I did something that I regret yesterday

My Dr. finally called with the results from the D&C. Everything came back ok- nothing bad which I guess is good but also no reason as to way I lost the baby.

So while he was talking I stupidly asked if they were able to tell the gender. He said you and asked if I wanted to know and I decided I did.

It would have been a little girl. I feel like this pain is never ending I think it was better not knowing.

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

It's really so hard ... I knew the gender of my first baby since we were further along, but when we lost my triplets, I asked the gender (they only test one sample so I wouldn't know the genders of all 3)

I'm sorry you are going through this It's only human nature to be curious and ask... For what it's worth, if they tell you it was a genetically normal female it's possible it could have been a sample of YOUR tissue that was tested instead. That's what I was told when they said at least one of my triplets was a healthy baby girl

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I am so very sorry. I was very early when I had my mc but if given the opportunity I know I would have been curious and I would have asked as well. Sending you many hugs

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

i'm sorry. i think i would have done the same thing. it's normal to want to know.

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I am so sorry- I know how you feel when I found out the gender after my D&C

It was a girl

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I am really sorry for your loss...

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I am so sorry

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I'm so sorry...

My grandmother had a miscarriage at around 16 weeks...she was devastated. She asked the doctors to please not tell her the gender, she was just so upset over the whole thing. The nun (there were nuns at the time assisting births) in her room told her it was a boy. I guess she didn't know that my grandmother didn't want to be told. They were devastated..it wouldn't have been any easier knowing it was a girl but I guess my grandfather just would have been over the moon for a son.

They went on to have 4 boys and 4 girls

She just recently told me this story after I lost my baby. She said that now she is happy she knew. She just said that at the time it was so hard. But now, it gives her a strange peace knowing it was a little boy. She said it helps to think of him, light candles for him at church and she is happy to have known and she still thinks of him often after all these years.

I don't know if that story helps at all, but I wanted to share it...here is to blessed times ahead for you

Re: I did something that I regret yesterday

I am so sorry for your loss I have had three miscarriages. They didn't test the first time but they did the last two times. I honestly cannot ask for the genders right now as I think it would break me in two...but I do hope to one day be strong enough to find out as I think it will help me with the grieving process.


Give yourself some time and maybe in time knowing the gender may help you with your grieving process.

I am so sorry you are going through this