Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

On Christmas day we told my in laws our news, and that we are "cautiously optimistic"... they were excited (they've never known when I've actually been pregnant, only when I'm not anymore). They were excited, but I guess I had hoped for more of a reaction than we got, since this was their first time of us ever sharing while things seem ok.
When I mentioned it to DH, he told me we're like the boy who cried wolf.. and he's right. I'm like the girl that screams Pregnant. We've been pregnant so many times already...

We haven't even told my family yet. They all went away for the holiday. They all know when my transfer was, yet none of them have asked how I'm feeling,or if we have any news yet. It's like they don't want to know. The day I got our first positive (which I only mentioned to DH), SIL mentioned that she just wanted to let me know that if it worked this time, she wasn't going to get excited right away (maybe she said "as excited" right away)...
I guess I'm just venting. I have been doing my best to not allow myself to get attached to this possibility of it actually working this time, which quite honestly is impossible, because I'm already attached... I guess I just wish I felt like they were more supportive... Vent over.
Those of you who have had losses... does anyone else feel this way? It's bothering me a lot more than I thought it would...

Message edited 12/26/2011 4:21:59 PM.

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

I felt like that the with my last pregnancy... and even with the triplets. I felt like people knew I had a history of loss, so they weren't as excited for us. It wasn't so much my family (my family was always very optimistic.. so much so that it made ME nervous) .. but mostly some friends and coworkers. It came to a point where sometimes people would say things which led me to believe they didn't actually expect me to either get pregnant or not have a loss.. Maybe it was just me being hyper-sensitive.. but then when we had this past loss someone said to me .. "well, I wasn't so surprised because I knew it happened before.. " ...

I feel like people have just come to expect bad news, just as I have...

Anyway the important thing to remember is nothing that anyone says, does, or thinks, will impact the outcome of this pregnancy. They can think what they want or think you are the "girl who screamed pregnancy" .. and you could go on to have the most amazing stress free pregnancy and deliver in 9 months!! I know it's easy for me to say.. but try not to let those comments get to you.. I know how it is.. though.. trust me, I know!

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

yeah .. when i got pg this time there were some who were reallllly excited but some who were like....okay! lets keep our fingers crossed!

while it sounds nice.... its NEVER how you want any pregnancy to be introduced kwim?


i literally heard whispers to others that i " am still early... lets see how it goes"

which of course made me freak more.

i dont know ..i wanted the hallmark...omg!!! with people jumping and clapping and crying.


maybe i will get that when this kid is born

but i definately hear you.

and imo its not that you are the girl that cried wolf.
bc you have been pregnant. the girl that cried wolf would be someone who screamed i just know i am pregnant even before a hpt or beta , over and over again.

but i think people just dont know how to handle things when there is known history of loss.
the whole if thing sucks for sure!
i pray all continues to go well for you!!!
hugssss xoxoxojenn

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

Youre not crying wolf. You are pregnant! Its just that people are scared and they dont know how to handle it. I know exactly how you feel because my dh had the same reaction when i first poas this time around. I was jumping up and down and he said, well lets see how this goes. Of course he was right and i realized it after the betas but its messed up that we have to be brought down to reality every.single.second. unfortunately, i think its perfectly natural for them to have those feelings, butu should try to focus on all the good things- your rising betas and seeing the heartbeat soon! Step by step.

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

I only had one loss but the when I got pregnant after that loss it was very anti-climatic... like no one wanted to recognize the pregnancy because it might happen again. There were no joyous exclamations or anything - I can't even explain it. But as things progressed, the excitement came back. It just took a lot longer than the first time.

I can imagine why you're feeling that way even though I have never been in your shoes.. and I can imagine how upsetting it is for you to have that feeling.
All I can say is hang in there. They will come around.
And congratulations because this is the first time I am reading this! *I* am very excited for you!

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

Thanks girls. I'm glad someone understands me. I indirectly told my mom today... though didn't use the "p" word. Just mentioned some appointments that I had scheduled, that she knows I wouldn't have needed to schedule unless there was a positive outcome. She wasn't her usual self about it... there was no excitement... it was just very cut & dry. Oh well, I am just going to suck it up and be glad that I have you girls to be supportive.
Hopefully if things work out, in time, they'll start to come around to the idea that this could possibly work... and maybe then I'll get to see some of the excitement that I hoped for...

Re: Feeling like the boy who cried wolf...

totally crashing here (came on to see what this new board is all about!)

first - congrats!!!!
second - my sister had more IVF's than I can count - like more than 10. I can tell you that after her transfers, I personally was afraid to ask (after the first couple of times) because I didn't want to upset her incase her beta was negative.