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Salason
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Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Aziz Ansari Scandal
Anyone following the story about the woman who went on a date with Aziz Ansari and said he sexually assaulted her? Curious on thoughts...
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Posted 1/25/18 1:18 PM  |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
I read an article or two about it. Personally, while I can understand that she was uncomfortable with what happened, it was all consensual and he didn't force her into anything. He was persistent but she went along with it. I don't think what occurred was sexual assault and if I'm being 100% honest, I think lately any type of behavior between a man and a woman is being ostracized and people are very quick to start throwing around words like "assault" "rape" "abuse". I truly feel for the women out there that have ever been in situations where someone was actually doing these things to them, but there are a lot of other women out there that are just taking things too far with allegations and, to me -- given the information thus far -- I think this is one of those cases.
Message edited 1/25/2018 1:48:54 PM.
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| Posted 1/25/18 1:33 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
I'm a HUGE advocate for this movement... I think women have been silenced for too long... I think they've been blamed and shamed and it's about time it comes to an end.
That being said... I don't know about this one. It sounds to me like a date gone bad or a case of regret. Maybe he put pressure on her, or she felt pressured because of who he is, but he backed off when she said to slow down... only for them both to ramp things up again. She actively participated in any of the activities that took place and he called her an uber when she asked for it. After reading her account of the evening, I just don't know if this assault.
ETA: And it's unfortunate, because it makes it easier to cast doubt on other "grey" situations.
Message edited 1/25/2018 1:36:58 PM.
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| Posted 1/25/18 1:35 PM |
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Hofstra26
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Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by Momma2015
I'm a HUGE advocate for this movement... I think women have been silenced for too long... I think they've been blamed and shamed and it's about time it comes to an end.
That being said... I don't know about this one. It sounds to me like a date gone bad or a case of regret. Maybe he put pressure on her, or she felt pressured because of who he is, but he backed off when she said to slow down... only for them both to ramp things up again. She actively participated in any of the activities that took place and he called her an uber when she asked for it. After reading her account of the evening, I just don't know if this assault.
ETA: And it's unfortunate, because it makes it easier to cast doubt on other "grey" situations.
ITA 100%!!
This to me sounds like a case of bad sex and regret. I actually think she's doing a disservice to women everywhere who have actually been sexually abused or assaulted in some way.
Message edited 1/25/2018 1:56:01 PM.
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| Posted 1/25/18 1:55 PM |
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MsSissy
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Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Agree with everyone here.
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| Posted 1/25/18 2:26 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I read an article or two about it. Personally, while I can understand that she was uncomfortable with what happened, it was all consensual and he didn't force her into anything. He was persistent but she went along with it. I don't think what occurred was sexual assault and if I'm being 100% honest, I think lately any type of behavior between a man and a woman is being ostracized and people are very quick to start throwing around words like "assault" "rape" "abuse". I truly feel for the women out there that have ever been in situations where someone was actually doing these things to them, but there are a lot of other women out there that are just taking things too far with allegations and, to me -- given the information thus far -- I think this is one of those cases.
You saved me from writing my thoughts! I think it's terrible that she may have permanently damaged this man's career with this.
I love that Ashleigh Banfield defended him. Did anyone read the "reporter's" email to HLN after the invited her on the show to discuss it? She sounds really intelligent and credible 
"It's an unequivocal no from me. The way your colleague Ashleigh (?), someone I'm certain no one under the age of 45 has ever heard of, by the way, ripped into my source directly was one of the lowest, most despicable things I've ever seen in my entire life. Shame on her. Shame on HLN. Ashleigh could have "talked" to me. She could have "talked" to my editor or my publication. But instead, she targeted a 23-year-old woman in one of the most vulnerable moments of her life, someone she's never f---ing met before, for a little attention. I hope the ratings were worth it! I hope the ~500 RTs on the single news write-up made that burgundy lipstick bad highlights second-wave feminist has-been feel really relevant for a little while. She DISGUSTS me, and I hope when she has more distance from the moment she has enough of a conscience left to feel remotely ashamed — doubt it, but still. Must be nice to piggyback off of the fact that another woman was brave enough to speak up and add another dimension to the societal conversation about sexual assault. Grace wouldn't know how that feels, because she struck out into this alone, because she's the bravest person I've ever met. I would NEVER go on your network. I would never even watch your network. No woman my age would ever watch your network. I will remember this for the rest of my career — I'm 22 and so far, not too shabby! And I will laugh the day you fold. If you could let Ashleigh know I said this, and that she is no-holds-barred the reason, it'd be a real treat for me."
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| Posted 1/25/18 2:38 PM |
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by MsSissy
Agree with everyone here.
I agree as well
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| Posted 1/25/18 2:57 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
This story is such BS
She’s a grown woman. Why not walk out the door. Sorry but you agree to go out with someone famous, are attracted to them for that fame but then claim that fame is so much pressure?! If you can’t say no to someone famous then don’t date famous people.
I feel bad for real victims. I think she is looking for attention.
I don’t see how he forced anything or restricted her from leaving.
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| Posted 1/25/18 4:06 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by queensgal
This story is such BS
She’s a grown woman. Why not walk out the door. Sorry but you agree to go out with someone famous, are attracted to them for that fame but then claim that fame is so much pressure?! If you can’t say no to someone famous then don’t date famous people.
I feel bad for real victims. I think she is looking for attention.
I don’t see how he forced anything or restricted her from leaving.
I just read the whole thing and I agree. She felt "pressured" to go down on him. OK.
I didn't read at any point that he was forcing her to, holding her head down on him, preventing her from leaving. When she went to the bathroom the first time because she felt so weirded out by him and his advances, , she could have easily left then. He wasn't stopping her. But she chose to stay and sit back down with him. In fact she sat on the floor while he sat on the couch and she said she was hoping he would rub her shoulders or play with her hair or something to calm her down. I don't know, if this guy was such a creeper, I would NOT want him rubbing my back or touching me at all. I'd be out of there.
I don't know.
I don't like how this one smells.
Message edited 1/25/2018 4:29:17 PM.
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| Posted 1/25/18 4:27 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by queensgal
This story is such BS
She’s a grown woman. Why not walk out the door. Sorry but you agree to go out with someone famous, are attracted to them for that fame but then claim that fame is so much pressure?! If you can’t say no to someone famous then don’t date famous people.
I feel bad for real victims. I think she is looking for attention.
I don’t see how he forced anything or restricted her from leaving.
I just read the whole thing and I agree. She felt "pressured" to go down on him. OK.
I didn't read at any point that he was forcing her to, holding her head down on him, preventing her from leaving. When she went to the bathroom the first time because she felt so weirded out by him and his advances, , she could have easily left then. He wasn't stopping her. But she chose to stay and sit back down with him. In fact she sat on the floor while he sat on the couch and she said she was hoping he would rub her shoulders or play with her hair or something to calm her down. I don't know, if this guy was such a creeper, I would NOT want him rubbing my back or touching me at all. I'd be out of there.
I don't know.
I don't like how this one smells.
what got me was him sticking fingers in her mouth and her not liking it.
last i checked, unless you willingly open your mouth, it is nearly impossible for someone to stick their fingers in there. and if he did manage it and you didn't like it, bite him! i think THAT non-verbal cue would get the message across.
she was a 22 year old looking for her fiften mintues of fame. unfortunately, she chose to hurt an important movement to get it.
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| Posted 1/25/18 4:48 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
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Diana
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
this is what i wrote in another forum:
I'm gonna sound like a b1tch.. but she lost me when she said he gave her white wine and she preferred red. Really?? She had many opportunities to leave. He didn't hold her there against her will. Non verbal cues do not work. Then she expects him to rub her back?? And also... how many people did she text on the way home?? And tell her coworkers?? I DO NOT victim blame ever... but this sounds like someone who wants her 15 minutes of fame. Oh! And when he said let's get our clothes on and really chill on the couch... You telling me she didn't think to put her clothes back on before "chilling"?
Message edited 1/26/2018 8:51:56 AM.
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| Posted 1/26/18 8:51 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by Ian&EmmesMommy23
this is what i wrote in another forum:
I'm gonna sound like a b1tch.. but she lost me when she said he gave her white wine and she preferred red. Really?? She had many opportunities to leave. He didn't hold her there against her will. Non verbal cues do not work. Then she expects him to rub her back?? And also... how many people did she text on the way home?? And tell her coworkers?? I DO NOT victim blame ever... but this sounds like someone who wants her 15 minutes of fame. Oh! And when he said let's get our clothes on and really chill on the couch... You telling me she didn't think to put her clothes back on before "chilling"?
The white wine thing got me too. When I read that part I was like. "how is this even pertinant to the story???"
So bizarre
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| Posted 1/26/18 9:09 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
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M
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
After reading other people’s opinions, im not sure if maybe I read a different article. While I don’t think he sexually assaulted her, I do think he sounds like a creep. This is the type of situation where I fear for my girls, the pressure to fulfill sexual relations with men instead of listening to your gut and leaving. I’ve been in similar situations, but I’ve also been sexually assaulted, and I can tell you, those assholes who I was able to stop usually became the guys who other women weren’t able to stop. Creeps like the sounds of this guy, tend to get more ballsy each time. The guy who sexually assaulted me, my own friends thought I was crazy bc they always thought he was touchy but never would do something like that, and it took me years and years to stop blaming myself.
So no, I don’t think this guy sexually assaulted her, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets to that level one day. Most guys don’t continue to try sexual advances after a girl says no, or that they may end up hating them. But maybe I just have higher standards for guys, bc I’d be disgusted if this were my son.
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| Posted 1/26/18 1:52 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
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Diana
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by mommy2B3
After reading other people’s opinions, im not sure if maybe I read a different article. While I don’t think he sexually assaulted her, I do think he sounds like a creep. This is the type of situation where I fear for my girls, the pressure to fulfill sexual relations with men instead of listening to your gut and leaving. I’ve been in similar situations, but I’ve also been sexually assaulted, and I can tell you, those assholes who I was able to stop usually became the guys who other women weren’t able to stop. Creeps like the sounds of this guy, tend to get more ballsy each time. The guy who sexually assaulted me, my own friends thought I was crazy bc they always thought he was touchy but never would do something like that, and it took me years and years to stop blaming myself.
So no, I don’t think this guy sexually assaulted her, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets to that level one day. Most guys don’t continue to try sexual advances after a girl says no, or that they may end up hating them. But maybe I just have higher standards for guys, bc I’d be disgusted if this were my son.
i totally get what you're saying. i think in this situation he did not sexually assault her. i think he was definitely aggressive...but there are women who like that. i think the important take away here is to teach young women HOW to say no. non-verbal cues are bullsh1t. you need to say clearly what you want.
i totally admit that in my early twenties...i definitely slept with guys i didn't want to but felt pressured into...but i didnt have the gut and the mouth to say no. i could never blame them because i was not clear with my wants.
thats the biggest thing we need to teach girls. that you say no clearly and that its ok to say no. that's where we're lacking.
Message edited 1/26/2018 3:48:01 PM.
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| Posted 1/26/18 3:47 PM |
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klingklang77
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Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by Ian&EmmesMommy23
Posted by mommy2B3
After reading other people’s opinions, im not sure if maybe I read a different article. While I don’t think he sexually assaulted her, I do think he sounds like a creep. This is the type of situation where I fear for my girls, the pressure to fulfill sexual relations with men instead of listening to your gut and leaving. I’ve been in similar situations, but I’ve also been sexually assaulted, and I can tell you, those assholes who I was able to stop usually became the guys who other women weren’t able to stop. Creeps like the sounds of this guy, tend to get more ballsy each time. The guy who sexually assaulted me, my own friends thought I was crazy bc they always thought he was touchy but never would do something like that, and it took me years and years to stop blaming myself.
So no, I don’t think this guy sexually assaulted her, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets to that level one day. Most guys don’t continue to try sexual advances after a girl says no, or that they may end up hating them. But maybe I just have higher standards for guys, bc I’d be disgusted if this were my son.
i totally get what you're saying. i think in this situation he did not sexually assault her. i think he was definitely aggressive...but there are women who like that. i think the important take away here is to teach young women HOW to say no. non-verbal cues are bullsh1t. you need to say clearly what you want.
i totally admit that in my early twenties...i definitely slept with guys i didn't want to but felt pressured into...but i didnt have the gut and the mouth to say no. i could never blame them because i was not clear with my wants.
thats the biggest thing we need to teach girls. that you say no clearly and that its ok to say no. that's where we're lacking.
I think this needs to be taught to boys, too. The consent needs to be clear. I felt pushed in a few situations, and, yes, it wasn’t assault, but it’s something I felt that I had to do, if that makes any sense.
I’m not really sure what to think of this whole thing, but it’s definitely PUA tactics. Guys need to learn that that is NOT ok.
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| Posted 1/28/18 5:47 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
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Katherine
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Aziz Ansari Scandal
I also think inviting someone to your apt (male or female) after a date is a not so subtle cue that they want to get physical. If you want another drink you can go out to a bar. If you want coffee you can go to Starbucks.
So while a male or female doesn’t have the right to pressure anyone into sex, I think accepting an invitation to someone’s apartment at 10pm is a non verbal cue that things will likely go further. I doubt this was this woman’s first date and she knew this would likely be the case.
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| Posted 1/28/18 6:39 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by Katareen
I also think inviting someone to your apt (male or female) after a date is a not so subtle cue that they want to get physical. If you want another drink you can go out to a bar. If you want coffee you can go to Starbucks.
So while a male or female doesn’t have the right to pressure anyone into sex, I think accepting an invitation to someone’s apartment at 10pm is a non verbal cue that things will likely go further. I doubt this was this woman’s first date and she knew this would likely be the case.
Agreed. There's just no good reason to go to someone's apartment after a first date unless you plan on something happening. There's a million other options...
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| Posted 1/29/18 8:26 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Katareen
I also think inviting someone to your apt (male or female) after a date is a not so subtle cue that they want to get physical. If you want another drink you can go out to a bar. If you want coffee you can go to Starbucks.
So while a male or female doesn’t have the right to pressure anyone into sex, I think accepting an invitation to someone’s apartment at 10pm is a non verbal cue that things will likely go further. I doubt this was this woman’s first date and she knew this would likely be the case.
Agreed. There's just no good reason to go to someone's apartment after a first date unless you plan on something happening. There's a million other options...
I agree.
I've been thinking about the good dates I've had and the bad (or the ones I regret). I never once declared my consent. Like verbally out loud like "I consent to this". How are men supposed to know the difference between them being smooth and turning a partner on, or pressuring someone who doesn't want to, especially if she never actually says no?
When I was younger, I'd never initiate sex. I didn't want to be seen as slutty. That doesn't mean the guy forced or pressured me (I've been assaulted, so I know the difference). It just took a little convincing. If I wasn't interested at all, I wouldn't be in that situation or I would verbally express that I did not want to go any further. How do you teach men to pick up on non-verbal cues? Wouldn't it be more effective to teach women to say "no" and leave the situation?
I mean, this woman sat around with no clothes on. I just don't see this scenario equaling assault or harassment in any way.
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| Posted 1/29/18 10:01 AM |
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klingklang77
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Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Katareen
I also think inviting someone to your apt (male or female) after a date is a not so subtle cue that they want to get physical. If you want another drink you can go out to a bar. If you want coffee you can go to Starbucks.
So while a male or female doesn’t have the right to pressure anyone into sex, I think accepting an invitation to someone’s apartment at 10pm is a non verbal cue that things will likely go further. I doubt this was this woman’s first date and she knew this would likely be the case.
Agreed. There's just no good reason to go to someone's apartment after a first date unless you plan on something happening. There's a million other options...
I agree.
I've been thinking about the good dates I've had and the bad (or the ones I regret). I never once declared my consent. Like verbally out loud like "I consent to this". How are men supposed to know the difference between them being smooth and turning a partner on, or pressuring someone who doesn't want to, especially if she never actually says no?
When I was younger, I'd never initiate sex. I didn't want to be seen as slutty. That doesn't mean the guy forced or pressured me (I've been assaulted, so I know the difference). It just took a little convincing. If I wasn't interested at all, I wouldn't be in that situation or I would verbally express that I did not want to go any further. How do you teach men to pick up on non-verbal cues? Wouldn't it be more effective to teach women to say "no" and leave the situation?
I mean, this woman sat around with no clothes on. I just don't see this scenario equaling assault or harassment in any way.
I’m sorry that that happened to you.
I think saying that she sat around with no clothes is kind of like saying she was wearing a short dress, etc.
I totally get what you are saying about going back to someone’s apartment afterwards. I know that I would not put myself in that situation nowadays. However, she was quite young, and I do think he tried to take advantage of the situation.
How do you teach boys consent? Tell them to ask. That’s it. Ask— “Hey I want to have sex (or whatever verb is used in the moment), do you?” It’s not that complicated.
But maybe I’m coming from a different place here because consent is taught in schools here. They even go over when someone says yes, do they really mean no. It’s a big thing here.
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| Posted 1/29/18 10:14 AM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Ian&EmmesMommy23
Posted by mommy2B3
After reading other people’s opinions, im not sure if maybe I read a different article. While I don’t think he sexually assaulted her, I do think he sounds like a creep. This is the type of situation where I fear for my girls, the pressure to fulfill sexual relations with men instead of listening to your gut and leaving. I’ve been in similar situations, but I’ve also been sexually assaulted, and I can tell you, those assholes who I was able to stop usually became the guys who other women weren’t able to stop. Creeps like the sounds of this guy, tend to get more ballsy each time. The guy who sexually assaulted me, my own friends thought I was crazy bc they always thought he was touchy but never would do something like that, and it took me years and years to stop blaming myself.
So no, I don’t think this guy sexually assaulted her, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets to that level one day. Most guys don’t continue to try sexual advances after a girl says no, or that they may end up hating them. But maybe I just have higher standards for guys, bc I’d be disgusted if this were my son.
i totally get what you're saying. i think in this situation he did not sexually assault her. i think he was definitely aggressive...but there are women who like that. i think the important take away here is to teach young women HOW to say no. non-verbal cues are bullsh1t. you need to say clearly what you want.
i totally admit that in my early twenties...i definitely slept with guys i didn't want to but felt pressured into...but i didnt have the gut and the mouth to say no. i could never blame them because i was not clear with my wants.
thats the biggest thing we need to teach girls. that you say no clearly and that its ok to say no. that's where we're lacking.
I think this needs to be taught to boys, too. The consent needs to be clear. I felt pushed in a few situations, and, yes, it wasn’t assault, but it’s something I felt that I had to do, if that makes any sense.
I’m not really sure what to think of this whole thing, but it’s definitely PUA tactics. Guys need to learn that that is NOT ok.
totally agree!! definitely not just girls. i'm already teaching my 8 year son.
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| Posted 1/29/18 10:19 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by klingklang77
I think saying that she sat around with no clothes is kind of like saying she was wearing a short dress, etc.
How do you teach boys consent? Tell them to ask. That’s it. Ask— “Hey I want to have sex (or whatever verb is used in the moment), do you?” It’s not that complicated.
But maybe I’m coming from a different place here because consent is taught in schools here. They even go over when someone says yes, do they really mean no. It’s a big thing here.
I see what you're saying and that does sound like victim shaming. I just don't know if a man should be held responsible if a woman never verbally expresses her disagreement.
Our schools really have a lot of catching up to do. When I was in HS, we were taught about abstinence and how we would catch STD's and end up pregnant if we had sex. We weren't taught it was ok to want to have sex at all and nothing about consent or rape.
It seems like we're taught to be ashamed of our bodies/feelings no matter what. I mean, I have friends with teenage girls that are embarrassed to get their periods. Something that happens to every woman, once a month, is still seen as something to be embarrassed about.
Breastfeeding is another taboo subject. God forbid someone sees a nipple and feels uncomfortable. It's crazy.
I guess it really comes down to us as parents. I will teach my sons about consent because I never want them to be in a situation where it isn't clear.
Message edited 1/29/2018 11:00:42 AM.
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| Posted 1/29/18 10:59 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Hooray to all of you teaching your sons! I’m happy to hear that.
Yeah, sex ed is strange in the US. I mean I don’t really remember much, but I remember being taught about abstinence and STDs. That’s it. My parents never talked about it to me. I figured it out on my own, thankfully.
I do have to say that I did get the talking to that walking around after dark will get you hurt. I get it now at 40 years old.
But to get back on topic, I do think this situation is somewhat borderline. However, it was reported under a false name, so it leaves me with my hands up in the air. It is a situation (feeling pressured) worth looking at, though.
Maybe I’ve been reading too much reddit and the red pill lately, but the things I read there are disgusting— like how to get a woman past LMR (last minute resistance), amongst other things.
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| Posted 1/29/18 11:32 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
I am really disgusted by some of the things I am reading on this thread.
All I keep reading is how much responsibility goes on the woman.
We're our own worst enemies.
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| Posted 1/29/18 8:47 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Aziz Ansari Scandal
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Katareen
I also think inviting someone to your apt (male or female) after a date is a not so subtle cue that they want to get physical. If you want another drink you can go out to a bar. If you want coffee you can go to Starbucks.
So while a male or female doesn’t have the right to pressure anyone into sex, I think accepting an invitation to someone’s apartment at 10pm is a non verbal cue that things will likely go further. I doubt this was this woman’s first date and she knew this would likely be the case.
Agreed. There's just no good reason to go to someone's apartment after a first date unless you plan on something happening. There's a million other options...
I agree.
I've been thinking about the good dates I've had and the bad (or the ones I regret). I never once declared my consent. Like verbally out loud like "I consent to this". How are men supposed to know the difference between them being smooth and turning a partner on, or pressuring someone who doesn't want to, especially if she never actually says no?
When I was younger, I'd never initiate sex. I didn't want to be seen as slutty. That doesn't mean the guy forced or pressured me (I've been assaulted, so I know the difference). It just took a little convincing. If I wasn't interested at all, I wouldn't be in that situation or I would verbally express that I did not want to go any further. How do you teach men to pick up on non-verbal cues? Wouldn't it be more effective to teach women to say "no" and leave the situation?
I mean, this woman sat around with no clothes on. I just don't see this scenario equaling assault or harassment in any way.
I’m sorry that that happened to you.
I think saying that she sat around with no clothes is kind of like saying she was wearing a short dress, etc.
I totally get what you are saying about going back to someone’s apartment afterwards. I know that I would not put myself in that situation nowadays. However, she was quite young, and I do think he tried to take advantage of the situation.
How do you teach boys consent? Tell them to ask. That’s it. Ask— “Hey I want to have sex (or whatever verb is used in the moment), do you?” It’s not that complicated.
But maybe I’m coming from a different place here because consent is taught in schools here. They even go over when someone says yes, do they really mean no. It’s a big thing here.
I think it's fantastic that they teach this kind of stuff in your schools... there really needs to be a change here! Like a pp said we're made to feel so awkward and ashamed and told just don't do it which is neither realistic nor effective.
Message edited 1/30/2018 8:53:46 AM.
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| Posted 1/30/18 8:46 AM |
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