Behavior issues with my 5 year old

I'll try to keep this short:
She has been going to full day daycare since a few weeks old. Stopped napping at around 3 or so.
Now she goes to 1/2 day kindergarten with the public school and 1/2 day kindergarten with the daycare. They told us that the kindergarten at the daycare has a nap period. We said that she doesnt nap so could she do her public school homework during that time. No problem.
For the past two weeks she has been falling alseep at nap time. I dont really understand why, she sleeps from 8pm - 6:30 most days. I wouldnt mind EXCEPT - she is so awful now when she comes home. I dont know if it is school related, nap related or what.
She picks fights with me and her brother, fights with us about dinner, bath, homework, wants us to do everything for her, like getting her dresse, and other things that she has been doing on her own 2 years now.
We have a star chart and she hasnt earned 1 star yet. Any advice, insight?

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

For the sleeping part, I think kindergarten was a tough transition for most kids - even daycare. More mentally stimulating, more exhausting. I think some kids want to go back to the time in their lives when they were younger & didn't have school (some adults do too) so you would see some regression. Sitting down to do homework when I got home (6ish) was a nightmare but later it becomes more routine. Hearing it's normal may not be what you want to hear.

With the star chart, if she hasn't earned one star, you need to adjust the goals. She has to have a sense of success in order for it to be successful.

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

That helps, Barbara. Thanks

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

I agree with Barb. I think a lot of it is typical for a new kindergartener. I know my DD has been a beast, too. She goes to full day kindergarten and while she doesn't have a nap time, she is just unruly when we get home and isn't listening. I am hearing from other moms I know that it seems to be the age.
We also do a reward type system and I had to readjust the goals, like Barb said. Start small, like a star if she goes and gets her things to get dressed, even if you have to dress her. Then move it up to a star if she dresses herself after a while, etc.

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

I also agree with the other posters. Kindergarten is a hard adjustment. It's a long day. My DD would come home every day exhausted and hungry, and would usually have a breakdiwn before her backpack was off her shoulder's. 1st grade has been a big improvement - Although she comes home starving!

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

Emily is in 1st grade and she STILL comes home tired and cranky and beast-like after school.

There are days where she drops her backpack at the door, kicks her shoes off and goes right for the couch and doesn't want to move at all for like the first 45 minutes!

Meanwhile I'm trying to get her to start homework, have a snack, so I can get some time to make dinner. It drives me nuts!

We have a behavior system set up too, except ours is a jar with marbles. If she yells at me (which seems to be her thing ) she looses a marble. She needs to have a certain number of marbles to do fun things on the weekend, etc.

I am waiting for the day when she comes home chipper, excited about her day, acting like my normal child! Sometimes I don't know if it is ever going to happen!

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

Erica thank you so much for posting this. I am going thru a similar experience, however mine is with my 4 yr old & full day Pre-k (Catholic school)

Love the responses, now to get working on the reward chart!

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

You are not alone. My son has been regressing as well. All of a sudden he forgets how to get dressed or go to the bathroom alone. He definitely fights me on everything and it all has to be on his terms. He's adjusting to the routine but I can see how he would want to go back to simpler days. I need to work on my reward chart as I have been slacking.

Re: Behavior issues with my 5 year old

OMG i thought I was the only one!!!!
DS all of a sudden fights me over:

-sleeping in his bed(was the best sleeper)
-growing up bc he 'wants to be a toys r us kid and not become a big boy'
-going to the bathroom alone
-doing anything independent

IRONICALLY he was the pickiest eater in the entire world and since kindergarten started, he eats full meals with vegetables (!) and meats(!!)..