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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
DH wants to name LO after his BFF who is deceased. I never met BFF. Apparently, they were like brothers but later in life BFF went down the wrong path. My DH drifted away from him because he didn't want any part of the scene BFF was in. He never straightened himself out and he passed away several years ago. DH was devastated when it happened.
Tonight he told me that he frequently has vivid dreams with BFF ( I knew that already) and he would like to name the baby after him.
I am superstitious with this stuff. I feel like I'm setting the baby up for failure by naming him after this guy. Is that crazy? I haven't said anything because I know it will hurt DH and he wants to honor him. By all accounts, this guy was awesome, came from a great family and just ultimately made some poor choices that ruined him. I just feel like it's cursing the baby and I also think it's going to be a weird conversation later on when DH explains who he is named after and what happened to him.
Am I being an irrational pregnant lady?
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Posted 9/4/16 12:16 AM  |
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jellybelly79
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3389 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
Crashing but what about using the first initial instead of the name if you aren't comfortable with the actual name
Message edited 9/4/2016 1:51:20 AM.
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| Posted 9/4/16 1:49 AM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
I must be pregnant because your reasoning makes perfect sense to me. 
Ok. Not pregnant but I agree with you. I'd use it as a middle name and give an abbreviated version of the name story of people ask.
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| Posted 9/4/16 7:23 AM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Name dilemma
I think using it as a middle name is a nice compromise (unless you really love the name and the only thing stopping you would be the negative association). If it's a common name, you probably won't get asked a lot for the reason you chose it... If it's a very unusual name, then yeah it'll come up a lot.
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| Posted 9/4/16 7:44 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
Posted by Mom0710
I must be pregnant because your reasoning makes perfect sense to me.
This just made me lol!
And thank you all for making me feel better. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm being hormonal and irrational.
It's not a weird name at all. It's not one of my favorites but it's tolerable and flows with my other sons' names. When my DH made his announcement to me yesterday, my mom was sitting there and before she heard the story she said "I think that is a great name!" So DH was thrilled he got the queen matriarchs support. When I told her, she was like well he obviously was very important to him so it's nice he wants to honor him. Say what?! I just feel like it's a jinx but I feel bad saying that to DH. He was like a six pack in yesterday when he made this announcement so I guess I'll wait and see if he remembers
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| Posted 9/4/16 8:28 AM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Name dilemma
Personally, I don't think it's bad luck, but if it makes you uneasy I think using it as a middle name is a great compromise.
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| Posted 9/4/16 8:42 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
I don't think it's bad luck. It's someone who had a lot of meaning in your husbands life. If you are that uncomfortable then use it as a middle name
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| Posted 9/4/16 9:10 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Name dilemma
Use it as middle name.
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| Posted 9/4/16 9:17 AM |
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muffaboo
LIF Adult
Member since 12/10 3797 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
I don't think it would jinx your son or be bad luck but you ultimately need to be comfortable with it. Like the other girls said, you can use the first initial of the name or maybe as a middle name.
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| Posted 9/4/16 9:24 AM |
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RockabyGirl
LIF Infant
Member since 4/15 77 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
You're not being irrational at all. My dad's side of the family is Jewish and in the Jewish culture it's taboo to name a child after someone who has died tragically or unnaturally. They believe the spirit of the name carries over.
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| Posted 9/4/16 8:47 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
I agree on suggesting it be the middle name. My DDs middle name is after DHs deceased grandmother and DD2s middle name will be after my deceased grandmother.
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| Posted 9/4/16 8:55 PM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2259 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
Posted by RockabyGirl
You're not being irrational at all. My dad's side of the family is Jewish and in the Jewish culture it's taboo to name a child after someone who has died tragically or unnaturally. They believe the spirit of the name carries over.
Ditto. I didn't give DD my deceased cousin's name for this very reason.
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| Posted 9/5/16 12:11 AM |
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TooSoontoTell
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
I also don't feel comfortable naming a child after someone who has passed away. I would not agree to it. Not at all.
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| Posted 9/5/16 12:16 AM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
I'd feel the same way. I wouldn't use the name even as a middle.
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| Posted 9/5/16 1:04 AM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Name dilemma
I would not use the name- not even as a middle name- my friend is planning to use the name of a friend who died young and tragically for his son's middle name and I out right asked him if he felt superstitious about it--Maybe yo can use the first initial in honor of your husband's friend.
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| Posted 9/5/16 9:25 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Name dilemma
No, I don't blame you at all. I would be hesitant to use the name because I am a little superstitious too, and also do you even like the name? You didn't say. Unless it coincidentally happened to be a name that I loved, I would not concede on this.
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| Posted 9/5/16 12:02 PM |
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WahmBam
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/14 555 total posts
Name:
Mom
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Re: Name dilemma
I wouldn't want it as a first name if you aren't BOTH in agreement on it. I would do it was a middle name to respect DH's feelings and to honor that relationship with his BFF.
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| Posted 9/5/16 4:23 PM |
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Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 614 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
I don't blame you at all-- I'm very superstitious so no I would not use it as a first name. I would possibly use it as a middle name but would still be on the fence a out it.
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| Posted 9/7/16 2:34 PM |
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Re: Name dilemma
I can understand what you are thinking, however, I would try to honor DH's request. I would have named a girl after my dear friend who passed away from brain cancer
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| Posted 9/8/16 11:22 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Name dilemma
I don't believe in any of this superstition and would use the name.
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| Posted 9/8/16 1:33 PM |
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