Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

Well 2015 can suck it.

A couple of days ago I was going to post a nice happy "hey guys, guess what, turns out I AM pregnant after all!! All my 'woe is me' sadness turned out to be for nothing because I was pregnant after all, it just took longer for the test to turn positive"....

Til today, when I found out I'm miscarrying, again. I am almost surprised I managed to be so happy and joyful when I tested positive, and felt early pregnancy symptoms, and recorded me telling my husband our happy news so we could one day show it to our child, that I managed to get myself back to that excited place after what happened last time and now I'm going through the same pain all over again. I'm so sick of this. Why does this need to be so hard?

Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

I am so sorry :(. I can only imagine how hard it is to let yourself be happy after a first loss only to have to feel the pain of a miscarriage all over again. I've only had one loss (happened in December) but I totally get being afraid to be happy when you are finally pregnant again. Lots of hugs. Sooo sorry.

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

I'm so sorry! It's hard finding the hope and faith to try again. You grapple with it everyday. To deal with a loss again, I know, is gut wrenching. Many prayers and hugs to you.

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

Thanks ladies. I have done some research and I think my PCOS may be to blame. I am waiting for a call back from my doctors office to discuss whether I can start on a medication that may help in the future.

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

I had 3 back to back losses so I know those feelings so so well. It's horrible. After we saw a heartbeat (loss #2) I put the sono pic in a frame and wrote "baby #2 coming may 2014!" On the frame. I mc the next day. I still have the sono pic in the frame...

I am so so sorry this one didn't work out either. I feel like you lose a lot of innocence after the first loss :(

Message edited 1/8/2015 9:30:35 PM.

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

Oh gosh this just angers my whole being, why does this happen??? I know exactly what you mean. I think back and am angry at myself for feeling happy with this second pregnancy but then I remember how much hope we felt as each day passed and things seem to be getting better and then bam it all goes to sh*t. I'm so SO sorry. Hang in there, our times will eventually come

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

oh man, im so sorry

i am a very positive person, but this is my fear too. afraid that with my next BFP, ill just be waiting every day for a MC to start.

not much to say except i am really sorry and pray for you and all good things!

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

Just thinking of you, hope you're hanging in there

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

Thanks. I'm trying to stay positive after having a dark and angry few days. I just know I will never have a relaxed pregnancy again! I think my pCOS is to blame and I started taking Metformin which I hope will do the trick and make a difference next time around.

Re: Remember my vent? And my 2015 optimism??

So Sorry to hear. i completely understand. I recently had this happen as well. WRote all this stuff, tested on my dh birthday and 2.5 weeks later, lost the baby..sucks.. ive been in much of a funk.. Dont want to get too excited, but we are just so happy in tha tmoment. dont lose it due to history.. i regret not being more excited when i was pregnant with DS, but i was nervous if i got too ecited, id lose him.