Frightened of Maternity Leave? What's wrong with me?

Did any of you all go through this? I am not due until the first week of September but I have been getting tingling hip pain at night, my feet/ankles are so swollen, and I have been really tired lately (only getting five hours or so of sleep a night). DH and OBGYN tried encouraging me on Monday to take things down a bit on the job and go on disability before my company maternity leave kicks in. Background: My job is pretty physical.. I am a sales rep and am on my feet literally 8 hours a day in this hot weather carrying a bag with samples of drugs. On days when it is 90 plus degrees out, it has been really tough.

The thing is... I know that they are kind of right but there is something psychological in me that is holding me back from making the final call. I am so scared of letting down my manager by going early, sitting home staring at four walls for the next two months, feeling guilty if I was doing something fun over work during the day, and finally- going back to a different work climate as it will be months before I go back and I will go back as a mother with different responsibilities and ultimately a changed person. I'm just so scared- I am clinging to work and have not looked ahead too much. Did anyone go through this towards the end?

Re: Frightened of Maternity Leave? What's wrong with me?

I went through this. I was severely swollen and pretty much miserable. I was begging them to induce me early b/c I couldn't take it. I ended up going out early and taking some vacation time and honestly it was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. I hung around the house, took care of myself, treated myself to some mani/pedi's, washed the baby's clothes and just enjoyed my last "alone" time.

I know its hard to step away from your job but think of it as doing something for yourself and your health. You'll be glad you did!!!! Remember you need to take care of yourself - you know how to do it best :)

Feel well

Re: Frightened of Maternity Leave? What's wrong with me?

Thanks so much! I really appreciate your response. Just needed to hear that you can keep yourself busy and happy in life after work! (Gasp!)

Re: Frightened of Maternity Leave? What's wrong with me?

I felt this way somewhat too even though I was not even coming back and I didnt even like my job- I always have had a good work ethic though and even before I was pregnant I always would feel guilty when I called in sick even when I was really sick- I dont know why. When I went out on maternity leave 10 days before I had the baby I even felt guilty that I was going to be sitting around and why couldnt I do this at work- But when I finally went out on leave and had the baby I havent given work another thought.