2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

Ok- so my mother and my MIL have never gotten along. My MIL NEVER invites my parents to any event/function/family party whatever. It's just been a known fact.. It's been this way for over 7 years, it's not going to change.
When my bridal shower was in the planning stage, my mom consulted MIL for her list of people and if she had any input. At that point, my mom had tentatively reserved our church basement for the event and had the catering taken care of. MIL grumbled that it wasn't going to be in a restaurant like every "normal shower" is, but didn't volunteer to help out financially soo mom went the church basement route. MIL edits her list of people to come because she was "embarassed" to have certain people come to a party in a church basement. At our actual shower, because it was a church, obviously we didn't have a bar or anything (plus it was 11AM) so MIL took HER PEOPLE out to her car and gave them boxed wine out of her trunk.

Anyway, so now mom is planning our shower and not including MIL's side at all. I'm pretty sure MIL suspects this being that we live in Massachusetts now and she's still on LI along with the rest of DH's family(clan). I'm just not sure if it's MY place to bring this topic up to MIL or if my mom should do it. It's going to be uncomfortable either way, I just don't know if it's my place or not being the history and all..

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

Wow you're MIL is a funny combination of snob and trash LMAO. Too fancy for church basements, but not for drinking boxed wine oout of a trunk.
Awesome.
I don't know what advice to offer, bc I would be upset if my mom spitefully didn't at least invite my MIL's side of the family to attend.
I think your mom should talk to her about the plans and be the bigger person.

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

I feel horrible for you. If i were you i would say something. Its seems like your MIL needs to be out in her place. What does your DH say?

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

I think she should at least invite them. Just so nothing could ever be said about about your mom leaving them out.

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

Posted by Bluepixie

(this is the same woman who wore a white gown with a train to our wedding.. )

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

OMG!! I agree maybe just invite them so you show her that you are the better people.

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

If I were you, to save myself the aggravation I would just let my mom and MIL duke it out and stay as far away as possible.

If it's a fact that they have never gotten along, nor will they ever, you won't be able to make anyone happy. And why should your mom pay for an event with MIL people if MIL only wants to contribute insults.

Sorry you have to deal with this

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

So if you invited DH's family to the one your mother is throwing you, they wouldn't come?

I hate pettiness, so I would just go talk to his mom and tell you want only 1 shower with everyone together, if she doesn't like it tough!

She wore white to your wedding

She sounds like a piece of work.

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

ugh, sweetie, i'd ahte to be in your shoes. at least you ae in MA and don't have to see her much!

i agree with the previous posters - if you have his family's info, invite them to the shower (as few people as you can get away with). that way it's on your MIL and not you - and even though i know your mom sees no reason to invite her, gently remind her that it's not about their "feud," but about getting the baby lots of cool stuff!

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

I'm sorry that you are going through this!


I think you DH should tell his mother. Its not your mother's place or issue to have to deal with your MIL. She tried at the bridal shower. This is your DH's place.

Re: 2 showers? Yikes! (LONG)

I would invite MIL's family and if they come, they come. Your mom doesn't want to look like the bad one here.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this!