| Posted By |
Message |
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
we got her 6w progress report card. Its a 9week cycle.
I'm not 100% disappointed in her. But I'm not totally happy either. I know she can do better but she's easily distracted right now by the stuff she knows. Things she does not know she does very well in. Things she thinks she knows, not so much.
So she's got As and Bs. 50/50 split between them. Her Bs are in reading, science and the Arts. Her As are in Social Studies, Math and Spelling.
I tried to be positive but felt myself saying "Why do you have Bs at all?!"
Meanwhile, last night she came home on top of her class for the day, did all her work, turned away her friends, got noticed for being diligent with her work and we rewarded her handsomely for it.
She got to paint a wall in our house with sample colors LOL she was happy!
Talk me off my Tiger Mom ledge.
|
Posted 10/7/14 1:03 PM  |
| |
|
2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Did you actually say to her "Why do you have Bs at all?"
Isnt she in K or 1st?
Personally, I think if she is working as hard as you say she is, then I think a little positive reinforcement instead of being hard on her (especially at her age) and focusing on the "bad", which really, are not "bad". They are B's.
Maybe, look at the areas she isnt doing AS WELL and instead of talking down to her about not doing well ENOUGH, sit down with her and work on them as a team. Read more together, guided reading where she takes the lead but you help if she gets stuck.
There seems to be WAY more positive than negative (again, a B). Not everyone is A+ strong in everything.
I think being that hard on her now, is going to discourage her down the line.
Honestly, I feel bad for her, based on the information provided in the post.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 1:22 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
NO I would never say why not all A's
I thankfully have that self control. I was disappointed in myself for thinking at all that I expected all As
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:01 PM |
| |
|
HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
B"s are not bad! You should be giving her positive reinforcement to encourage her. Not negative feedback on anything less than an A. That's too much pressure on such a young child.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:03 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Im also trying hard not to rip the teacher's head off... She got a 70 for not completing an assignment and a 76 for incomplete and only getting ONE answer wrong on an assignment. Plus the 86 she got on a short vs long vowel work because out of 7 pictures she rushed and put one photo down wrong.. so she got an 86. Plus she only gets 96 on her spelling test because she forgot a period at the end of a sentence and the other time forgot to capitalize the start of one of the sentences (out of two) but she gets all 5 words right plus the 5 extra words!
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:03 PM |
| |
|
busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
I agree, not every student is going to excel at every subject. And frankly, I don't see anything wrong with A's and B's. Having two kids that are older, 15 and 12, I reward them for trying their best regardless of the grade. If I don't see effort being put in, that's where I have a problem and we need to talk. But if they are trying really hard, studying and putting full effort in, and get an 80, I will still reward them. "Hey, you tried really hard and I'm proud of you for that".
I think you're putting an awful lot of pressure on her so young. Rewarding her for turning away her friends is also not something I'm keen on. School is also about building relationships that will last a lifetime.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:05 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
ok so I sit with her every day and review her work and ask questions praise her 100s and As and only briefly talk about the Bs. We discuss each of her 70s to find out what happened. I also ask for explanation and give tips to avoid "incomplete" and "finish" meaning she didn't do it in the time allowed.
We have app homework
We have written homework (which I have devised a way out of this)
We have math homework
Reading to me homework
Reading to her homework
Spelling words every week including previous weeks.
She has lost her TV privileges due to the incompletes, but no strong words, just very sorry but you can't have TV and not finish your work.
So this is a progress report and she has 3 weeks to keep or improve (hopefully not ruin) her grades.
I am trying to teach her what grades even mean. We showed her a chart of 100 and levels of high and low but I don't want to turn her off to a 70 either.
OMG I am so confused.
I told her last night great job but really focused a LOT more attention on her fantastic day she had. She finished everything on time and told her friend "Give me 10mins" so she could concentrate. Both the teacher and I rewarded her for making that right choice. So last night was more about the day than the grades.
Since she's not failing I saw not reason to really focus on them but inside I'm thinking "OH come ON, you can do better than this!" and both directing it at her and her teacher.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:09 PM |
| |
|
HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Posted by Xelindrya
Im also trying hard not to rip the teacher's head off... She got a 70 for not completing an assignment and a 76 for incomplete and only getting ONE answer wrong on an assignment. Plus the 86 she got on a short vs long vowel work because out of 7 pictures she rushed and put one photo down wrong.. so she got an 86. Plus she only gets 96 on her spelling test because she forgot a period at the end of a sentence and the other time forgot to capitalize the start of one of the sentences (out of two) but she gets all 5 words right plus the 5 extra words!
I can see where you're coming from but I think what the teacher is trying to do is teach the children not to make careless mistakes. Personally, I would rather the teacher be reinforcing things like punctuation and correct writing skills than to say "well, this is just a spelling test and she spelled it all correct so I'm going to ignore the other blatant mistakes". By penalizing her for her mistakes she's teaching her to always double check her work if she wants to get full credit. I think that's a significant lesson that needs to be learned at a young age.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:09 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by Xelindrya
Im also trying hard not to rip the teacher's head off... She got a 70 for not completing an assignment and a 76 for incomplete and only getting ONE answer wrong on an assignment. Plus the 86 she got on a short vs long vowel work because out of 7 pictures she rushed and put one photo down wrong.. so she got an 86. Plus she only gets 96 on her spelling test because she forgot a period at the end of a sentence and the other time forgot to capitalize the start of one of the sentences (out of two) but she gets all 5 words right plus the 5 extra words!
I can see where you're coming from but I think what the teacher is trying to do is teach the children not to make careless mistakes. Personally, I would rather the teacher be reinforcing things like punctuation and correct writing skills than to say "well, this is just a spelling test and she spelled it all correct so I'm going to ignore the other blatant mistakes". By penalizing her for her mistakes she's teaching her to always double check her work if she wants to get full credit. I think that's a significant lesson that needs to be learned at a young age.
OK didn't see it that way.
I feel like spelling was one thing and writing another. Do a spelling exam and do a written exam, not both. But yeah.. I guess I see what you're saying.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 2:28 PM |
| |
|
KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Is she getting incompletes for homework or for schoolwork?
Spelling tests are part of the whole ELA curriculum so they definitely will be grading on capital letters and punctuation as well.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 4:08 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
She got one incomplete for homework the first week because I ignored the request for having her draw a picture with each work plus I did not have her do a piece on her library book (2 can be free written and one must be on their books). So I can't blame her on that. She gets most of her incompletes at school.
I'm not sure about ELA but I recall MLA guide work here but that was in HS.
Like I said, I just didn't think of it that way. It does make sense tho.. said here.
I pushed written work back to school. She's in aftercare from 2:40-6pm and they have an assigned homework period. So they took on that responsibility on their own. I can easily keep her book home but instead I write notes to the tutors on what I want her to write on, free writing, what she did this weekend, or her book. So far its working. And it gives us more time for us when she gets home.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 4:46 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Oh and Math is definitely common core from what I can tell tho they swear its not. *shrug*
I don't mind, she's got a 96 in math. Its the ONLY subject she has yet to receive an incomplete in. She always finishes it first and is generally on target.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 4:47 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
We can kind of be like you too. In DS school they aren't graded As and Bs on their report cards. They get a number 1-4. He gets mostly 3s and 4s. We will get on DS on the occasions he gets a 2. It's just not acceptable.
I'm sure some of you may think we're rough on him, but really we're not. If we thought for a second that that was all he was capable of, then that would be one thing. But most times he gets them are for not following directions in specials. That means he is making poor choices and needs to be more conscientious. We just expect him to do his best always.
We just try to reinforce things at home. We talk about choices and trying to make the right ones. He's not going to be perfect and we don't expect him not to make mistakes along the way. We just try to remind him to slow down and think things through. Not only is that something important for school, but it's an important life lesson for him as well.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 8:56 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
This is the first year that First Grade is getting Grades in this district. Before it was more or less Satisfactory or not.. Now its grades like we are used to. 70 will pass, 69 and below fail. They don't expect any first graders to fail and I know deep down that elementary grades are next to meaningless especially in first grade but it is a lot about setting expectations. Like you said nferrandi.. its not that she doesn't get it, shes just not applying herself. its her lack of effort that disappoints me.
However, two days now in a row she's been better than just good.
|
| Posted 10/7/14 10:12 PM |
| |
|
EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Posted by Xelindrya
This is the first year that First Grade is getting Grades in this district. Before it was more or less Satisfactory or not.. Now its grades like we are used to. 70 will pass, 69 and below fail. They don't expect any first graders to fail and I know deep down that elementary grades are next to meaningless especially in first grade but it is a lot about setting expectations. Like you said nferrandi.. its not that she doesn't get it, shes just not applying herself. its her lack of effort that disappoints me.
However, two days now in a row she's been better than just good.
I agree with some of the other PP's that you're being a bit hard on her. It's only October and 1st grade is a big change from K. Maybe she is applying herself, but there's a lot of changes and distractions she has to get used to.
No need to punish her with turning away friends or taking stuff away. Just the positive reinforcement should help. Not that I know what I'm really talking about yet since DS is in K and has been is special needs class till this year. Anything he does I have been praising bc I'm proud he's really trying. Plus, friends, playing, outdoor sports, some TV and computer time are all important parts of being a well rounded kid too.
Sounds like she's doing better though. Just remember it's still super early.
|
| Posted 10/8/14 8:56 AM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Posted by nferrandi
We can kind of be like you too. In DS school they aren't graded As and Bs on their report cards. They get a number 1-4. He gets mostly 3s and 4s. We will get on DS on the occasions he gets a 2. It's just not acceptable.
I'm sure some of you may think we're rough on him, but really we're not. If we thought for a second that that was all he was capable of, then that would be one thing. But most times he gets them are for not following directions in specials. That means he is making poor choices and needs to be more conscientious. We just expect him to do his best always.
We just try to reinforce things at home. We talk about choices and trying to make the right ones. He's not going to be perfect and we don't expect him not to make mistakes along the way. We just try to remind him to slow down and think things through. Not only is that something important for school, but it's an important life lesson for him as well.
I'm like this too. My son's school gets letters such as S-satisfactory etc. Some kids try their hardest and some kids need to be pushed or motivated, whether bad or good. Last year in Kindergarten, I noticed a bunch of S's (87) on his classwork. My DH thought I was crazy and said those are good. But my gut told me it was because my son wasn't trying his best. Turns out he was talking and not completing the work. I took TV away and had a talk with him. Well wouldn't you know, all E's after that till the end of the year.
I know when he is capable of doing better and when he tried his hardest. This year he did alright on a math quiz but when I got it back to sign, there were some questions blank. He gave me a lame excuse as to why. Again not acceptable and I had a talk with him. However, his religion test he did poorly in but I found out it was because he had a hard time reading the statements to match. In this case I said we will study harder and didnt come down on him because I knew had tried. Spelling test should come back with 100 because so far this is easy for him. It's just certain expectation I have set. He's a smart kid but can get laxed.
Plus this is all helping him for his Terra Nova test, so the more I fix or help him now on the little test the easier the big test will be for him.
I know with DH and I we differ with academics. They are Important to us but DH is more lenient. I know because I was so into school and did so well my expectations can be high where my DH wasn't into school and doesn't push my older SS. So with DS I try to find a middle ground so I don't push him too hard just becuase I was a nerd. Lol
Message edited 10/8/2014 10:32:39 AM.
|
| Posted 10/8/14 10:27 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
I will be honest and was like you up until I saw my now 3rd grader trying so hard, studying and would come home in tears because he only got a 92 or 96. My heart broke right then and there and I realized I put all that pressure on him. 3rd grade is a huge change from 1st and 2nd and as long as we study and he trying and it isn't careless mistakes I am one with 80's too. He seems to be struggling because the curriculum is very fast. Every minute in there day is accounted for. I really do feel bad for the kids.
In our district , starting in Nov. for 3rd graders they have start taking points off spelling tests if there name doesn't have capital letters. It is -2pts for each one. That would make me mad but it does teach them. So while I would be annoyed at the teacher, she is slowly teaching them what will be required of them come the higher grades. It teaches them accountability too.
|
| Posted 10/8/14 1:56 PM |
| |
|
JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
My DD is also in 1st and grade and my first thought is wow that is a lot of grades! We have had 3 spelling tests and 1 math test come home so far.
I don't blame you for being upset about her getting B. I want my DD to understand that the grades she earns are important.
|
| Posted 10/8/14 2:53 PM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Someone snap me out of it.. I've become 'that' mom
Posted by JandJ1224
My DD is also in 1st and grade and my first thought is wow that is a lot of grades! We have had 3 spelling tests and 1 math test come home so far.
I don't blame you for being upset about her getting B. I want my DD to understand that the grades she earns are important.
My DS has had about 15 test come back. On one hand it's good to see how he is doing weekly but on the other hand it's like "Holy Excessive Testing Batman"!
|
| Posted 10/8/14 11:49 PM |
| |
|
