Working Moms

Hi ladies - I am due in November with our first. This past week I started the process of researching child care options. Currently i am leaning towards a daycare center as opposed to a private sitter or in-home center. I am just looking for some ideas of how you decided whether a day care or private route worked best for you, and also how the transition was once you returned to work. Are there any resources out there for researching these places besides just googling reviews? I signed up for care.com but it didn't seem very helpful. TIA

Re: Working Moms

I went with a daycare because as an anxious mom, I do prefer all of the rules and regulations. I did feel bad that she had to share the adult with 3 other babies - that was the hardest part, as well as now, when she's a little older and vocalizes that she doesn't want to leave her toys at home and when i have to rush her out the door. 2 years later, I feel we made the right decision with a large center. She loves her friends, socializes, and as I stated before, I never had nightmares that they were putting her on her stomach to sleep or feeding her grapes or splitting attention with getting housework done. Leaving your child is hard, especially when they cry for you, but knowing they are taken care of makes it a little easier.

Re: Working Moms

Working Moms

I never even considered an in Home place or a nanny. We just likes the entire situation of a center. No worries about staffing issues since they have tons of teachers. My ds has been in daycare since 8 weeks and he 3.5 now. I've never doubted my decision.

Re: Working Moms

It's a tough one. People will love one or the other. I love having a nanny, letting my kids sleep & not worrying if they are sick or if I get out late. We have a great nanny/babysitter who is responsible for only my child.

That said, I have coworkers who went from nanny to daycare & those who pulled kid out of daycare after 1 week.

Something will work.

Working Moms

I went with a center first, then an in-home daycare. The in-home daycare was regulated (my close friend happened to be their licenser from OCFS), so that gave me peace of mind.

Working Moms

We decided on licensed in home daycare because it was significantly cheaper than using a center, at least in my area. DD started at 6 months only because I had family helping beforehand. Of course I'd rather be home with her but I have no regrets in sending her where I do. DD#2 will be going there at 6 weeks.

I did my research by going onto the OCFS website and searching my area for licensed daycares and reading about their violations if any. Then I made a list of places to call/visit.

When I drop DD (15m) off every morning, she goes to her teachers with open arms and now that she's becoming more verbal, she just yells out Bye! and goes off to play.

ETA: I also like the flexibility. DD used to go 5 days but it worked out that I am able to stay home on Fridays. I love that it's a daily rate unlike centers have.

Message edited 6/15/2015 11:47:43 AM.

Re: Working Moms

I called up daycares in my area to find out availability and pricing, I also found out about some home daycares through recs, and a Facebook group called "Childcare on Long Island". I checked the OFCS website where they list violations. We ended up putting a deposit down for a licensed home daycare 5 min from our house although it was not necessarily less expensive than a center (there were other things we liked such as the flexibility of the owner). We will see how it goes.

Working Moms

Thanks so much for all of your feedback. I definitely can see the positives and negatives of each style - I am definitely going to check out the OFCS website now, as I never knew this existed. I am so new to all of this - so I appreciate all of your guidance!

Re: Working Moms

I visited all the nearby daycare centers when I was pregnant with my first - but came to realize that they wouldn't have the schedule flexibility I'd need. (I work in the city and often have to be on a train before 6am.) That left the in-home nanny option as my only viable option - which has worked favorably for me. It's been a bit more expensive for me, but worth it as my nanny does cleaning and laundry too - which made a HUGE difference when I transitioned back to work. I didn't feel like my house was falling apart.....on the contrary, her work during the day actually made my at-home time more relaxing and enjoyable. Worth the money...for me.

Re: Working Moms

No childcare scenario will be perfect. You make trade offs no matter what.

For DS, we had very limited options (we weren't on LI at the time) and started him in an in-home dc. I hated it and pulled him out within a couple of weeks. I didn't like that there were older kids around him all the time. We got a nanny for him until he was about 18 months old. That's when we moved to LI and put him in a center.

Now we have a 3 week old DD, too. She'll be started at the same dc center when she's 12 weeks old. I have no reservations about it. Is it hard to leave your tiny baby? Yes. But I found a place that I trust and DS has loved it there for almost a year already.

Re: Working Moms

Re: Working Moms

We did nanny. I didn't like the thought of dragging the kids out of bed in the morning in the cold, wet, snow or extreme heat. I think they are in a structured environment enough and that the freedom and comfort of home is best.
We have had the same nanny for 6 years and has been a Godsend to us.

Re: Working Moms

We chose to do a daycare. I'm due in 4 weeks so can't speak to the part about how it will work going back and forth but I liked the idea of the trust with multiple teachers, and this place is so loving. They also stay open even during the majority of snow storms and school holidays so that helps us out too. We looked at a Nanny but it was SO much more expensive in our area, at least. And the Nanny you have the worry of who to hire, who can you trust (unless it's a referral), and what happens if they get stuck and can't come to you.

Re: Working Moms

We went daycare route due to cost. I was not a fan of our first place but love our second. Transition was hard the first few weeks, but eventually became much better. It definitely gets easier

Re: Working Moms

We preferred a center because they have a standard, monitored curriculum and felt there was more routine, rules, etc. If I was blown away by an in home one, we would have considered it.
We just felt a nanny was not for us. I wanted the curriculum and socialization aspect and DS has benefited from it so much. Yeah, it would be nice to save time dropping off and picking up, but the atmosphere is better, he learns more, and he is not in our home every day. I think it is good it breaks it up. Also, don't have to worry about nanny being sick, etc. If the teachers is out, they have to staff accordingly. I don't get stuck!

We considered a nanny now that #2 is coming, but by the time we register DS1 in pre school we would be paying more and have to get him back and forth. He gets everything he needs at the day care center, i don't even have to think about meals while he is there either.

Message edited 6/15/2015 1:58:13 PM.

Re: Working Moms

We considered everything. DH and I must have visited about 15 different places. DD was 13 months when I first went back so we were lucky enough to be able to watch how she interacted with the materials in her environment. From the ones she did well with, we went with the place we felt had the best educational model and a discipline philosophy I liked and could follow at home for consistency.

In terms of the transition, it took 2 weeks before DD adjusted. After a vacation or a few days off, she needs a day to readjust.

Message edited 6/15/2015 3:23:24 PM.

Working Moms

My DD is 18 months and in a in home daycare that is a family member of a close friend of mine. When I was looking at daycare centers everytime I would leave I would cry and cry and cry as I felt like it was just too institutional for me. I would keep telling my DH that these people were not going to love our baby and she was just another kid in the crowd. I know this is not true but its just how I felt. I wanted more of a home enviornment and I love my sitter. My daughter loves he rtoo and the few kids that are there have grown so close. My second baby will be going to her as well. I am grateful everyday when I pick her up and is she is smiling happy and hugs and kisses her sitter bye bye. I think we just lucked out because we knew her and she came so highly regarded from close friends whose kids she took care of. Its a very personal decision and yes I feel you give up a lot more control to a private sitter because there are no end of day report sheets or cameras to check in. Its up to you at then end of the day and you will work it out when babes is going. You may try one and switch. No shame in that.

Re: Working Moms

I use an in-home daycare...it was much more reasonable price-wise and I liked the size and feel of it vs. a center. We love our provider...she loves our dd and our dd loves her...I also work very close to home and she is on the way and there are no centers between my house and work, so this is easier for me as well.

Re: Working Moms

There's pros and cons to both sides that just depend on your personal needs & wants. I've worked in both. I had been a teacher in a daycare center for something like 6 years and then went onto doing my own home daycare for the next 4. The only other experience I have with home daycares is the one my mother ran when I was in elementary school.

So if we were to rule out price and center holiday/closing dates, and just pretend for a minute that they're equal in that regard...

On one hand, a pro (in my opinion) for centers is that they have a lot more structure - they're on a strict schedule and have specific regulations they have to follow, not to mention the state comes in and checks so you can assume they're keeping up with what is expected of them. The teachers have background checks, and are monitored. Not to say that there's not awful teachers in centers (I regrettably HAVE seen negligence or unprofessional and unkind teachers) but they are at least under supervision so do follow basic needs and safety of children. The reverse to this, which is a con in a home daycare is that they don't have the regulations the center has. If you get a lazy or not-good caregiver, they may not give your child the care they need, as they can get away with more since they are not under the same kind of scrutiny that a center is in.

HOWEVER, the lack of standardization can also be a plus for home daycares. At least in mine, it's a lot more fun because at the center I worked at I had to follow a specific schedule. Doesn't matter what the kid is doing, it's time to go clean up and go outside. Here at my house, anything goes. We keep to safety regulations OF COURSE, but if a child takes extra long with their art project, that's fine! Finish up, no rush, we'll go outside later. Taking a while to eat lunch? Nap time can get pushed later too. It's not a big deal, so we're much more relaxed and do what WE want to do. And since I don't have a lot of kids, we even get to take walks or head to the park sometimes. Another pro for home daycares is the one-on-one attention which I could RARELY give kids in the center. I just had so many, it became difficult to see them as individuals. It was just one big class that I needed to make sure were following the schedule and kept safe. Here at my house, I only take in 4 at the most, so there's lots of time to play together, sit on my lap and read stories, conversations about their day, and one-on-one lessons on colors, shapes, letters, ect. For the infant, I can sit with her to give her the bottle rather than having to prop it and tend to other kids like I did at the center when I worked in the infant room. Here at home, I also am able to text parents throughout the day with updates when they ask for it. If child isn't feeling well or just 'off' that day, then I can keep in touch if they want that. I also sometimes send pictures of cute or fun things they're doing, which the parents always seem to appreciate. Never could do that kind of personalized stuff in a center.

Another pro for a center, is all of the new kids they get to meet, especially since they move up to a new classroom each year. A pro for a home is that they (both child AND parent) get a close relationship with caregiver who grows to truly love & care for the child as they can have them for years at a time.

So, it's hard for me to say which is necessarily "better". There's good and bad to both. To work at, it's no brainer that home daycare is a lot more fun and relaxed and flexible for the teacher (at least one with my personality). I'm a SAHM though so where I'd send my kid if I had to go elsewhere for work, I never really sat and thought about. I think you just need to continue the pro and con list and decide from there what works best for your situation and your child.

Message edited 6/16/2015 10:25:12 AM.

Working Moms

Thanks everyone, this really helped me tremendously. The search continues!

Working Moms

Just wanted add that in home daycares have to follow rules and regulations just like centers, if it's properly licensed. The state does routine checks, the teachers are required to have training, they need to be cpr and first aid certified, just like in a big center. And at least at the one I use, the state does checks on everyone in the home, not just the teachers.