Help with very "immature" 4 year old

My DS is 4 and will be 5 in late summer. His preK teacher spoke to me today about how he is very immature in many ways. Socially he is great, gets along well with his peers, resolves conflicts and is "popular". However, we are having some academic issues that his teacher attributes to immaturity. He barely recognizes all the letters, he can only write his name etc. and just overall he whines and complains about doing anything academic. Also, he gets very nervous about being wrong.

I am worried about him starting Kindergarten. Any advice? My DD was completely different and was writing words and sentences at this age (misspelled obviously).

Please provide some guidance

Help with very

your son sounds exactly like mine and i don't see a problem or have heard a problem. he can only write his name, and poorly. he has no interest in reading or writing but can point out all the letters in a word. i think at this age theres too many things for them to focus on and theyre choosing what to focus on. i really wouldn't worry about it. does he get a DIAL assessment for kindergarten? i'd let the professionals tell you if something is wrong.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

This was my child at that age. Give him time, there was a huge difference in my son's maturity from 4 to 5. It seemed to happen over night. At that age my son could write his name, recognize some numbers and but couldn't write any.

He wouldn't focus or pay attention at the daycare he was enrolled in. At 5 he was a lot more mature and right now he is thriving in Kindergarten. You will see a difference in the next coming months and maybe there will be a slight adjustment because he is a boy but your ds should be ok.

My son actually started school at 4 and it was an adjustment for him with the first few weeks being tough. However, since your DS will be 5 when he starts Kindergarten, I think he will be fine.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

Posted by Jugglemom

My DS is 4 and will be 5 in late summer. His preK teacher spoke to me today about how he is very immature in many ways. Socially he is great, gets along well with his peers, resolves conflicts and is "popular". However, we are having some academic issues that his teacher attributes to immaturity. He barely recognizes all the letters, he can only write his name etc. and just overall he whines and complains about doing anything academic. Also, he gets very nervous about being wrong.

I am worried about him starting Kindergarten. Any advice? My DD was completely different and was writing words and sentences at this age (misspelled obviously).

Please provide some guidance

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

In my eyes, 4 is still a baby. He's fine and will get there. My hubby is almost 41...and I'm still waiting.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

I think there is a wide range of normal for kids that age. I notice a big difference amongst my 4 year old and friends kid's who are the same age. Your ds sounds perfectly normal to me. There are still 3 months of the school year left and 6 months until kindergarten starts

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

Posted by twicethefun

Posted by Jugglemom

My DS is 4 and will be 5 in late summer. His preK teacher spoke to me today about how he is very immature in many ways. Socially he is great, gets along well with his peers, resolves conflicts and is "popular". However, we are having some academic issues that his teacher attributes to immaturity. He barely recognizes all the letters, he can only write his name etc. and just overall he whines and complains about doing anything academic. Also, he gets very nervous about being wrong.

I am worried about him starting Kindergarten. Any advice? My DD was completely different and was writing words and sentences at this age (misspelled obviously).

Please provide some guidance

I'd get him a new teacher. He sounds developmentally appropriate. My kids both went to kindergarten to learn their letters. They both started far below the others in this area, but both are now above grade level readers.

Does your son understand story structure? Comprehend stories read to him? Can he dictate a story that makes some sort of sense? Sequence a plot into beginning middle and an end? Make up a story through pretend play? Complete puzzles? Figure out patterns? This is developmentally appropriate for a four year old.

Does your son go to a preschool or a daycare? Just curious.

I am a teacher btw.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

Posted by MrsFlatbread

In my eyes, 4 is still a baby. He's fine and will get there. My hubby is almost 41...and I'm still waiting.

Help with very

AJ's bday is LATE summer and by the time she went to kinder she knew her letters but could only spell her name.. BARELY. no other words and definitely no sentences. However she was a wiz kid with math.

Kinder is catch up. She now is writing sentences about books she's read. By the end of the year she'll be telling you main ideas and context!

EVERYONE has topics they are stronger at than others.

For AJ words and spelling was not it. Math and shapes were. Hell I still can't spell well!

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

I think 4 to 5 makes a big difference in boys. It was like a switch flipped the week after DS turned 5 in terms of maturity. And despite that, sometimes we still go backwards. I also try not to compare him to other kids. He's in Pre K and we had our conference about a month ago. The teacher said he's on 1st grade level for the majority of things. Whatever the heck that means LOL. While I shared this with a few people, I don't tell people with kids his age because I know that's just going to trigger a mommy war. Every kid is different and mine struggles with things his cousins younger than him have mastered. As a mother I think your gut guides you when you need to worry and follow up on certain things too.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

I have heard from so many moms and teachers that Kindergarten is catch up time. A kindergarten teacher once told me that her job was to get everyone close to the same level by the end of the school year and more times than not was successful doing so.

I wouldn't stress. I would be happy he is socially adapted. I think that is one of the more important things to master before Kindergarten.

Help with very

Kindergarten is where kids really grow with their skills. Pre K is really supposed to be just that. PRE kindergarten. Not kindergarten. He has the skills he needs so when he enters K he's not completely starting from scratch.

Again, I feel with the changes in education, more and more is expected of kids at younger and younger ages. The stuff kids do in preK are what used to be done in kindergarten.

Once upon a time, there was still nap time in K!

10 years ago, when I first started consulting in schools, K had center time. This was not academic time. This was full on play time. With toys. For 40 minutes. It was grueling for the kids I consulted on, but the other students loved this time, and needed it.

4, 5, and 6 year olds haven't changed in the last 20 years, but since education has, all of a sudden completely normal little kids are being looked at like they have "problems" which I cannot stand. It's difficult enough for kids who truly have disabilities.

Eventually, what's going to happen when no kid can keep up with an ever changing curriculum? Is every kid going to be labeled as "immature"?

Are "mature" 4 year olds an expectation now??? Because I find that very sad.

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

Re: Help with very "immature" 4 year old

He is 4, I wouldnt worry that he cant write sentences yet. He sounds right where he should be. The teacher sounds like an idiot.