I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Because he'll CHEW my ear off on how it's crazy and can't be good for my body.

Everytime I come home and tell him how far I ran, he tells me the same thing.

I keep telling him I feel FINE, nothing hurts and I'm taking it REALLY slowly but he's unconvinced.

Anyone else's DH this way? How do you deal with it?

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Aw that sucks he is not supportive. When you commit to all that hard work it would be nice to have someone you love tell you what a great accomplishment it is Well thats why you have boards like this, we'll give you support!!!!!!

Can you tell him how you feel? Ask him straight out why he isn't proud of you? Would he ever run with you, maybe getting him to do that would help? Does he work out at all? Is he out of shape and maybe feels a little intimidated by your new level of fitness?

I would probably just sign up for the 1/2 and mention it matter of factly, like its not a big deal to feel him out. Then as it gets closer keep telling him how excited you are, you can't wait, etc etc.

Maybe the more you act like running is just a part of your life now and not a big deal it will break him in and he'll just begin accepting it rather than downplaying or criticizing/minimalizing your hard work. Does he realize that the idea of running being bad for you is absurd??

In any case, keep up the good work!!!!! You are doing an awesome thing for your body (& your mind!) and it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks!!

Message edited 5/7/2011 7:05:23 AM.

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

My DH is not really a runner. He does it occasionally, but just a few miles at a time. When you're not a runner, you don't get it.

Anyway, I think you should just say something like "you know, I'm really getting into running now, I feel awesome after I get home and I can see the results, it's been really making me feel good about myself. Since I've been doing a decent amount of mileage, I was thinking of registering for a half marathon. It would be such a huge accomplishment for me" If his reaction is something along the line of it not being good, you could say that while it does put a strain on the joints, you don't agree with him that it's not good for your body....it is...good for the heart, health, weight, etc. As far as the pain from it, you know well enough to listen to your body and you hope that he can support you with your training because you really want to do it.

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

My DH isn't a runner at all (like PP - a few miles here and there), but he does golf A LOT! So we both support each others endeavors. Does your DH have something like that?

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

I am just wondering if his underlying issue might be that it takes time away from the family. One of my friends has to deal with her DH because he doesn't understand why she would sacrifice family time for running. He's nuts but that's beside the point

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

I just can't believe you're already up to a half! Gears to you, lady!!

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

That should be CHEERS to you, lady!!

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Posted by Lucky

I am just wondering if his underlying issue might be that it takes time away from the family. One of my friends has to deal with her DH because he doesn't understand why she would sacrifice family time for running. He's nuts but that's beside the point

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Posted by Dollface

That should be CHEERS to you, lady!!

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

ugh..really??
the truth is you're doing very good for your body AND mind. i know that for me running is essential for the wellness of my mind and spirit and sure as heck keeps me from being overweight or from having high blood pressure.
if you do a basic training schedule for the half he can be assured you won't injure yourself or spend every moment training as well.
it is true that if you don't run then you truly don't get it. my DH runs so he has supported all of my marathon endeavors thank goodness.
i am sure he'll come around but don't give up and go for it for sure!!

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by Lucky

I am just wondering if his underlying issue might be that it takes time away from the family. One of my friends has to deal with her DH because he doesn't understand why she would sacrifice family time for running. He's nuts but that's beside the point

Yeah, I do think that's part of it... he's a big family man, and I think it may irritate him that I spend so much time away from him after the girls go to sleep. Maybe I can start waking up earlier and train in the morning when everyone is asleep...

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

Are you doing Philly?????

Tell him this:

You only live once, and you want to always challenge yourself. If you get hurt, or run down, well - then that's what happens - but you would rather know you tried than always wonder "what if?"

And - if you are successful, then that will be the reward you DESERVE for putting all that hard work in - and isn't that something you want me to experience, hubby???

Is he really concerned about:

Feeling intimidated that you are doing something he can't?

Spending quality time training?

Something else?

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

I would also tell him that, although he is speaking out of concern, that everytime he tells you you are doing something bad for your body, that it makes you feel bad because you are so proud of yourself. It belittles all of the rewards you KNOW your body is experiencing as a result, and it only discourages you. That would p iss me off. It sounds like he is trying to shoot you in the foot.

ETA - if you tell him you signed up as a mother's day goft for yourself, maybe he'll see how important it is. Maybe you can say as part of the gift, you want his support, or at least for him to keep his thoughts to himself if he won't be supportive.

Message edited 5/8/2011 11:27:35 AM.

Re: I'm afraid to tell DH I am going to register for a 1/2 marathon

My DH is very supportive of my running but he was very concerned when I did my first 1/2 marathon a couple of weeks ago. However, he's not a runner and so he doesn't "get it". When I first started seriously running again, he would make comments here and there about how he didn't want me to get hurt and am I sure I should be running long distances. I finally told him to either say something supportive or say nothing at all. It wasn't until I had to take a break from running for health issues that he saw how much I missed it and really how happy it makes me.

People sometimes don't realize how much their support means to us.
Maybe if you explain that to him, meaning how important it is to you and how much of a positive example you are setting for your girls, he'll understand more?

I think it's awesome you are doing your first half. If I were closer to Philly, I'd love to do that race.

ETA: I do most of my runs in the early morning so that I can still be there for my boys, work, etc. It also gives me an energy boost for the day.

Message edited 5/9/2011 3:56:22 PM.