Message edited 7/28/2009 5:57:43 PM.

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

That is really tough...I'm sorry she is having a rough time with it.

I went through the same thing when I was her age--my parents divorced when I was 3 and besides seeing my Dad every Sunday, I also went to his house for 2 separate weeks in the summer.

Sit down and talk with her ASAP. I know for a fact that she misses you when she's away. But I bet she is also having a great time when she's with her Dad. Find out what kinds of things are on her mind--I think it will give you some great insight. And then she can also hear YOUR response. You can say something like, "You KNOW how much I miss you when you're not here, but I'm also SO happy that you're not here because it means that you're having fun with your Daddy, and that's important, too!"

You could take the day off tomorrow to spend with her, but that might give her the idea that the day she leaves is different than any other day. I think you should go to work as normal, and just have that important talk before she goes.

Why don't you give her something of yours to take with her? Maybe write her a letter and attach your picture. Or give her something that has your perfume on it. Something that can comfort her while she's gone.

Good luck--I know it's a tough situation to be in. But now, looking back to when I was that age, I missed my mom but I also enjoyed spending the time with my Dad

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

Posted by MrsRivera

That is really tough...I'm sorry she is having a rough time with it.

I went through the same thing when I was her age--my parents divorced when I was 3 and besides seeing my Dad every Sunday, I also went to his house for 2 separate weeks in the summer.

Sit down and talk with her ASAP. I know for a fact that she misses you when she's away. But I bet she is also having a great time when she's with her Dad. Find out what kinds of things are on her mind--I think it will give you some great insight. And then she can also hear YOUR response. You can say something like, "You KNOW how much I miss you when you're not here, but I'm also SO happy that you're not here because it means that you're having fun with your Daddy, and that's important, too!"

You could take the day off tomorrow to spend with her, but that might give her the idea that the day she leaves is different than any other day. I think you should go to work as normal, and just have that important talk before she goes.

Why don't you give her something of yours to take with her? Maybe write her a letter and attach your picture. Or give her something that has your perfume on it. Something that can comfort her while she's gone.

Good luck--I know it's a tough situation to be in. But now, looking back to when I was that age, I missed my mom but I also enjoyed spending the time with my Dad

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

I also suggest informing your ex about her feelings. It's important for him to know this as well.

I think what Beth said is excellent.

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

Maybe you can keep her this week and send her with her dad next week. Or keep her for a few days and send her with him a couple days later and she can stay longer?

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

Posted by an9elic

Beth, thank you SO SO much for taking the time to write that all out to me!!!! It made me feel a lot better about what I am doing.... to hear from someone who has been through it on the OTHER side and is glad about the way it was done is great to hear!!! It's like you are my DD all grown up, so I really appreciate your insight into this. You are totally right, I AM glad she is there having fun at least... I have told her that a couple times, but never really had a sit-down convo about it like that.. I will be doing that ASAP when she gets home. Great idea about giving her something of mine to take, too.. I am going to do that also!! Thank you sooo much again! You don't know how much I appreciate this.

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

I completely agree with what Beth wrote (great advice!).

Posted by an9elic

Posted by MrsPornStar

I also suggest informing your ex about her feelings. It's important for him to know this as well.

I think what Beth said is excellent.

I agree Hollie, I have told him though and his response is "she needs to get used to it". not very compassionate.

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

Posted by nrthshgrl

I completely agree with what Beth wrote (great advice!).

Posted by an9elic

Posted by MrsPornStar

I also suggest informing your ex about her feelings. It's important for him to know this as well.

I think what Beth said is excellent.

I agree Hollie, I have told him though and his response is "she needs to get used to it". not very compassionate.

My guess is he is responding like that because he's on the defensive & thinks you're trying to appeal to him to not have her for the week versus preparing him for a crying little girl.

It wouldn't be such a bad idea to tell him what you're going to say in terms of missing her but happy for her in case he gets the same thing when she leaves him. Better to try to work with him in a cooperative environment for her sake.

Re: need some unbiased advice please.. *long, sorry*

You ladies are so awesome! Thanks so much for all the advice! I am going to try each and every one of your ideas.... Pray that it all works out for the best! Thank you again!