Rough weekend with 4yr old

My son is a wonderful loving boy, very articulate but personality changes with flip of light switch.

This weekend we had family visit but he was so difficult that I was embarressed. He is NOT diagnosed with anything but had been working with a social worker in school this part year. (social skills) He was discharged and starts regular K in sept.

If my son doesn't get his way he SCREAMS!! He knows exactly what he is doing & will do things to get attn like throwing ball on roof/shed & hopes it gets stuck. He purposly broked about 10 daylily flowers today at Grandmas. There is no reason for these things to be done. His cousin was over & has a twin brother. He just gets mad!!
I give him time outs & then pursists outloud with " I am a bad boy" " Everyone thinks I am so bad" I ignore or respond with "your not bad, your good boy that is making bad choices" He then responds back "nope, I am bad" and we go full circle. I try & redirect but this makes me so sad.

How does one handle this? I am hoping he is just immature at 4yr old (5 at end of Oct) not sure what to do.
His twin brother plays great with other kids. When this twin "A" is playing usually winds up off by himself...by choice.

Re: Rough weekend with 4yr old

Sending hugs. My kids have given me many a rough weekend like that. My one suggestion is to maybe not try speaking to him at all. My one son (one of my twins also has extremely destructive behavior). When he starts to act up, the developmental ped said remove him where he can't hurt anyone and/or where he can't destruct items (or if he does I don't care) and we are absolutely not to respond to him. The last time this happened, he got himself all worked up and was screaming by the end. I was calm, got down and looked him right in the eye and said I will not talk to you until you are calm and behave. And I walked away. A few minutes later, he quieted down and said I am calm, I will be good. Can you talk to me? And then we hugged and talked about why he can't act like that. I really never thought it would work, but it honestly has been.

The other thing she suggested was 1-2-3 Magic but I haven't tried it, might be worth a shot. Hang in there momma.

Re: Rough weekend with 4yr old