So frustrated

Just need a vent

A while back my DH and I froze embryos at the suggestion of my doctors. Due to my medical history they feared I could face infertility issues in the future. I didn't have any issues at the time but we did it and all of our embryos are currently at a lab in NY. Since then we have moved OOS.

Fast forward a few years and we tried for a few months to get pregnant. In order for us to this I had to stop medication I was on and I did not want to be off of it for too long trying, knowing I would have to be off of it for 9 months if it was successful. I got my doctors on board but they decided to watch me closely and I was sent to a RE after 5 months of trying. She ran a slew of tests and it came back that there was very little, to no chance, that I would conceive naturally. I wasn't shocked. This is what we prepared for years ago and I just quickly switched my brain from TTC to IVF. Granted I am upset but in the back of my mind I knew this was coming so I wasn't caught off guard.

The first step in this process is transferring the embryos here so we can start the process. After a bunch of paperwork and tracking down every file I needed from the RE in NY I was finally given the "it is in the final stages of approval" thumbs up. The director of the facility here has to approve it before they can send for a shipper to transfer them OOS. This was in November. NOVEMBER. The woman I was working with who facilitates the shipment told me that if it wasn't approved before Mid December than I would have to wait until after New Years for them to be shipped because they do not do shipments during the holidays. Fine. I waited... and waited. I heard nothing. I called and emailed the woman a bunch of times. She finally got back to me a week ago with a simple "it is still on the directors desk"...

Originally they told me it would take about 2 months from start to finish to transfer them. It will be almost 4 months soon. I am trying to be patient but there has been absolutely no progress since late November and its completely frustrating.

Also, to add.... they know I am sort of on a race against time. The longer we wait, the more medical intervention I need (amongst a few other issues)

When I think about it I get so angry and frustrated that I want to scream. Instead I just push it to the back of mind. I am so not confrontational either so I haven't had the nerve to call them and just demand answers. My husband almost did and I begged him not to... not sure why now.

I realize things take time and I need to have more patience but under the circumstances (it is a long story) the anxiety that comes with waiting.. or even making the decision to go forward with this at all.. is intense

I feel better just getting that out. Thank you if you made it this far

Re: So frustrated

I am so sorry this is happening to you! You must be beyond frustrated and my heart goes out to you. I'm just sending you some hugs and hope that the process moves along quickly and seamlessly in the future.

Re: So frustrated

In all honesty, you have been patient enough. And if you don't have it in you to call your RE in NY to demand an urgency on this; then please allow your husband to do so ASAP.

I get people are busy, but you know what? People are busy; does not and should not be an excuse for things not to GET done.

Sorry; I have no excuse for that.

Please call them!!! Unfortunately; in life, there are many things that will stay stagnant; if you don't give that extra push or "follow up" sorta speak.

Lots of luck to you!

So frustrated

i'm sorry to say this and don't take this the wrong way, but it is one thing to be patient and another to be walked over.
they know your not really "pushing" it at this point and are dragging it along which is no excuse, its actually reprehensible.
Please have your DH call ASAP if you feel you can't

So frustrated

It should never take that long - that's ********. You can go yourself and pick them up directly and drive them to the new clinic if you want. Either the new clinic can lend you a tank or you can return the current clinics. Either way, those are your embryos - you deserve access.

I have moved embryos twice. It should only be 2 weeks of paperwork coordination and done.

Re: So frustrated

Call and speak to a manager.

Re: So frustrated

I'd consult an attorney to write a letter for you.

Re: So frustrated

Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged



In all honesty, you have been patient enough. And if you don't have it in you to call your RE in NY to demand an urgency on this; then please allow your husband to do so ASAP.

I get people are busy, but you know what? People are busy; does not and should not be an excuse for things not to GET done.

Sorry; I have no excuse for that.

Please call them!!! Unfortunately; in life, there are many things that will stay stagnant; if you don't give that extra push or "follow up" sorta speak.

Lots of luck to you!

Re: So frustrated

Re: So frustrated

So frustrated

Another point is: if its the clinic you are starting in that is jerking you around, do you really want to stay there? Do you have other options? You want to work with a clinic that is advocating for you and taking your case seriously, not stalling you.

Re: So frustrated

Re: So frustrated

I want to thank you all for the help & support..

I called and got the coordinators voicemail and I know she's better/ faster with email so I left a message that I was following up and also sent an email (I was forced to be one of those people haha)

I was direct and professional, but demanded answers. I included in the email a timeline of all of our communication (in case I need to forward it on to someone else) and pointed out that I was told on December 17th the "files are on the lab directors desk for review". I asked for an update immediately and also contact information for a manager/ boss.


ETA: I am staring at my email with my heart pounding. I really need to get better at this

Message edited 2/23/2015 4:11:28 PM.