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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11
Member since 5/05 3133 total posts
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Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
This is my eldest child. She has always been extremely strong willed and type A. Every year I keep hoping that the next year will get a bit easier ("maybe when she's 3, maybe when she's four". Now she'll be 7!!) Our dr thinks it's mild ADHD but I'm concerned it's more. Possible oppositional defiance. It's a battle of wills with constant fighting. She's extremely disrespectful. I hate being so negative. She can be very sweet, funny, loving and smart but more often than not, she's arguing something. My parents joke that she's going to be an attorney. She also lacks empathy or doesn't seem to understand what she says is hurtful. My anxiety is through the roof and I feel like throwing up. We've been seeing a social worker but I think it's time for her to go. Any advice or similar experiences? TIA!!
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Posted 10/12/14 1:44 PM  |
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steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!
Member since 5/08 2083 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
My dd is 6 and she's the same way... very disrespectful, talks back, can never just do what asked, just fights me on everything. There are times when she is so sweet n loving but they are not the norm. Sometimes she will tell me she's trying to be good for me and will be and then in a snap will be right back to her usual self. Yet in school or at her friends house she's a perfect angel! It drives me crazy and I'm at my wits end with it. My mom keeps telling me to call the school psychologist but I'm unsure of doing that. So while I have no advice, ur not alone. If u ever want to talk with someone who understands, feel free to fm me.
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| Posted 10/12/14 2:26 PM |
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
DS was like this and we had him evaluated.
He's much better now that he's started K.
The doctor does feel he has ADHD though so we shall see...
Does have some mild sensory issues which also have improved.
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| Posted 10/12/14 3:42 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
My 6 year old son is acting like this, minus the empathy part.
Very fresh, defiant at home with my husband and I. He is great with anyone else: teachers, grandparents, other kids, etc.
I guess he feels comfortable at home, so he lets us have it. Very frustrating, and we are not sure how to handle it.
I never thought adhd or anything like that, since he is fine all day at school. I figured if he had an issue like that, he would have issues elsewhere, not be able to control it.
I feel your pain!!!
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| Posted 10/13/14 9:18 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
Posted by Annie91606
My 6 year old son is acting like this, minus the empathy part.
Very fresh, defiant at home with my husband and I. He is great with anyone else: teachers, grandparents, other kids, etc.
I guess he feels comfortable at home, so he lets us have it. Very frustrating, and we are not sure how to handle it.
I never thought adhd or anything like that, since he is fine all day at school. I figured if he had an issue like that, he would have issues elsewhere, not be able to control it.
I feel your pain!!!
Same here. My 11 yo has been like this from the day she was born. Ive accepted that i cant change her personality and "control" her however the same qualities that make her oppositional are what make her extremely sensitive and emotional. She does not lack empathy. She gets reminded each and everytime she disrespects me thats its wrong. I just dont feed into it by re-acting all of the time. She is also very bright and perceptive/intuitive. I remind myself that our children are "on loan" to us from God and instread of fighting with her I often let her make her own decisions and face consequences. I do have boundaries and limits and rules but i have to make them work for her.
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| Posted 10/13/14 9:39 AM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
Posted by stinger
Posted by Annie91606
My 6 year old son is acting like this, minus the empathy part.
Very fresh, defiant at home with my husband and I. He is great with anyone else: teachers, grandparents, other kids, etc.
I guess he feels comfortable at home, so he lets us have it. Very frustrating, and we are not sure how to handle it.
I never thought adhd or anything like that, since he is fine all day at school. I figured if he had an issue like that, he would have issues elsewhere, not be able to control it.
I feel your pain!!!
Same here. My 11 yo has been like this from the day she was born. Ive accepted that i cant change her personality and "control" her however the same qualities that make her oppositional are what make her extremely sensitive and emotional. She does not lack empathy. She gets reminded each and everytime she disrespects me thats its wrong. I just dont feed into it by re-acting all of the time. She is also very bright and perceptive/intuitive. I remind myself that our children are "on loan" to us from God and instread of fighting with her I often let her make her own decisions and face consequences. I do have boundaries and limits and rules but i have to make them work for her.
This sounds exactly like my son!!! He is very emotional. I was the same way as a child. As I got older and more mature, I learned to manage my feelings better. It sounds like you are handling it very well!!!
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| Posted 10/13/14 2:55 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
My older DS was a beast! I knew from a very young age that something was "off". He was just too difficult and flew off the handle too easily. But much to my surprise, he has gotten better with every passing year. He's still not the easiest kid, he can be super annoying, but he's come a LONG way. With that said, he was diagnosed with ADD Inattentive Type last year.
My suggestion would be to see a pediatric neurologist or a psychologist so you can look further into what is causing her to act like that.
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| Posted 10/14/14 9:11 PM |
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Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
It's important to note if she's like this everywhere or only with you. There's a big difference between the 2 situations...
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| Posted 10/19/14 7:45 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
It's important to note if she's like this everywhere or only with you. There's a big difference between the 2 situations...
In my case, my 6 year old only shows defiance with DH and I. He is wonderful at school, always has been since preschool. He is also respectful and never fresh with coaches, grandparents, babysitters, etc.
What is the difference?
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| Posted 10/19/14 8:21 PM |
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
Posted by Annie91606
Posted by lipglossjunky73
It's important to note if she's like this everywhere or only with you. There's a big difference between the 2 situations...
In my case, my 6 year old only shows defiance with DH and I. He is wonderful at school, always has been since preschool. He is also respectful and never fresh with coaches, grandparents, babysitters, etc.
What is the difference?
If a child has behaviors across the board, it's indicative of a deeper issue (usually).
If it's only in certain situations, it's more behavioral and easier to address.
Message edited 10/19/2014 8:40:01 PM.
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| Posted 10/19/14 8:39 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Annie91606
Posted by lipglossjunky73
It's important to note if she's like this everywhere or only with you. There's a big difference between the 2 situations...
In my case, my 6 year old only shows defiance with DH and I. He is wonderful at school, always has been since preschool. He is also respectful and never fresh with coaches, grandparents, babysitters, etc.
What is the difference?
If a child has behaviors across the board, it's indicative of a deeper issue (usually).
If it's only in certain situations, it's more behavioral and easier to address.
I appreciate your input. I think it is more about him getting a reaction from us. I am trying to change my approach. Are there any books that anyone likes or recommend for dealing with a highly emotional child?
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| Posted 10/19/14 8:45 PM |
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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11
Member since 5/05 3133 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does anybody else have a child who is extremely oppositional, argumentative and seem to lack empathy?
So far it seems to be with us although she has displayed this behavior with extended family and I've seen her be very head strong with her peers. Parent/teacher conferences are next week so we'll see what the teacher says.
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| Posted 10/20/14 5:23 PM |
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