What has helped you ladies?

I am trying to figure out the healthiest way to deal with this. I was wondering what you ladies have done to help you get through your loss.

I feel like it hits me in waves. I could be fine for hours and then just break down.

Message edited 12/23/2011 7:38:22 AM.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

I'm so sorry for your loss. For me being able to talk about it was so important. This board and some online groups really helped me a lot.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

I honestly don't know what I would've done without this board. It helped me soooo much. I felt like no one in my "offline" life "got it". But, talking to women who have been in my shoes was very comforting.
I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Re: What has helped you ladies?

The board def helped me. After a few days of feeling down and sorry for myself I started exercising and re-focus. Kept my self busy with my 2 children and my home and friends. I just kept moving forward didnt let the depression sink in any further then it already has.

Sorry your going through this and hope you feel better real soon

Re: What has helped you ladies?

Writing and talking about it has helped. The worst of it was when I was on bed rest because I am an active person. Once I got the A-ok to exercise again, it boosted my spirits up so much. I do yoga and it is very therapeutic for me. Also my DH has been an amazing support.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

talking about it with people who have been there before and knew how I felt. It made me feel less alone. It was hard for me to talk to people who didn't know what I was going through because as much as they felt bad they really didn't understand.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

Talking about it rather than hiding what happened, the wonderful ladies on here who let me know I was not alone in what I was feeling, and once cleared by the doctor I went back to running. Made getting a personal best at my favorite race my new goal until I was allowed to start TTC again.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

This board... talking to other people who have gone through the same thing... and ultimately, time!

Re: What has helped you ladies?

Posted by StaceyWill

I honestly don't know what I would've done without this board. It helped me soooo much. I felt like no one in my "offline" life "got it". But, talking to women who have been in my shoes was very comforting.
I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Re: What has helped you ladies?

So far, definitely this board, and talking to my friends about it. Originally I didn't want to tell anyone, but I find the more people I have to talk about it, the easier it is for me. What's more interesting is I just told a friend last night and she has another friend (that I've met a handful of times) who recently went through a m/c too. Unfortunately she hasn't talked to anyone, and doesn't know anyone who's been through it. I told my friend that if this girl needed to chat to call me, because well, I get it.

So while for me it's great having people understand me and hear me out, it's also *bittersweet* to me to know that I can understand what all of you and others who have been there are going through.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

I agree with PP that talking about it has been helpful to me. Helped in the beginning stages b/c if I was going to break down or needed to get my mind off of it, my friends and family were aware. Plus, when deciding to try again it helped to have that support system in place.
I also think that surrounding yourself with positive people is key. You don't need a bunch of negative people around when you are so fragile.
And finally, although so cliche, time. I found that not putting a time limit on dealing with things has helped. I always knew that whenever I decided to try again, I needed to be emotionally ready. For me, part of being emotionally ready to try again also included being 100% comfortable with the doctors I chose and also having any testing that I felt needed to be done prior to getting pregnant again.

Re: What has helped you ladies?

For starters, this board has helped me. It has helped me so much once in a while when I feel like I need to talk to someone who understands. However, I do find that when I sign on and look at the TTC and Pregnancy boards, it does not at all help so I only come on when I feel I want to, not to looky-loo.

I'm sitting here trying to re-write what I want to say and none of it is coming out right. It helps me a bit not to hide it. It helps slightly to be open but not tell everyone and not necessarily tell the whole story. It's hard to explain but not to stay hidden, necessarily.

Also, focusing on me and my overall health, not just my empty womb. That helps.

It would be much easier to write a list of what doesn't help but in the sake of being positive, here you go.