Anxious kitten

In November we got a new kitten, Quincy. We have two other cats, Phoebe and Holden and we live in a two bedroom apartment at a little over 1000 square meters. We have some cat trees and a lot of space for the cats (it's pretty catified).

When we first brought Quincy home we kept him in the bedroom with us until he got used to other cats. He peed on our bed while we were sleeping in it on the first night. He was 12 weeks old at this point. I considered it an accident because he was so young. He did it again. I figured he liked the fluffy comforter, so I changed that and nothing happened. We also moved our bed into the living room for 2 weeks because getting peed on in the middle of the night was making us exhausted with not getting enough sleep. During this time Quincy was still in the bedroom and seeing the other cats under limited contact.

We moved the bed back a few weeks later and the other cats were OK with him. By OK, I mean there was hissing, but no att king or anything.

Fast forward to 3 months later and everything is going fine. Until he pees on our bed again in the middle of the night (We have a water protector for our mattress, so the mattress is fine). We change the sheets and go back to sleep. The next night he does it again. We go to the vet and get him all checked out. He's fine medically. The week that this happened I went back to work (I work 8 months out of the house and 4 months at home) after the 2 months of working at home. I figured this stressed him out, so the vet gave us some anxiety medicine (called Zylkene).

In addition to that, we moved a litter box into the bedroom and began moving it little by little each day back to where we keep the litter boxes (We have 4 in total now). That seemed to work.

That was two months ago. This week my husband was on a business trip and the first night he was back, Quincy peed on the bed in the middle of the night. Again.

I'm starting to think the problem is my husband. For some reason, Quincy is really afraid of him and has always been. He's a pretty skittish cat and it took a while for him to warm up to me. Now he's my little shadow, but when DH is in the room, he's really apprehensive. He's also like this with our cat sitter when we go away. He seems to be scared of men.

We got him from a highly- recommended breeder and we met the mother as well. The mother was very shy as well, so I think it's genetic.

We called the vet asking for some stronger medicine and they want us to go see a cat behaviorist first. They want to try homeopathy and essential oils, etc.

Of course we are going to try this, but I'm at my wit's end with this kitten. DH and I are not sleeping because we are afraid to be woken up to pee in the bed. It's easier when I sleep on the couch with the kitten because he doesn't pee on me.

Some extra info:
I wash the sheets in an enzyme detergent that breaks down urine.
We have Feliway plugged in.
We have 4 litter boxes for 3 cats.
We scoop every day / other day.
The other cats aren't attacking him. Just some hissing, but for the most part they co-exist.
He will only play with me, not my husband.
My husband is not a big guy.

TL;DR: Cat is scared of husband and pees on his side of the bed in the middle of the night.

Re: Anxious kitten

Does Quincy have to stay in your bedroom?

I love your cats' names by the way.

Re: Anxious kitten

I'm sure the vet has ruled out cystitis and the like? One of our cats had this problem, and she is now on a special diet for urinary issues. It was absolutely stress related. She was a little over a year old when this started happening.....No issues thankfully for the last 8 months or so....

I agree with the above poster you may have to keep him out of the bed for awhile. At the very least, he won't have the opportunity to pee on the bed!

ETA: Could you husband try to interact with him a bit more? Does he enjoy being brushed?? That can help them bond a bit...

Message edited 6/4/2016 1:12:35 PM.

Re: Anxious kitten

Hi, sorry for that I didn't respond quicker.

We are currently trying to have my husband interact more with him. He seems to be getting better each day, but he's gone all this week, so I guess we will see what happens when he comes back.

We saw the behaviorist. She said that when we took him away from his mother that it was a critical time. We got him at 13 weeks. She said it would have been better to take him at 8 weeks or 16 weeks. We kind of interrupted an important socialization period. I've never heard of this and I'm not so sure how much I agree with it.

But anyway, she suggested that we add some more cat trees and cat shelves. We are looking into that.

She also suggested we put a shower curtain down on our bed and put a food dish on that. That way food is associated with the bed and animals don't pee where they eat.

She also suggested that we fix up our balcony and get cat safe and leave the balcony open while we are at work. I'm sorry, but that's really expensive and I don't want to leave the door open like that.

She also suggested that we do a puzzle board for feeding. We would need to do this for all of our cats. We got one board to try it out and it's working for two cats, but the other wants nothing to do with it. Ms. Phoebe wants her food in a bowl.

If we can't do that, then we need to get special collars and then only certain cats can eat from the bowl, but Quincy cannot. Collars are dangerous, so I'm not doing that.

She also gave us more medicine.

Thanks for all your replies!