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What a night...

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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

What a night...

So last night had to be the worst night ever. I watched my SIL kids, one is 3 and the other is 17 months. My Nicholas would have been 13 months old, so watching the 17 month old has always been difficult, but not this rough. Last night we had to put the kids to bed. I had to actually sit in my little nephew's room and rock him to sleep. I just rocked him and cried and cried. Knowing that my Nicholas would be roughly the same size and weight, laying his little head on my shoulder falling asleep like my nephew was, was more than I could take. And this not getting pregnant thing just really took its toll.

I guess I just needed some moral support and hugs -- and a place to vent. Thanks for reading...

Posted 8/12/06 11:59 AM
 
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MamaNDaddyof3
:)

Member since 5/05

7267 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: What a night...

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I am so sorry
What happen to your son (if you dont mind me asking)

Posted 8/12/06 12:14 PM
 

BigB
C & J are 10!

Member since 6/05

5914 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: What a night...

Oh Lauren, you were very brave for doing this! My hat is off to you!

There will be another child in your future! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/12/06 12:22 PM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15952 total posts

Name:

Re: What a night...

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I'm sorry. The loss of your son was enough but it can be torturous how every day life events can bring you back to your lossChat Icon

Posted 8/12/06 12:32 PM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: What a night...

Posted by MamaNDaddyof2

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I am so sorry
What happen to your son (if you dont mind me asking)



Thanks everyone.

My son was diagnosed with Truncus Arteriosus (a heart condition) when I was about 23 weeks. I ended up giving birth to him at 36 weeks and he was stillborn. I was induced and he just couldn't take the labor. He was born on 7/10/05.

Posted 8/12/06 1:49 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: What a night...

IM SO SO SORRY! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I SO understand unfortunatly. My BF had her little girl a day after My daughters due date. I was asked to be her godmother and I remember the day of her christening, my Best friend asked me to Dress her alone myself, it was her way of trying to give me something. Needless to say I cant even talk about it now without tears ...I have never cried so hard and even now YEARS later, I look at her and my heart hearts so bad for what I could have had.

BUt all we can do I have learned is move forward, its the ONLY thing we can control.

YES, we can be sad, thats expected, but remember....Nothing will change what has happened to us...to you....All we can do is look to the future to when IT WILL be us with our babies putting them to bed....When the memoory of what we lost will be bittersweet instead of such intense raw pain.

I truly understand how horrible it musthave been and will continue to be for you.

PLEASE talk about it. As I told you my intial response to my loss was to shut down completly. Now ALL I DO is talk about Noelle, my daughter. I dont care who likes it, whos uncomfortable...If they care about ME, they will allow it. And once you start expressing it, other people become more comfortable.

I hope maybe you can share with others how hard it was to put your nephew to sleep , how it made you feel.

The more you talk, the less power the pain has over you.

I cant give you enough hugs. Losing a baby goes against everything we know is natural in life and its the longest hardest adjustement .....I hope you feel ok to vent and talk openly here, we can help you or just give you some hugs...

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Posted 8/12/06 2:38 PM
 

LIBOUND
Texting king

Member since 10/05

5289 total posts

Name:
Suzy

Re: What a night...

I'm really sorry. I also appreciate these boards for this reason. Vent, scream, cry all you want over here.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/12/06 4:12 PM
 

angel7
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/06

775 total posts

Name:

Re: What a night...

So Sorry. I can't imagine how hard it was for you but just wish you all the best and a BFP really soon!!!

Posted 8/12/06 7:45 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: What a night...

Chat Icon I am truly sorry. I can't even imagine the pain..I really mean that. I can't imagine it and it is just sooo unfair.
No matter what, he was your son and always will be. Grief is a VERY long process. I am sorry this weekend was so hard.
What this a medical malpractice?

Posted 8/12/06 9:23 PM
 

Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥

Member since 5/06

28918 total posts

Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™

Re: What a night...

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Posted 8/12/06 10:37 PM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: What a night...

I am so sorry, I also cannot begin to imagine your pain. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/13/06 9:13 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30683 total posts

Name:
D

Re: What a night...

Im so sorryChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/13/06 9:48 AM
 

LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

Member since 5/05

13199 total posts

Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: What a night...

I am so sorry Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/13/06 9:49 AM
 

Jenziba
?

Member since 5/05

6265 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: What a night...

Lauren...I'm so sorry...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I totally understand and I know how hard that it was for you and I know what it's like to hold a baby in your arms and wish it were your own...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I'm actually crying writing this to you because I feel your pain and I hope one day VERY SOON...we get to rock our own babies to sleep...

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Posted 8/13/06 11:13 PM
 

rose825
Best Friends

Member since 6/05

10228 total posts

Name:

Re: What a night...

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Posted 8/14/06 6:30 AM
 

sylvester
LIF Infant

Member since 10/05

325 total posts

Name:
Rosanna

Re: What a night...

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Posted 8/14/06 7:33 AM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: What a night...

Posted by dm24angel



I cant give you enough hugs. Losing a baby goes against everything we know is natural in life and its the longest hardest adjustement .....I hope you feel ok to vent and talk openly here, we can help you or just give you some hugs...

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



Thanks so much. It's a terrible thing we have in common, but at least we have this place to talk about it where ppl understand. You're right, the only answer is we need to move on and go on with life. We could all use a BFP!

Posted 8/14/06 7:48 AM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: What a night...

Posted by fjbaby

Lauren...I'm so sorry...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I totally understand and I know how hard that it was for you and I know what it's like to hold a baby in your arms and wish it were your own...Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I'm actually crying writing this to you because I feel your pain and I hope one day VERY SOON...we get to rock our own babies to sleep...

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I know you feel it too, thanks for listening and for the hugs. Hugs to you too!

Posted 8/14/06 7:49 AM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: What a night...

Posted by michele31

Chat Icon I am truly sorry. I can't even imagine the pain..I really mean that. I can't imagine it and it is just sooo unfair.
No matter what, he was your son and always will be. Grief is a VERY long process. I am sorry this weekend was so hard.
What this a medical malpractice?



Thank you all so much for your hugs and replies. It's nice to have a place to vent.

I wonder myself if it was a medical malpractice, but the doctors had such a good story about it, I have no idea. I haven't bothered to try to look into it.

Posted 8/14/06 7:50 AM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: What a night...


You should consider looking into why you were induced vs. a c/s...and this is coming from me (if you knew me you would know I almost never think a c/s is better than a v-birth)... but in this case I think you should consider speaking to a few people. It isn't about money but if the doctors truly made a stupid call then this could save another women from the same stupid call.

Posted 8/14/06 10:31 AM
 

jennifaaaa
Live..Love..Laugh!

Member since 5/05

1207 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: What a night...

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Posted 8/14/06 11:04 AM
 

krashnburn
I am Batman!

Member since 5/05

4093 total posts

Name:
I'm Batman, I tell you!

Re: What a night...

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Posted 8/14/06 12:05 PM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: What a night...

Posted by michele31


You should consider looking into why you were induced vs. a c/s...and this is coming from me (if you knew me you would know I almost never think a c/s is better than a v-birth)... but in this case I think you should consider speaking to a few people. It isn't about money but if the doctors truly made a stupid call then this could save another women from the same stupid call.



You're right, and what's scary is I ended up with a c/s anyway, after a day and a half of labor. They kept saying that they wouldn't do a c/s because they didn't want to jeopardize me having another child, sometimes the uterus can rupture. I had an entire slew of doctors that weren't my regular doctor, so at my 6 week check-up I asked the doctor what he thought and he said they made the correct decision, which is why I really never pursued anything.

Posted 8/14/06 1:58 PM
 
 

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