Hopefully the last doctor's visit *UPDATED*

This ectopic pregnancy has truly been the most drawn out process of my life.

In the attempt to save my fallopian tube I chose the shot of methotrexate on NOVEMBER 18th. Three months later I am still going to the doctor bi-weekly to have blood drawn because my levels are taking forever to go down.

Last month I even got my period (but it wasn't a normal cycle) and my levels were still at 49. I'm on my period again right now and I just went to the doctor this morning for what I hope will be my last time.

As weird as this may sound, sometimes I wish I had a miscarriage instead. Not that one is less painful to deal with than the other, but I just really want my body back to normal and be able to start trying again. I don't understand how I can be pregnant for 5 weeks and then spend the next 12 weeks losing it. Unreal.

Thanks for letting me vent.

****UPDATE*****

So the doctor called me this morning and my levels are finally at ZERO! One small hurdle down. They said I can wait one more cycle and then try again. I'm relieved and nervous at the same time.

Thank you again ladies for the support, it means so much to me.

Message edited 2/17/2012 11:14:26 AM.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

I know EXACTLY what you mean... mine didnt take that long but going back for betas constantly was really annoying... i actually stopped when my beta was at around 100... i hated my dr and i just never went back.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

Thanks Ang, I knew you could relate! The worse is when you go and there are so many women pregnant in the waiting room, and the last thing I want is to be bitter or angry for someone's blessing.

One time this lady had just came out from getting her 3D images and there was a dad with an infant waiting. They started sparking up a convo and she showed him her pictures. And I guess because I was the only other person sitting there with them, she didn't want me to feel left out, so she say's "Do you want to see them". I was genuinely happy to see the pictures, but the worse part was when I handed them back to her, she says, "Do you have any children?"

Ughh, I wanted to cry on the spot.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

Posted by EnV-McC

Thanks Ang, I knew you could relate! The worse is when you go and there are so many women pregnant in the waiting room, and the last thing I want is to be bitter or angry for someone's blessing.

One time this lady had just came out from getting her 3D images and there was a dad with an infant waiting. They started sparking up a convo and she showed him her pictures. And I guess because I was the only other person sitting there with them, she didn't want me to feel left out, so she say's "Do you want to see them". I was genuinely happy to see the pictures, but the worse part was when I handed them back to her, she says, "Do you have any children?"

Ughh, I wanted to cry on the spot.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

Message edited 2/16/2012 4:59:16 PM.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

I'm basically in a a similar boat, but mine was not ectopic. We found out about our loss on December 23rd and I'm still going for weekly beta checks.... so a 'normal' miscarriage isn't much better.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

Oh wow, I never knew it took that long for levels to go down with a miscarriage. Sorry for assuming . I've seen people on here and in real life who have had miscarriages after my ectopic and they are already back TTC or at least starting the healing process of regulating their cycle. Not that I'm not happy for them, but I've been thinking, "when the h e l l am I'm going to be put out of my misery with this experience". It's hard to move on when your body is still holding on (I know I'm singing to the choir).

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit

I know how you feel, it took me 10 weeks for my beta to go down AND for the bleeding to stop. How fun bleeding was for 10 weeks, I am anemic now because of it. On top of it I had to pay almost $1,000 worth of doctors copays and ER visits. Just more crap to deal with when I was already going through enough. You are not alone! I was at the doctor today and there were 3 pregnant women in the waiting room. Every time I go I want to cry.

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit *UPDATED*

So glad your levels are at 0. Waiting for your body to go back to normal is so hard. For me when my levels went down I felt like I could finally process things and move forward a bit. I hope it is the same for you..

Re: Hopefully the last doctor's visit *UPDATED*

glad they got to zero