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KartveliT
...

Member since 1/08

8363 total posts

Name:

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Message edited 6/15/2008 10:10:40 AM.

Posted 3/26/08 8:57 AM
 
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans

Member since 1/06

4018 total posts

Name:

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

What about the husband? Is he in the picture? I know that if soemthing happened to me, my boys would be fine with thier dad.

Very sad situation though.

Posted 3/26/08 10:10 AM
 

stephaniea
LIF Adult

Member since 1/07

1280 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

my husband would raise the kids. In the case of both of us, my sister would take them. Why don't you trust your mom? I totally trust my mom and sister.

Posted 3/26/08 10:16 AM
 

nicrae
He's here!

Member since 12/06

9289 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

My husband would take care of DD. If something happened to both of us then my mom would. DH and I have already discussed this.

Posted 3/26/08 10:23 AM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

DH and i plan on writing a will soon, it's the best idea to prepare for awful situations like this.

obviously if i die, he would care for the baby... if we both die, my mother would get the baby, then his mother, then my middle sister, and then my younger sister.

god forbid we would ever need to use this will but you need to plan for awful situations like this Chat Icon

Posted 3/26/08 10:24 AM
 

Ambersmom
Straight up nasty

Member since 5/05

7740 total posts

Name:
Sharon

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

I worry constantly over this issue (especially due to the divorce). I KNOW that my daughter's care would revert to my STBX, but that thought alone scares the bejesus out of me. Who is going to love her and care for her the way I do? Will she remember me? Will the people she's given to look out for her best interests; do the special things we do together, etc.? The answer is no. So I guess I will have to live foreverChat Icon Chat Icon

In all honesty, if STBX and I were to die at/around the same time, I could see a bloody custody war being waged by both families. I have tried to discuss this issue with STBX (in our will we had my sister as Amber's legal guardian), but he's not agreeable on any points right now.

Message edited 3/26/2008 11:09:42 AM.

Posted 3/26/08 11:08 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

DH would care for our kids & I trust that he would keep my parents & sister involved with them as much as possible.

I think this is a huge reason why arguments between ILs & spouses need to be worked out. I've seen situations in my own family where grandparents have to tread very lightly with the suriving spouse just so they can have access to their grandkids.

I don't think anyone can ever truly replace me as my children's mother. I think the loss of a parent creates a hole so deep. I understand what you mean about knowing everything about them. So whoever is taking care of my child may not know about the little nuances that I have with my child, but I know they will be well-taken care of.

Is your child's father in the picture? Either way, I strongly suggest getting a will in place. The last thing anyone needs to deal with while mourning a loved one is the unanswered question of who takes the kids. It's the greatest gift you can give your child & your relatives - a secure future, one that you choose for him/her.

Posted 3/26/08 11:18 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

Posted by Ambersmom

I worry constantly over this issue (especially due to the divorce). I KNOW that my daughter's care would revert to my STBX, but that thought alone scares the bejesus out of me. Who is going to love her and care for her the way I do? Will she remember me? Will the people she's given to look out for her best interests; do the special things we do together, etc.? The answer is no. So I guess I will have to live foreverChat Icon Chat Icon

In all honesty, if STBX and I were to die at/around the same time, I could see a bloody custody war being waged by both families. I have tried to discuss this issue with STBX (in our will we had my sister as Amber's legal guardian), but he's not agreeable on any points right now.



If you NEVER update the will, sounds like that would be the best thing for Amber.Chat Icon

My girlfriend has the same fear for her daughter. Because her ex is off in his own world, speaks to her maybe 3x a year & sees his daughter maybe once a year, I'm pretty sure her parents would either pay him off & add the guilt of uprooting her to help ease his "pain" or would flee the country with her.

Posted 3/26/08 11:21 AM
 

monkadoo

Member since 5/05

1427 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: something sad happened and it got me thinking

what a sad story Chat Icon I often lay in bed at night thinking scary thoughts such as this...i know it's terrible - but ever since I became a mommy i am so much more aware of my own life and how much I want to be around forever so I don't ever have to be away from DD.

It's so important to have legal documentation of what would happen to your DC God forbid something tragic should happen.

Posted 3/26/08 11:26 AM
 

KartveliT
...

Member since 1/08

8363 total posts

Name:

.

Message edited 6/15/2008 10:11:21 AM.

Posted 3/26/08 11:28 AM
 
 

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