution to a problem.

I will try the gel ball and see what happens!

Thank you!

Re: Really need help with this strange behavior!

DS hasn't gone through this but other stuff. He started pulling his underwear (like X100 each day) to rub his right eye and, now to cough x1, just a one weird cough. When he was doing his eye thing I went to the doctor and she said it was a nervous thing, and said to ignore it. I have seen that one habit changes for the other and, although I don't like them, I "try" to ignore them. Ds is 5 and I just hope this "tics" end soon