Am I doing too much?

I'm 28 weeks and feel pretty good for the most part aside from being tired, back pain and pressure when I don't sit enough. I'm checked at the doctor every one to two weeks. I just feel like I don't have a choice but to clean, cook, foodshop ect. I have a toddler who I chase after all day and cart to and from classes and even go to a sports class with him were I have to participate I'm still doing laundry, food shopping, cooking, cleaning/vacumming. I wish I had more help from my family but I don't My mom and grandma will come on the weekends and help out, clean ect but it's just not enough. They both work full time during the week and are not 5 minutes away so they don't stop in during the week to help. By the end of the day I'm so beat and always feel like a pushed it but since all checks out good I really can't imagine slowing down. My husband works 15 hour days literally and just does not have time to help me. If it was up to him he would just say leave everything, don't go crazy with cleaning ect but that is much easier said then done. Another one of his solutions is dropping my toddler off at his mothers house for the day whenever I want but she lives 45 minutes away and just in gas and driving that seems like more annoying to me then anything else. I wish I had family 5 minutes away that could stop in and out during the week, run a vacuum, food shop, cook here and there or fold some clothes but I don't and/or they are working or busy. I can't even imagine if I had to be on bedrest bc I don't know what I would do!!! I guess this is more of a vent then anything else but honestly is it okay that I continue like this or do I need to start limiting myself big time??? Hiring a cleaning person or someone to help me with my son is not an option right now. Any adivice!!!???

Re: Am I doing too much?

I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will share my experience.
I was checked weekly from 20w on. Everything looked GREAT!!! I was off for the summer. I was not taking it easy, but I wasnt pushing it either. suddenly at 27 weeks I was put on bedrest with a shortened cervix. I had my babies at 30 weeks and they spent 6 weeks in the hospital.
It was really hard to watch my house fall apart around me while I was on bedrest, but at that point I couldnt do anything about it. I do wish I had taken it easier, my girls might not have such a long hospital stay.

Good Luck!!!

Re: Am I doing too much?

Message edited 9/21/2012 8:48:27 PM.

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It sounds like you are doing a lot. Unfortunately you won't really know if it's too much until it's too late. I was having dh bring laundry baskets for me to put on and not lifting much. I'd run errands, cook my own dinner (he works), vacuum, mop, left bathrooms to dh. And BAM! Bedrest at 26 weeks. I've gone on modified but I'm back on strict now at almost 33 weeks.

I wanted to get a cleaning lady although we really don't have money for one but dh has been spending his days off doing housework. He usually works 12 hr days at least plus takes care of yard work and all. (which makes me feel terrible that he's doing everything)

Are there any friends who can help you with ds? Sometimes you need to ask for help. This has been the hardest for me because I'm used to doing everything myself and I have being needy. I'm lucky to have family nearby who can help and run to the grocery store for me and I also don't have a DC to care for.

But if you can slow down a bit now you can avoid bedrest.

Re: Am I doing too much?

i was checked every week after 25w, i was doing great. closed cervix, felt great, even had energy and was not too big so I wasnt even at the uncomfortable stage yet. at 31 weeks my water broke out of nowhere, i was actually checked at my high risk two days before and was told i looked great. i delievered them early via emergency c section and they spent 4 weeks in NICU. the saddest most hopeless feeling in the world is leaving that hospital without your babies. please try to rest.

Am I doing too much?

oh wow, now im scared! im only 24 weeks but was just saying today how great i feel and how i am still able to do everything and chase after a toddler. i dont really know anyone who has had a multiple birth so i didnt realize how quickly things can change....guess i should start listening to people when they say to take it easy!!

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Also,I would get cramps earlier if I did much and they would warn me to slow down.

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Thanks for all you replies..I am convinced I need to slow down!!! I have had some breakdowns the last few days that have been very emotional and my toddler is really wearing me down. I have a house party to host tomorrow but after that I am DONE!!! I will be laying around as much as possible and if my house gets messy so be it. This is really going to be hard for me bc in the morning I feel pretty good and I think alright..let me just run the vacuum or scrub the floors or go to the food store ect. But..from all you responses I think the key is to slow down before you have no choice.

I still have to bring my toddler to and from a few classes a week and travel 45 minutes for doctor appts so I'm hoping that's okay.

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Maybe break up your cleaning to one task a day. Of course there will always be things that need to be dne each day. Use paper plates, cups, etc to cut down on dishes too.

Before bedrest I'd vacuume my upstairs floors one day the. The downstairs the next. Or vacuume one day and stem mop the next. Or skip it and sweep and swifter wet it. My house wasn't bad but then again it's just the two of us. My house is always a disaster now (to me) because although dh will vacuume and stem mop, he leaves clutter mess. Lol. It bothers me less now than it did at first. And I'm having a cleaning lady come in at least once before I come home from the hospital so I don't have to deal. Lol

Am I doing too much?

I'm 29 weeks now myself. I still clean, cook, go to work and go shopping. The difference is that i have to take breaks every half hour or so. My left foot keeps swelling up too, but it goes down when I put it up. I try to break things up so I am not overwhelmed in a day. I stopped bending awhile ago, so some of my cleaning isn't so hot. Oh well....

I totally refuse to sit around like a lump, so I do things in little spurts and I get help with laundry whenever I can. Maybe you can do less than you have been, and make your resting time quality time with your son. I snuggle with the dog or make phone calls on my breaks. Do what you can while you can, but keep your body's energy focused on keeping babies in as long as possible. I don't think your Dr. would argue w/that

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I was in a very similar situation. I had a 2 year old, a husband who worked 70+ hrs a week and very little help while i was pregnant with my twins.

I went out of work (i worked part time) around 28-30 weeks, i can't remember exactly. But i continued to do everything at home. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, chasing after my 2 yr old etc. Around 30 weeks I started to realize I should slow down a little bit. But it was hard, especially with a toddler.
I was still very active up until and including halloween that year when i took my son trick or treating, visiting grandparents etc. The weekend after halloween i started to get bad headaches and just felt off. That mondday i was admitted to the hospital with signs of pre eclampsia and my twins were born on thursday at 35w.


I would do what you need to for your son and try not to stress all the other stuff!

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Jen you need to try to just leave everything! Obviously you can't do that with your son, but cleaning and cooking should not be your concern right now, order take out and don't look at the laundry piling up, you only have a few more weeks and then you can go back to being super mom ;) . Try to make little lists for anyone that comes on the weekend and offers a helping hand. Use peapod too! And maybe your son can stay with your MIL for a night? That way the drive to her house will be worth it and he can get some special grandma time. The way the doc explained it to me is at this point we are incubators for these babies and that is our only job! How did the party go BTW? I hope everyone there helped you a lot! Happy Birthday to your big boy!

Message edited 9/24/2012 9:16:38 AM.

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You all have definitely convinced me to slow down and gave me some good tips! I am actually going to drop my son off for a night at grandmas this weekend (bc i have a wedding) but normally I would go out of my way to pick him up or have them come to me. Instead I figured I can use a break! I also am going to save the errands for the weekens for when I have help. LAstly, I'll continute to do house work but with lots of breaks and maybe on one thing a day. I already told my family I am not doing Thanksgiving either lol!