I was that Mom today

J is a cheerleader and this morning at the game she was a beast, so bad that I picked her up and took her home before the game was even over. She had meltdowns about everything and didnt even want to stand with her team . I am embarrassed and admit a tad angry as I feel she is ALWAYS "that kid", the one who cries about EVERYTHING. I feel like I made the situation worse by being embarrassed and taking her home. I'm crying as I type this..am I really a S U C K Y mom?? but I am SOOO TIRED of not having one day without her nonsense. Then it makes DH and I fight because he criticizes MY behavior and defends hers

Message edited 9/21/2011 1:33:05 PM.

Re: I was that Mom today

We all take our turns at being THAT mom. I don't know the situation but if she was misbehaving, I agree with removing her from the situation.

I know kids act differently for different people. If that means you can set up a car pool with another parent (or have DH take her) & then show up, she may act differently. Talk to the coach & ask what they want you to do in circumstances like that.

But we have ALL been there.

Re: I was that Mom today

Do not feel bad. My dd has ADHD and I have been that mom MANY times.

Re: I was that Mom today

Don't feel bad. I'm "that mom" all the time.

Re: I was that Mom today

I feel your pain.

We all take our turn as THAT mom and when I see someone taking her turn I try to show, in some small way, that I understand what she's feeling and she isn't alone.

Just like YOU are not alone.

Re: I was that Mom today

I like Barbs idea re: someone else taking her and you watching from the sidelines or what-not...ESPECIALLY if she does it for YOU.
My dd used to do this on the soccer field when dh was present. Not crying/whining but running off the field and playing around instead of being a team player. Instead, I would drive her and he would just show up and figure out where to stand and be less noticeable.

Re: I was that Mom today

I can honestly say, I've NEVER been "that mom".....

I've been that dad a lot, though. All last year, DD cried pretty much every soccer game, and pretty much every karate class.

I'm her assistant coach in soccer this year, so we'll see if that helps or makes it worse....

Re: I was that Mom today

Michelle - I'm that parent too. It's always my kid (in singular form or various combos). At least it feels that way. It cannot be true otherwise it's all of our kids all the time (except the ones who NEVER act up) So what I mean is it's a feeling more than a fact....except it feels like I have every single day with BS too. I know for me, I'm also the bad guy in the house, DH is more laid back and doesn't police them like I do. It's frustrating. IMO not being on the same page with DH on how to handle her could be a bigger source of your feelings. When we are not on the same page, he gets mad at me, I get mad at him, I get angrier & more frustrated with the kids than I would be if we were on the same page, I get emotional and it just spirals...and nothing changes with kids, KWIM? When we are communicating and trying to come to an agreement on the various issues, I don't feel so alone and overwhelmed, like I'm flying blind. Does that make sense? Don't feel bad for a second about leaving with her. In the moment if it felt like the best thing, as another Mom, I could never see anything wrong with that. It probably was the best thing. I feel bad that you are that upset bc I know you are a good Mom, we are always so hard on ourselves. FM me if you want.

Re: I was that Mom today

Message edited 9/18/2011 11:09:30 PM.

Re: I was that Mom today

I am THAT mom more often then I like to admit. What has helped in regards to sports is we just ignore the bad behavior and let the coach's deal with it. They listen to them better then to us when they get all whiney. Or the coach just ignores the whining and they stop. Might help to talk to the coach and see what she suggests. Ours told us to not engage the kids that when they are on the field he will deal with them and it has really helped.

I am sure most people didn't even notice.

Re: I was that Mom today

Thanks everyone

Re: I was that Mom today

I could have written your post word for word about my 10yr old. It is hard, all I have to offer is ((hugs)). I have yet to figure it all out

Re: I was that Mom today

we are all THAT mom sometimes

Re: I was that Mom today

You know from experience I have been that mom. I cannot take that behavior either. I think what you did is correct and would not be tolerated.

I know for a fact you are a great mother do not worry!!!