Working Moms

My DD started Kindergarten this year and I have been inundated with volunteer requests from school. On top of that, DD's class has a "Star" of the week, which includes a visit from that student's parent and I just got a notice about the Halloween parade. I can't take my lunch at a different time or leave work without taking personal time, etc.
How do you handle all of these requests? I don't want my DD to feel like she is the only one without a parent there...

Re: Working Moms

I have the same problem, but with THREE children! I send grandma, an aunt or someone else. I tried to save my personal days for my kids, but between the 3 of them I use all my sick days every single year :(

Re: Working Moms

I never miss the big things:

birthday (if we are invited in, sometimes we are not)
Star of the Week
concerts
plays

The other stuff (field day, Halloween parade etc), the stuff that's on a much larger scale and involves multiple classes or grades and has less parent/child interaction I just send Daddy or explain that while we would love to be there for eveything, it just isn't possible.

Over time my kids have learned to understand that we do the best we can. My older son (7 years old) is awesome about taking it in stride. My younger son (6) is more sensitive but he doesn't have meltdowns or freak out. This is just how our life/family works and they get it.

Re: Working Moms

I save my days.

My job has also a sort of a "comp time" thing too. If I want to take half a day for a school activity, I need to "earn" those hours. Therefore I don't take a whole or half a day for i.

It worked well. I still have 5 days left at this point (and they don't give us a ton either)

Maybe your job could do similar?

Re: Working Moms

I try an go to everything, which ends up making me crazy. Especially since it's usually easier for my husband to go and she is just as happy. But I get upset about missing it.

My work is sometimes flexible, sometimes I just sneak out. But I know what you mean, I just got a notice for the book fair next wed, from 12:20-12:50. They "invite and encourage" you to come shopping for books with your child

Re: Working Moms

I save my days or send a grandparent. If your company allows 1/2 vacation days that helps tremendously.

Re: Working Moms

I do things on my lunch hour like teacher conferences and star of the week. We don't have a Halloween parade at our school so I don't have to worry about that. If I volunteer, it is for things at night.

Re: Working Moms

DH WAH, so that helps, but he can't always get away if there is a conference call.

Grandparents help A LOT!

Sometimes I'm lucky and the time of the event coincides with my lunch or my travel time between two buildings and I just pop over for a moment to be seen and go.

Re: Working Moms

My job is pretty flexible, unless have a client call or need to travel. Even when I know I have to travel, I can schedule it around my personal schedule since sometimes DH has work commitments.

In addition to my vacation/sick time, they give a total of 16 hours a year for 'school related leave' with a minimum of 2 hours.

My inlaws also help out sometimes, which is very helpful

Re: Working Moms

I send someone in my place, but nonetheless someone is representing our family with DS. I plan on doing Star of the Week, Conference day, and Mystery Reader, but everthing else will have to be a compromise. I just don't have the time to take.

Re: Working Moms

When my DD was in K I felt so overwhelmed with all the events and parent involvement. They had parties for every holiday and other random things in addition to field trips, 1/2 days, teacher confereneces, bithday, star of the week ect.... I was able take my personal time in hours so I could attend these events but it was a strech. I will say that after K the parent involvement slows down a little and is a bit easier to manage. My younger DD starts K next year and I am already mentally trying to budget out my time off LOL

Re: Working Moms

It's hard. I know. It breaks my heart to miss anything. Last year was kindergarten & SO hard because I started my FT job in November. I didn't have vacation time for 6 months.... MAY. I missed everything.

This year, I went to her teacher at back to school night & asked about events that I might want to be at so I can arrange vacation time in advance. I was lucky to be able to take Halloween off so I can make the parade. DD has a "student of the week" too. I found out her week is in November & have already arranged the day with her teacher that I will come in & celebrate. I hate that it all has to be so scheduled, but at least it allows me to make *some* of the special events.

It's going to get tougher when DS (2.5 now) gets to elementary & theres TWO to make special events for.

Re: Working Moms

Omg do you live in long beach bc I've just gotten the same notices last week! I feel so guilty bc I am in my last year of my college degree/professional license and I work on sunday so I am always barely catching up! I made DH take off on halloween to go and be the parent volunteer. He's actually very excited ab it.