I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

We decided to TTC back in January/February... a few months before our wedding. But it only lasted that one month, because DH found out he got accepted into a graduate school program that will put him out of town, over 2 hours away for most of the week, maybe even for a few weeks at a time.. so we stopped and I went back on the pill. I am having major baby fever... Have any of you had experience with this kind of situation? He doesn't want to be away at school while I am pregnant for fear that something may happen and he can't get home to me in time. We are also not in the ideal financial situation right now with him going back to school... so I get that, but I also feel like holding off for the perfect time is silly because there will never be a perfect time. Am I wrong? Would love to hear some opinions and/or experiences others have had... Thanks ladies

Re: I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

This is hard because in the end, you both have to agree on this decision. You also don't want to convince him to TTC and then he possibly resents you for it, etc.

Does he say when he thinks would be a good time? Would it be after he finished MBA or just after a year or so?

Yes, there is never an ideal time to have a baby, you will never have the right amount of money, be ready to raise a child, etc., but I do believe that some of these things need to align for it to be the right time. It is a huge commitment financially and emotionally and if he's not going to be home often during the week of the first year of the baby's life, it could be very emotionally straining on both of you.

I guess it shouldn't be a huge factor but are you younger? We wish we could have had more time just to be married without kids but I am on the older side and we do have all our finances, jobs, etc. in order so we decided to start trying because it made sense for us. If one of us was in school though, especially out of town and not be able to be there to help the other, we might put it off.

Message edited 8/17/2015 8:38:08 PM.

I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

I totally agree with your husband. There may never be a perfect time but there are certainly times that are better than others-your DH needs to focus on his graduate program and a pregnant wife and then a newborn are not going to allow him to work to his potential--I waited until after I finished my doctoral program (at nearly 37) to try to get pregnant. My DH was so anxious to have a child--I refused to compromise- pregnancy can go very easy or there is a chance that you could end up in bed rest--I started have contractions at 28 weeks and was not allowed to lift or stand for long periods of time until I hit 37 weeks-I was not on strict bed rest but I do not know what I would have done if my DH was not around.

Re: I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

Thanks so much for your replies. I am leaning more towards agreeing with DH than not, that's why I'm so torn. The baby fever gets to me sometimes and I have moments of weakness. But you're right, his points are very valid. I'm 33, so there is still time if we hold off for a year until he can get into an externship close to home. I would never want to pressure him into trying before he really wants to, so I will do the best I can to keep the fever away. Thanks again for responding, I really appreciate it!

Re: I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

Re: I want to TTC, hubs says not yet.

I totally agree with your DH as well. Unfortunately, I've BTDT. I waited two years to even start TRYING while everyone around me got pregnant and had kids, sometimes twice. I'd like to say I waited patiently, but I'm sure my DH would disagree. It's hard, I know it is. But it was ultimately the right decision. We're in a small apartment with two large dogs and it's not exactly a baby raising environment. A year ago, we were in a place where we could purchase a home, but not the home we wanted. We stuck it out and now we're ready to purchase the type of home we want and we're actively searching. Getting a BFP this past weekend has made us doubly committed! And I will say this, it's been worth the wait!

ETA: It was also hard because I'm the oldest in my family and I felt pressured to start having babies. They all want to be aunts, uncles, and grandparents!

Message edited 8/18/2015 10:31:23 AM.