100 days and scared to death as the DAY gets closer...

I have to have a c-section due to placenta previa, i swore up and down after DD i would not have a section, i nevr thought i would HAVE to have one. My first section left me in ICU with multi-organ staph, pneumonia, blood infection and post partum congestive heart failure, they didn't think i would make it out of ICU, all because some idiot did not clean the instruments properly I couldn't breastfeed because of the infection and missed out on DD's first 2 weeks, i felt robbed of my birth experience. Found out later that OB happened to be having an affir with the OR nurse and was in the process of leaving his wife of 20+ years to move in with the OR nurse...guess who was my OR nurse?? I have expressed to my doc that i do not want this OB touching me or i will be delivering at another hospital...
Now i have to have a 2nd c-section and im scared to death, same hospital with the same OB (although it was his on call OB that did my section with DD), OB seems like he is sure it won't happen again but im very scared and apprehensive about going through this again....the day is getting closer and closer now with double digits....no wonder why my blood pressure keeps getting higher and higher...

Message edited 5/17/2011 2:28:16 PM.

Re: 100 days and scared to death as the DAY gets closer...

First off...So sorry you had to go through that, that sounds more awful than I can imagine

Second...IDK how I would handle that, idk if I would go back there to him but then again whats the chances of that ACTUALLY happening again!? You have every right to be nervous, but I'd not to think about it until you absolutely NEED to. Other than that, I'm so sorry you had that happen to you!

Re: 100 days and scared to death as the DAY gets closer...

OMG I am so sorry this happened to you the 1st time around Thats just terrible. Thank God u pulled through it and u are ok now.

As far as ur OB.. i give u credit for going back to him cuz I def wouldn't have. Also try to stay clam. just because it happened once it doesn't mean that it will happen again. Try to think positive thoughts. I know its easier said than done but u have to try to stay positive.