What do you do to feel pretty?

I'm in a bad place. My husband has been having an affair for three years. The only guy I have had any interest recently confessed to having a crush on my (admittedly much prettier) SISTER - ugh. I introduced them (for a business related reason) and knew I would regret it. I've been applying for jobs and getting rejected right and left. I need a pick me up. I already get Botox and work out and just bought about half of the most recent Venus catalog lol. Need some product/clothing/hair makeup tips/ recommendations to dig me out of this hole. Feeling like complete crap about myself. Thanks :)

Message edited 9/25/2015 1:59:15 AM.

What do you do to feel pretty?

I am so sorry! Honestly-color and cut make me feel like a million bucks!

What do you do to feel pretty?

Agreed!! I have been so stressed at work coupled with our move and post graduate school I was a mess. Monday I took a mental health day got my hair colored and cut, got a facial and massage. I felt amazing after a day of pampering. Made me feel ready to tackle the remaining house buying process and a fresh mind set at work.
In regards to clothes I so get it. In my old role i always wore a dress and heels now it's more flats jeans tshirts cardigans etc- I feel like a mess even when I wear a "clean outfit" lol but my job is so hands on with behavior intervention currently that I'm always getting my clothes and hair pulled and whatnot so while sometimes i don't feel like "me" I take time for myself every now and then to pamper myself and have a fresh look. Makes me feel really good!

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Posted by Hopefulmama

I'm in a bad place. My husband has been having an affair for three years. The only guy I have had any interest recently confessed to having a crush on my (admittedly much prettier) SISTER - ugh. I introduced them (for a business related reason) and knew I would regret it. I've been applying for jobs and getting rejected right and left. I need a pick me up. I already get Botox and work out and just bought about half of the most recent Venus catalog lol. Need some product/clothing/hair makeup tips/ recommendations to dig me out of this hole. Feeling like complete crap about myself. Thanks :)

Hair cut and color - something you've always wanted to try but thought it may be too drastic - DO IT!

Also, skinny jeans with a pair of shoes that give me extra height. Pumps or high wedges. Big earrings and a full face of make up (go get a make over w some contouring to feel and see a change)

Doing those things always make me feel glamourous lol when I look the part , I feel the part and people notice that confidence.

My #1 piece of advice , other the. The physical things you can do.... If you can, spend some time with a good friend and laugh. That is the BEST pick me up and best way to find your confidence again - from the inside out.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Posted by Hopefulmama

I'm in a bad place. My husband has been having an affair for three years. The only guy I have had any interest recently confessed to having a crush on my (admittedly much prettier) SISTER - ugh. I introduced them (for a business related reason) and knew I would regret it. I've been applying for jobs and getting rejected right and left. I need a pick me up. I already get Botox and work out and just bought about half of the most recent Venus catalog lol. Need some product/clothing/hair makeup tips/ recommendations to dig me out of this hole. Feeling like complete crap about myself. Thanks :)

Hair cut and color - something you've always wanted to try but thought it may be too drastic - DO IT!

Also, skinny jeans with a pair of shoes that give me extra height. Pumps or high wedges. Big earrings and a full face of make up (go get a make over w some contouring to feel and see a change)

Doing those things always make me feel glamourous lol when I look the part , I feel the part and people notice that confidence.

My #1 piece of advice , other the. The physical things you can do.... If you can, spend some time with a good friend and laugh. That is the BEST pick me up and best way to find your confidence again - from the inside out.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Posted by Hopefulmama

I'm in a bad place. My husband has been having an affair for three years. The only guy I have had any interest recently confessed to having a crush on my (admittedly much prettier) SISTER - ugh. I introduced them (for a business related reason) and knew I would regret it. I've been applying for jobs and getting rejected right and left. I need a pick me up. I already get Botox and work out and just bought about half of the most recent Venus catalog lol. Need some product/clothing/hair makeup tips/ recommendations to dig me out of this hole. Feeling like complete crap about myself. Thanks :)

Hair cut and color - something you've always wanted to try but thought it may be too drastic - DO IT!

Also, skinny jeans with a pair of shoes that give me extra height. Pumps or high wedges. Big earrings and a full face of make up (go get a make over w some contouring to feel and see a change)

Doing those things always make me feel glamourous lol when I look the part , I feel the part and people notice that confidence.

My #1 piece of advice , other the. The physical things you can do.... If you can, spend some time with a good friend and laugh. That is the BEST pick me up and best way to find your confidence again - from the inside out.

What do you do to feel pretty?

Like the others said, a great cut and color. Also, some new makeup helps too. A couple of great outfits, or great fitting jeans and heels. And honestly, lifting weights.. It sounds silly but killing it at the gym makes me feel amazing.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Posted by Hopefulmama

I'm in a bad place. My husband has been having an affair for three years. The only guy I have had any interest recently confessed to having a crush on my (admittedly much prettier) SISTER - ugh. I introduced them (for a business related reason) and knew I would regret it. I've been applying for jobs and getting rejected right and left. I need a pick me up. I already get Botox and work out and just bought about half of the most recent Venus catalog lol. Need some product/clothing/hair makeup tips/ recommendations to dig me out of this hole. Feeling like complete crap about myself. Thanks :)

Hair cut and color - something you've always wanted to try but thought it may be too drastic - DO IT!

Also, skinny jeans with a pair of shoes that give me extra height. Pumps or high wedges. Big earrings and a full face of make up (go get a make over w some contouring to feel and see a change)

Doing those things always make me feel glamourous lol when I look the part , I feel the part and people notice that confidence.

My #1 piece of advice , other the. The physical things you can do.... If you can, spend some time with a good friend and laugh. That is the BEST pick me up and best way to find your confidence again - from the inside out.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

I agree definately a cut and color. Good luck. Some guys are real assh*les!!

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Hair extensions.
Without them I have ZERO confidence.
With them, I'm a new person.

Also high and low lights in my hair

And makeup- I don't wear a TON- but it makes a HUGE difference

Heels- I never wear flats because I don't feel sexy in flats

Dresses and skirts
Sexy (not trashy) clothes
I rarely wear pants and I don't wear cardigans, oversized sweaters, anything baggy, etc
I feel like when i put a conservative outfit on, I have ZERO confidence.
I like your style though- the VENUS catalog is my go to as well!

Message edited 9/25/2015 10:40:36 PM.

What do you do to feel pretty?

personally I would use caution when doing something drastic to your hair. Only because when were totally down sometimes were not totally clear and then we later regret it. I decided once to cut my hair and dye it brown yea I wasn't happy with that decision and it took forever to get the brown out (im naturally blonde)
I would say def cut/color but maybe not ultra drastic
I would go to Ulta or Sephora and get some makeup tips and a make over
I would say maybe go to 1 of the dept stores and ask to have a stylist help you pick out some stuff to freshen up your style
Or even a boutique where they can spend time with you helping you pick out clothes, accessories (even if its just 1 new outfit)

To make myself feel pretty daily:
I do my makeup
I make sure my hair is done (which just means clean, blown dry or made wavy) I very rarely put my hair up because I don't feel pretty with it up
I wear jewelry
I wear my fave sunglasses

For my everyday, even if Im wearing flats or even my toms, jeans and a t shirt- my makeup and hair is done (natural looking not all glam), my simple everyday jewelry I feel damn good about myself. As long as Im put together I feel good...

And maybe think about talking to a therapist. At the end of the day you can be in sweat pants and feel sexy. Its all about how you feel and you said some sh*tty things have happened lately to really shake your confidence. And rightfully so, they would totally shake mine. And you could spend $1 million dollars on botox, fillers, new clothes, shoes and makeup and still feel sh*tty inside. Making THAT go away cannot be accomplished without healing all your pain inside. (im getting off my soapbox now)

I hope you feel better!

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

When I don't work out I feel like crap. I like working out, styling my hair (not just wash and air dry) wearing at least mascara, under eye concealer, blush and lipstick, fitted flattering top with dark wash bootcut jean or leggings pretty flats or boots. A nice bag, sunglasses, new jewelery pieces, manicure/pedicure, a visit to the salon for a facial. I love that clean fresh feeling after a facial. Buy new bras and panties. I like Philosophy products, bare minerals, bed head shine spray, Sebastian hairspray, Marc Jacobs perfume, Loreal lipsticks...

If I'm in a rut I love reaching out to a dear friend of mine and venting to her, going out for a drink, taking a mental break to reevaluate what's going on make plans to make it better.

Hope you feel better.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Aww. Hang in there. I felt like crap about myself after my kids. After my twins, I hated everything about myself-I couldn't even look in a mirror. I went out and bought new makeup and sat at the Mac counter and let the girl make me over and give me some tips. I felt like a new person. This was about 7 months after they were born. Well I felt so good about myself, we wound up making another baby a month later.

Fast forward to after my 3rd was born, 3 kids under 3, life is insanity. I work FT and used to keep a change of clothes in my car bc my little one loved to throw up on me as I would get him out of the car. Which was all fine until a good friend of mine told me one day I smelled like formula and throw up. I wanted to die! It must've gotten in my hair. Again, I got in a bad place. I still don't really feel like myself sometimes.

I had always wanted to get the Brazilian blowout (keratin) but just thought it was too expensive and finally said screw it, I'm doing it. I swear it changed my life. I felt better about myself. My hair looked neat and would get constant compliments. Plus it is a huge timesaver for me. I have been getting it done a little over a year now and only wish I did it sooner.

Is there anything you always wanted to try, like wearing skinny jeans, or heels more, or highlights, new makeup, (you get the point)? I say now's the time. Go for it!

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Cut and color. But most importantly. Talking to yourself and telling yourself f the naysayers. Hold ur head up high. Believe you are worth the world be kind to orhers eve when angry. That's true beauty!

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Sorry I hadn't been on in a little while.All great advice, including the advice to look inward :) thanks ladies! I'll be busy lol.

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

Sleep
Water
Moisturizer
Exercise
Eat fruits and veggies
Perfume
Heels
Makeup
Hair done
Confidence
Smile
good feelings thoughts

Re: What do you do to feel pretty?

After my divorce, my confidence suffered which is very common. Now, my circumstances are different than yours - but naturally, because your husband is cheating, it is going to hurt your self esteem. It shouldn't! But it does! There's no getting around that. So, I recommend what worked for me the most: counseling. My counselor has been wonderful - I can convey what I'm going through and have an outside party who is supportive and understanding present to me other angles and things I would have never even thought of. It is exactly what it is supposed to be: therapeutic.

I did that along with a bunch of "physical" stuff -- worked out a lot, bought myself all new clothes, went and changed my hair style, got blow outs a lot since I don't color my hair, it's natural, I found that changing the style and getting a blow out helped lift my spirits. I did my nails different. I got plenty of facials at the spa along with massages. I went out of my way to take time for myself.

But the counseling, in conjunction with the rest, is what really helped me heal. You need to realize that your value is so high, so priceless, and that there's something wrong with your husband for not seeing your value. Nothing is wrong or lacking on your part. But, what is lovely is that I can guarantee you there are plenty of other men out there who WILL see your value.

See it in yourself first and then when you know how great you are, others will be drawn to you. It is infectious.

ETA -- I highly recommend listening to "The Secret" and applying the laws of attraction and positive thinking into your life. My life has literally TRANSFORMED from doing that. I listen to it in the car. It is life-changing.

Message edited 9/28/2015 11:14:35 AM.