Message edited 2/18/2007 12:24:56 AM.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

i don't think you are terrible

no advice other than to smile and try to be happy for you friend

and keep in you heart that you will have your day

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

You are not horrible at all. It's natural to feel conflicted about your cousin and your friend because of the depth of your longing for a child. You are being honest in a safe, supportive forum with women who understand what you are feeling and going through.



I'm so sorry about your mc and am sending loads of your way.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

I am not even trying for a baby and when my best friend told me she was pregnant recently I had all these emotions and felt like a horrible friend. i was just so envious that she is at that stage of her life and i am not. luckily i spoke to dh about it and he totally understood and said maybe i was more ready than i thought i was to have a baby, although life situations are causing us to wait a bit.

I literally cried after i got off the phone with her....so I think it is a natural thing.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

It's completely natural to feel some jealousy. We can be jealous of our friends and family once in a while but still love and support them at the same time.

Please try not to negate or discount your feelings, too... sure, "things could be worse," but that doesn't mean your frustration and sadness aren't legitimate.

All in all, try not to be hard on yourself, and try to refocus your energy on supporting your cousin and making yourself feel happier, too.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

I think it is very natural to feel as you do. Your emotions tend to take over and you feel like it is out of control. Please know, however, that you can try to control them if you want but remember, they are your emotions and if you want to give in to them, you have every right to. Just try to let them out when you're alone or with DH so you can be open about them and express yourself freely. It may be easier then to deal directly with others if you let yourself have these feelings. I hope this makes sense.... it is how I handled my m/c in June and some of the insensitive but well-meaning comments afterward.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

You are NOT a terrible friend!! I just read an article on this and it stated what was already said. Do not discount your feelings. If you can't be genuinely happy, don't fake it. Take some distance if needed.

You'll find that hiding your emotions is worse. Be honest if need be. Your happiness for them will come. Don't rush it.

And I wish you much dust!!

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

You are not horrible at all! I have to say that i am feeling the exact same way you are. First my SIL found out she was expecting her 2nd, then I found out my best friend is 10 weeks pregnant, she wasnt trying at all, actually was avoiding it, and then just last week, my other best friend got a BFP, and is 5 weeks prego. I am so happy for them, but so emotional for myself. All 3 were blessed with getting pregnant easily.
Its hard when i have no one to talk to about my feelings, since they all are pregnant.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

You are certainly not!! It is soo normal to have though feelings. Even though this coming month will be out first month TTC, in the past i would def feel jealous and sad that mine and my DH friends were getting pregnant, (even though me and him were only dating at the time). Keep your head up, it will happen soon for you :)

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

You are not a terrible friend. Some of us have been trying for one month. Some of us have been trying for years. Some are somewhere in between. DH and I are on our third month trying. However, as far as I am concerned, it is a culminating event of a lifetime's woth of yearning. Ever since I was a child, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother. At 35, I got married and I will hopefully become a mother before I turn 37. So, in my mind, it hasnt been 3 months of trying and waiting, but rather 30+ years of waiting. I think your feelings are valid and normal.

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

its not terrible yhou are tryng and wish it was you

Re: Am I a terrible friend?

Thanks for all the advice! It definitely helps to be able to get this off my chest without being judged!!

PS - love the new emote sooo cute

Message edited 9/8/2006 10:15:17 AM.