Any Advice NICU moms, please

Our daughters were born on 9/10/11 at 30w4d. Lily is 3lb7.5oz and Alice is 2lb 8oz. When I got to south side on Sat morning with my water broken, we took an ambulance to North Shore.
They were born that evening natural all the way (not on purpose).

They both went to the NICU and were doing well. During a lung scan on Alice they happen to notice a spot in her bowel that had a blockage. Sunday Mid day they took her to Cohens children's hospital for surgery. Things went very well and she is doing as well as can be expected for a 2 day old 30w baby.
Lily is doing great!! Even breathing on her own. We all have a long road ahead of us. We are now home without our babies, they are an hour away and they are separated in different hospitals.

And what keeps going through my head is that my leave will be over before they can even come home.


I need advice and strength.

Message edited 9/12/2011 9:16:08 PM.

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

Awwww lots of and for you and your little ones.
So glad to hear they are doing so well even with their little bumps in the road.

My first advice to you is make sure you take care of yourself!! It is the last thing you will be thinking about but make sure you eat well and rest when you can.

As far as your leave....how long were you planning on taking off....can you go back after you recover from having them and then when they come home go out on leave again?

You will get through this and one day it will be a distant memory

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

I have no advice but it's 1am and I'm lurking and wanted to say I LOVE their names!! Those names are really amazing together!!

I'm glad things are going as well as can be expected at this point.

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

NICU mom here. My were born 32w1d. Luka spent exactly 4 weeks in the NICU (picked him up Sunday night) and Marco is still there

It is emotionally and physically draining. There are no easy answers here, no magic pill I can give you to make it any easier. (wish i could!) I will say, these babies are SO resilient. I have seen miracles. truly. 25 weeker twins born at 1lb just went home

I know its scary but your babies will thrive and like pp said this will all seem like a distant memory. Be kind to yourself, get sleep, lean on friends, family, DH.

I wish you strength, courage and lots of rest

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

congrats on your girls!! i had a NICU singleton at 33w1d, she weighed 3lbs8oz. your babies weights are great for 30 weekers!! we were at LIJ/Cohens NICU. she did great and was out in 3.5 weeks. half of my maternity leave was spent in and out of the NICU. i ended up leaving my job in the end, not by choice. so im a SAHM at least for a little while now.

the NICU days are rough but they go by fast. your girls will be out before you know it!! def make sure you rest and eat and recover!! the NICU is taking great care of them, make sure you take time for yourself too. try not stay for a million hours straight - it's very draining. take breaks and if you are in Cohen's or a NICU that allows visitors, let everyone come and keep you company. That's what got me through the 3.5 weeks that DD was there. It's rough but the girls will do great and gain weight and you will learn a ton of tricks from the nurses. FM if you need anything!! i live walking distance from LIJ so please if you are there let me know if theres anything I can do!! good luck and congrats

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

I have no advice, but wanted to send lots of and

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

Does your job offer disability? You may be able to get extra time and pay thru maternity disability postpartum. Def you can get FMLA. It's the family and medical leave act and it's for 12 weeks unpaid leave and it kicks in after your regular paid leave runs out.. You shouldnt have to go back to work, it's cruel punishment

Message edited 9/14/2011 7:48:38 AM.

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

NICU Mommy here. 30 week old identical twins.

Go back to work asap even with them in the hospital. Save your leave for when they come home. They are in good hands in the hospital.

I went back to work after 2 weeks part time. Best decision I ever made. I worked half a day and spent the other half in the hospital. I would then have to opick up my 13 month old daughter from day care.

Those 6 weeks that were there are a blur but I got through it and so will you. You will be on an emotional rollercoster though.

My twins are in excellent health.

FM me if you need to.

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

Congrats on the arrival of your !

My were born just before I was 32 weeks, and are still in the NICU. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have them in different hospitals.

I hope that its a possibility for you to have them in the same hospital at some point. Is there a hospital social worker you can speak to that can maybe help?

I agree with the suggestion to go back to work when you feel up to it and split your maternity leave time. DH went back to work after 1 week. He didn't really have a choice, but that was for different reasons. He plans to take a couple of weeks off when both babies are home. I am home because I'll be a SAHM but 2 1/2 weeks post partum now after a c-section, and I think I'd feel strong enough to go back when I get to 3 weeks pp.

I have been pumping at home and bring milk with me every day. Its not the same as BFing, but at least they are getting the benefits of the milk. I also like doing it because its pretty much the only maternal thing I can do for them right now.

Also, get your rest - you can't "bank your sleep" but it will help you to recover physically and help you mentally as well.

The biggest thing I have learned in all of this is that NICU babies are the strongest babies there are. My little guys are such strong fighters, I am totally amazed at how far they have come in 2 1/2 weeks.

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

Re: Any Advice NICU moms, please

I'm crashing on this board but I had a 32 weeker in NICU for a month. He was born at Huntington Hospital and spent the majority of his time there. I loved it there. The day we were supposed to go home, the weekend on-call doctor wrongly reported that he had apnea episodes over the weekend (untrue report, but a long story) so our regular neonatologist didn't want to send him home and wanted to transfer him to LIJ/Cohen's. As I was signing all the paperwork (and crying) with the transfer nurse, she told me that we could transfer Brayden back to Huntington for the reminder of his NICU time if he didn't need to be at Cohen's anymore. He stayed at Cohen's for two days and then was sent home after there were no episodes of apnea (no kidding since it never happened as the dr reported). But my point is, I was told they would bring him back to Huntington and it wouldn't be an issue. I would pursue having one of the girls transfered so they are back in the same hospital.

About work- I'm a teacher and I was 4 days short on my sick days to bring me to the end of the school year. I tried to go back for the four days while the baby was in NICU but they wouldn't let me. Told me I was on maternity leave and if I came back I forfeited the rest of my leave because then I was well enough to work and leave is to recover from birth. Biggest crock I ever heard and I knew other people here had done it with no problem but I just wanted to share my experience. Hopefully your job is more understanding then my stupid superintendent!

Also as everyone else has said, NICU is an emotionally and physically exhausting experience. Pace yourself, take one day at a time. There will be good and bad days. Learn as much as you can and advocate for your babies. Good luck! I hope the babies make huge strides and can come home quickly. Hang in there