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How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
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How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
It is just me and DS.
Our days start at 7am, school drop off at 8:15, then I run to the city for work. DS goes to latchkey, and I have a sitter pick him up so I can get my hours in at work.
We get home at 7:30 and I feel like I yell and DS whines through the entire hour until he goes to bed
We eat fast, don't sleep enough. It sucks and I don't know how to fix it.
Any suggestions?
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Posted 10/17/13 9:02 PM  |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Honestly that sounds very stressful for both of you. How old is your son? Can you get a sitter to pick him and bring him home right after school til you get home? Have you considered looking for a job where you aren't gone that long?
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| Posted 10/17/13 10:16 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Wow that is a super long day...I feel awful for you both. I agree that if a sitter could pick him up and take him home to your house at least it would give him some time to unwind, play with this toys et so that when you get home he is relaxed so it would not be so stressful for you.
Can I ask why you have to work such long hours? or is there a very long commute? I feel so sad that so many families are so stressed during the week trying to juggle work and kids..and feel eternally grateful that I have a job that allows me to work from home.
I hope you can find a solution as that sounds like a very stressful situation for you both
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| Posted 10/17/13 10:29 PM |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
I was a single mom so I can relate. My son has a pretty severe learning disability so school and homework was a big challenge for both of us.
I needed to work long days with a long commute to support us as well.
When my son was really little I actually lived with my best friend, she's my sons godmother and she works from home. She was there to put my son on the bus and get him started on homework in the afternoon.
I was a great arrangement for both of us, we lived in a beautiful rental condo that neither of us could have afforded on our own.
When my son was a little older my friend moved into the city and my son and I moved to a school district that was better with special Ed. I found a woman and her mom that provided before and after care in their home in our new school district. Instead of my son being wiped out from such a long day at school he would take the bus to their house. They would do homework, feed him some days, he'd have time to relax then we would go home.
It was a great arrangement.
When Brian was a little older, I partnered with other single moms to share the driving to get our kids to their activities.
Sometimes being a single, working mom means you have to think outside the box to create a network of people that can help you. it's too hard to do it all yourself!
Good luck!
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| Posted 10/18/13 8:25 AM |
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
A sitter is not an option beyond the sitter I use now after latchkey, I can't afford it and my ex doesn't pay CS or anything else.
In my field, I don't think working not in Manhattan will work. My job is actually amazing with me, working with my hours, etc. so that is one thing that I don't really want to change
We just moved, so I can't really move again, and moving closer to family isn't really an option at least until the end of the school year.
KellyFG, I would love to find friends like that! Its so hard, I am like the odd bird.
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| Posted 10/18/13 10:21 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Posted by Straightarrow
A sitter is not an option beyond the sitter I use now after latchkey, I can't afford it and my ex doesn't pay CS or anything else.
In my field, I don't think working not in Manhattan will work. My job is actually amazing with me, working with my hours, etc. so that is one thing that I don't really want to change
We just moved, so I can't really move again, and moving closer to family isn't really an option at least until the end of the school year.
KellyFG, I would love to find friends like that! Its so hard, I am like the odd bird.
You may not be able to change jobs or move or change sitters NOW, but IMO something has to give and you should be planning towards it. Have a goal for a year from now.
I am a single mom of 2. What has gotten me through these last 3 years is a short commute, sticking to my hours, and the afterschool program in the school that helps with homework. Even with all of this there are some days where we are all so stressed and tired from our long days and evenings! The hw and school pressure increases. Household responsibilites increase. I have to take care of myself too and don't want my kids to be stressed, they need to be kids.
What do you mean that your job is good with your hours? It doesn't sound like you have much flexibility being out of the house for over 12 hours each day?
FM if you would like, I'm happy to help more....
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| Posted 10/18/13 11:04 AM |
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Posted by stinger
Posted by Straightarrow
A sitter is not an option beyond the sitter I use now after latchkey, I can't afford it and my ex doesn't pay CS or anything else.
In my field, I don't think working not in Manhattan will work. My job is actually amazing with me, working with my hours, etc. so that is one thing that I don't really want to change
We just moved, so I can't really move again, and moving closer to family isn't really an option at least until the end of the school year.
KellyFG, I would love to find friends like that! Its so hard, I am like the odd bird.
You may not be able to change jobs or move or change sitters NOW, but IMO something has to give and you should be planning towards it. Have a goal for a year from now.
I am a single mom of 2. What has gotten me through these last 3 years is a short commute, sticking to my hours, and the afterschool program in the school that helps with homework. Even with all of this there are some days where we are all so stressed and tired from our long days and evenings! The hw and school pressure increases. Household responsibilites increase. I have to take care of myself too and don't want my kids to be stressed, they need to be kids.
What do you mean that your job is good with your hours? It doesn't sound like you have much flexibility being out of the house for over 12 hours each day?
FM if you would like, I'm happy to help more....
I can only move so far, as per my divorce.
He does do homework at his afterschool problem, we'd probably both be in tears if we had to do all of his homework.
I don't have a car at the moment (causality of my divorce), so we take a cab to school and I take the bus to work in the city. I leave the house at 7:45 for school and its an hour commute to work, so I am here by 9:15. I have slid my hours all over the place in the last 5 years I've worked here, they also are very generous with taking time off for school related things and have basically supported me through literally the worst day of my life. Honestly, leaving my job is not an option I will even consider.
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| Posted 10/18/13 11:31 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by stinger
Posted by Straightarrow
A sitter is not an option beyond the sitter I use now after latchkey, I can't afford it and my ex doesn't pay CS or anything else.
In my field, I don't think working not in Manhattan will work. My job is actually amazing with me, working with my hours, etc. so that is one thing that I don't really want to change
We just moved, so I can't really move again, and moving closer to family isn't really an option at least until the end of the school year.
KellyFG, I would love to find friends like that! Its so hard, I am like the odd bird.
You may not be able to change jobs or move or change sitters NOW, but IMO something has to give and you should be planning towards it. Have a goal for a year from now.
I am a single mom of 2. What has gotten me through these last 3 years is a short commute, sticking to my hours, and the afterschool program in the school that helps with homework. Even with all of this there are some days where we are all so stressed and tired from our long days and evenings! The hw and school pressure increases. Household responsibilites increase. I have to take care of myself too and don't want my kids to be stressed, they need to be kids.
What do you mean that your job is good with your hours? It doesn't sound like you have much flexibility being out of the house for over 12 hours each day?
FM if you would like, I'm happy to help more....
I can only move so far, as per my divorce.
He does do homework at his afterschool problem, we'd probably both be in tears if we had to do all of his homework.
I don't have a car at the moment (causality of my divorce), so we take a cab to school and I take the bus to work in the city. I leave the house at 7:45 for school and its an hour commute to work, so I am here by 9:15. I have slid my hours all over the place in the last 5 years I've worked here, they also are very generous with taking time off for school related things and have basically supported me through literally the worst day of my life. Honestly, leaving my job is not an option I will even consider.
I hear you. So, it's one day at a time, plus a little planning on the weekends for the work/school week. You are literally in survival mode, doing it almost all on your own and truth is to answer your original question, you CANNOT do it all, don't expect to. Prioritize, and don't do/plan/commit to anything that isn't necessary. Just take care of yourself and your son til something gives a little (and that could be so many things, his age, childcare, your ex, your job, where you live, etc). 
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| Posted 10/18/13 12:06 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Just wanted to give some
I agree with everyone who said to take it one day at a time. Don't stress about getting a bunch of stuff done during the week and do what you can on the weekends to make the upcoming week easier. Sounds like your DC might be a little older, get him to pitch in by maybe packing his own lunch or getting breakfast.
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| Posted 10/18/13 12:27 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
I have to say, I give you a ton of credit. I'm not a single mom, but I do have to work. I'm up every morning by 6:45 to get DD ready for the 7:25 am bus pick-up. Then I get ready for work, and often don't get home until 6PM. Then I cook dinner. We eat @ 7PM, then it's homework and bedtime. She gets picked up by DH very close to 6PM, and then get home around 6:30. This entire week I haven't gotten home before 6:45PM
So, we eat fast, I yell, and she definitely doesn't get enough sleep. We even heard about the lack of sleep today during parent/teacher conference.
So - hang in there mom. You're doing a great job.
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| Posted 10/25/13 9:13 PM |
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Re: How do you get it all done in a day? Kind of a vent
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I have to say, I give you a ton of credit. I'm not a single mom, but I do have to work. I'm up every morning by 6:45 to get DD ready for the 7:25 am bus pick-up. Then I get ready for work, and often don't get home until 6PM. Then I cook dinner. We eat @ 7PM, then it's homework and bedtime. She gets picked up by DH very close to 6PM, and then get home around 6:30. This entire week I haven't gotten home before 6:45PM
So, we eat fast, I yell, and she definitely doesn't get enough sleep. We even heard about the lack of sleep today during parent/teacher conference.
So - hang in there mom. You're doing a great job.
Thanks
And I did laugh at 'I yell' b.c I am always yelling lol
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| Posted 10/26/13 2:31 PM |
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